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Why is everyone around me always being so mean?

150 Answers
Last Updated: 11/17/2021 at 3:30pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
September 14th, 2016 12:03pm
It's got nothing to do with you. You live in a world today, that is full of nothing but hate and ignorance.
August 12th, 2016 9:29am
These people are horrible, don't let them beat you down because it's not your fault, you're amazing as you are! You can find people who accept you as you are. Also don't blame yourself cause it's not your fault there is horrible people in life. I wish you the best! :)
October 2nd, 2016 6:14pm
Not everyone around you is mean, and you're not doing anything wrong. Everyone's just jealous of how original you are! ❤
February 13th, 2018 10:50am
Nothing. The way other people treat you, good or bad, is ALWAYS all about them, not you. You have zero control over how anyone treats you. But what you can control is your own time and attention. That's where your personal power lies, because nobody can take those things from you unless you give it to them. That makes your time and attention extremely valuable. You need to think of them as a gift, which you can give or not give to people as you choose. So the solution is, exercise your personal power and stop giving your valuable time and attention to those assholes. They don't deserve the gift, and being around them is toxic to you. You're worth way more than what they see, and if they don't see your value, it's their loss. Not yours. From now on, cut all toxic people out of your life, and find others to hang with who will pull you up, not push you down. The world is full of both kinds, and a bunch more who don't care either way. You just need to seek out the good eggs. You might not be able to do that overnight. It might take you weeks, months, or years if you're stuck with the toxics because they're in your family, school, job, etc. If that's the case, don't let it stop you, but you'll need a long term plan. Plot your escape, bide your time, and get out when the opportunity comes. Watch The Shawshank Redemption (1994 movie) if you want some inspiration. Being happy and successful in life is all about controlling what you can control, and letting go of everything else. Best of luck.
July 21st, 2016 1:38am
The people may not understand you or what your personality is like. A lot of the time they judge harshly from looks.
February 17th, 2017 2:33pm
Usually it is because they are jealous. Sometimes, it can be because you are different, even though being different is a GOOD thing, most people don't understand that.
July 27th, 2016 1:19pm
That may depend on your situation. In my experiance i have found that people tend to follow someone elses lead. Meaning if theres on person whos being rude, someone may follow lead to fit in, and soon enough many people are following their lead.
July 24th, 2016 11:25pm
Look for the common denominator in all the situations that people are mean. You must also question why you are only seeing that all people are mean around you. Why don't you see that positives?
July 25th, 2016 7:31am
Maybe those around you don't realize they are being mean or the affect it has on you. Sometimes people are mean because of things they are dealing with in their own life such as anger, sadness or fear, they may be acting on their own emotions.
September 9th, 2016 9:05pm
try being nothing but nice and emit a positive energy. It is harder for people to be mean when you are so nice and positive.
December 10th, 2016 11:16pm
People are going to be mean and hateful no matter who you are or what you do. All that matters is that you are happy and don't give them the benefit of making you upset because they are not worth it.
May 5th, 2017 6:50pm
Society nowadays is cruel, there are seriously hard standards to live by just to fit in, and when people don't fit these standards, people can be very cruel. Judging and prejudice is sadly common in today's society
December 29th, 2016 11:17pm
Some people are dealing with inner demons, and they dont know how to deal with them. The best thing you can do is to try and spread some kindness.
August 10th, 2016 5:39am
Perspective. They could be actually being mean or you could perceive them to be mean when they really aren't. It also depends on who you are around and their personalities. Maybe you need a different environment or a group of people to be around. Or try to see things from a different perspective.
August 11th, 2016 9:45am
Because they don't understand you. If people don't understand, then they reach for stereotypes. They need a way to define you, and even if they means over-generalising you, it has to be done. The way forward is to promote understanding and to learn that you will never fully understand someone.
October 27th, 2016 4:39am
The world is filled with unkind people. Hurt people hurt people. Surround yourself with positivity. Being on 7 cups is a good place to start.
May 30th, 2018 3:30pm
Because they are mean to themselves. How people act is a reflection of themselves and how they feel about themselves.
August 19th, 2016 8:10pm
Because maybe they're jealous of you so they put you down to make them feel better. Just ignore the haters they are low key fans.
June 22nd, 2018 7:52am
Dear, it is in your head you are thinking that people are mean to you. One day, just walk out with your head held high without looking at any them and giving no reaction whatsoever. You will prevail.
August 24th, 2016 7:29pm
Each and every one in this world will hurt you , it's up to you to choose people whom it is worth suffering for... They will be mean to you..don't loose your cool... Be good do good... But don't expect good... That's when you'll realise everyone around you is mean...
August 25th, 2016 12:57pm
Sometimes it means kids are jealous of you. It depends on what they are saying, but that could be bulling.
August 14th, 2016 9:08am
There are alot of reasons for that some people just like seeing you suffer others may be treated like that and think its the right way to treat people just dont take it too personal you never know what might be happening on their end
October 8th, 2016 2:28pm
It's not your fault. It's probably their fault. Something may have happened to them to cause this behavior.
August 6th, 2016 11:23am
The attachment pattern that you have is an insecure one.. You can try to reason out why you think so and work on creating a healthy and secure attachment pattern with others :)
August 14th, 2016 9:45pm
Sometimes we can take what people say as a personal attack and they might not mean anything personal
August 21st, 2016 4:52am
People are mean for various reasons. There's the classic reason of people feeling bad abou themselves to therefore they try to put others down. Related to that is that for some people that's all they know. They might have abusive or mean parents, they may have been bullied themselves, etc so this either gives them a chance to be the one on top or they just don't know any different. When it comes down to it, whichever way you cut the cake, most people who are mean have no idea how those they are mean to are feeling. They don't for a second put themselves in the shoes of others. If they'd only think a little bit, they'd change their behavior a lot.
August 18th, 2016 3:44am
They may have something going on personal. It's true that they shouldn't bring it out on you. Or some may be jealous and just take it out on you as if that satisfies them. There could be multiple reasons. Maybe try talking to them and seeing what did you do that was so wrong.
August 26th, 2016 6:20pm
Because people don't always understand what you are going through so they lash out. People can be cruel.
September 24th, 2016 4:54am
Evaluate who you interact with. Perhaps you're surrounded by people who are not great influences in your life, and who do not care about your feelings. See if you should stay clear from these individuals in order to ensure self-happiness.
October 20th, 2016 11:32am
Often although not always the case, anger is how some people display that they are struggling it's their method of crying for help. I know that it's hard when people are mean to you. But sometimes it helps to try and realise that the person who is being mean to you may be having a tough time as well