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Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?

156 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 2:28pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
jovialMermaid84
July 17th, 2016 7:03am
To change their minds, you would need to change your mind, the way you interact with them. People will believe what you show them. It would be helpful to contemplate why they feel this way. Allow yourself to truly look inward about this so you can assess what needs to be changed about how the interaction may create this belief for them. Once you're aware, it is easier to make adjustments. Be the version of yourself that you want your peers to see.
DreamAvis
August 11th, 2016 10:54am
Usually bitterness stems from reclusiveness.. If people feel excluded by you, they make up an image of your attide for themselves. I know it can be hard, but try opening up to people.. When they introduce you to their friends be friendly.. Surely this notion of their a will go away once they get to know you.
WonderLostSoul
July 14th, 2016 6:02pm
Get yourself out there, but still be yourself! Make tons of friends and you'll be just fine. :) :) :)
HajiCho
July 14th, 2016 11:56pm
Find out why they think that and find a way to compromise with them. :) Compromise is everything and it helps everyone find common ground
Anonymous
November 21st, 2019 1:48am
Possibly there are options to emphasize your non-bitterness -- but ultimately, the opinion of one person, multiple people, or 'everyone', regardless of their relation to you, does not necessarily define you. It's hard when people are putting labels on us that just aren't true, naturally we want to defend ourselves, but in the end, we cannot control what other people think. Your opinion of yourself is really what's important -- and you don't think you're bitter, which is awesome. You know your truth and sometimes that has to be satisfying enough. It can be exhausting trying to change other people's opinions; it's like inadvertently living for other people. It also seems improbable that 100% of the school really thinks this way; surely there are people who have neutral opinions, or some in the school who don't know you yet to form an opinion, and maybe some who have good opinions of you! Who knows for sure? People will come and go, but you will be with yourself forever. Hope you find some peace. Be well and good luck!
Rivelino3
January 26th, 2020 8:19am
It depends on who they think you are and why they do so. If they think you are bitter when you even aren't doing things that make you seem bitter in general, then maybe you cant change their minds even if you tried to change yourself into someone else. It could be possible, but the only way to change their mind would be to be a person whom they think isn't bitter, and for that you would need to know what makes someone bitter for them by asking them. Personally, it comes down to being who I am and being okay with it, which can be difficult if I was thought to be someone not good, which isn't easy and understandably so. But maybe with time, certain circumstances or factors can make it easy to be ourselves and to accept that we are who we are doing our best, even if most disagree with us or cant see whom we truly are. I hope you can find a way out and have peace, I am sorry if this is giving you a hard time
patientJoy11
September 11th, 2016 1:35am
Prove them wrong. Impressions can be so wrong and completely opposite of who you really are. Bring cookies for people at lunch or give out compliments
MeganP
June 2nd, 2018 11:42pm
Don't let other peoples' perceptions of you become a cause for you to change yourself. Let you just be you!The people who want to know you and be in your life will see you for who you truly are and not the 'bitter person' you say everybody thinks you are.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2018 3:51am
Maybe they think that you are bitter because its what they are seeing from you or from your aura. Try proving them wrong that what they see from you is a bitter person. Be optimistic or happy. Don't spread negativity to people.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 9:52am
Start off small, if you aren't outgoing you could just say a simple hello to a few people, if you mostly have a neutral or frowning face, try and smile to someone you enjoy the company of once in a while. A few kind words here and there and a positive attitude can go a long way as well!
mmmmegan
July 16th, 2016 3:18am
Try to think about why you come off as bitter to people, maybe it's the way you talk or do things. You can try to change that and appear as more perky and less bitter, but I also think that if you are okay with who you are, why should it matter what they think of you?
Junghwa
July 28th, 2016 1:58pm
Alot of people who just met me think I'm bitter and boring, even my current friends had this image of me when I first met them. Usually I don't try to change their minds. All I'm doing is be myself and eventually the people who want to hang out with me will find out I'm not the guy they think I am.
SAHURAD
June 28th, 2018 5:54pm
well you know what, let them be. i read this line somewhere," if you start thinking what others think about you, what will there be left for them to think". I had a bad time as a kid, and was bullied, maybe my situation is opposite of yours but i guess the solution is same, let them be rude, let them call you names, all you have to do is control your mind, to not get affected from these. thats much easier than controlling others into believing you are good ryt.
FlightlessSongBird
July 19th, 2019 2:23pm
If it’s a matter of changing their perspectives of you, try interacting with them in ways that will reflect positively on you such as being friendly in hallways or classrooms and smiling occasionally as you pass them. Essentially, try to instill a positive impression on them. You have the power to change people’s hearts and minds and if you make a genuine effort to do so, people will notice and subconsciously begin to view you otherwise. However, be aware that there are some people who will have unfair or untrue opinions and views of you that cannot be changed.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2019 10:41pm
Do not ever bother changing people's minds, it wastes so much of everyone's time. Just try and be more positive. "nothing changed but me" - see book. Change within don't try to change other people because nobody wants to be changed or told to do so. Just try to smile more. You can do anything with a smile, it'll make everything more "sunny" or positive. Just remember never to try and tell others to change and giving advice is not helpful. Be yourself, don't worry to much about what anyone else thinks.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2018 5:53pm
If you mean that they think you are bitter, I don't think it's about changing their minds. You should focus on being a positive person. For example, some people rely on negativity to fuel their conversations with people. Maybe try to feel confident making positive jokes and saying positive things. Try to say hey to more people in the halls and give people lots of compliments. Try to always make it so that everyone you meet has a positive experience when they talk to you. Remember, you want to make everyone really like talking to you in their free time.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 4:11pm
You should be yourself, after all in school, most people there you won't see after you finish, if people like you it should be cause of who you are and not cause 0f who they want you to be. Just be yourself, then you don't ever have to take anything and people will for sure stick around and that'll be cause they want to, you shouldn't feel like you have to change when you're with real friends and if your friends make you feel like you need to change then they're not real friends, so to summarize, you don't change their minds, you just be yourself and if they like you or not shouldn't bother you, you attract the people, if they stay or not it's their choice
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 4:48pm
Have a smile on your face and be more open and out going . Join clubs and be kind with everyone . Make conversations .
FriendRevka59
August 11th, 2018 11:57pm
Well at my school everyone thought that i was bitter then I started speaking kindly and calmly to my peers and they changed their minds
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 4:49pm
You could try being more of a happy not-bitter person and then they will see that you aren't bitter.
kaylaelliott124
March 7th, 2018 5:04pm
think about your mannerisms in a day that lead to people thinking that, write them down, and work on fixing them one at a time
miaavalentino
July 26th, 2018 4:54am
Everyone in school thinks you are bitter, you want to change that. Well you can start by trying to interact more with people, in little ways. Compliment someone, or help someone pick up their books, or even just open the door for them!
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 11:30am
Being bitter generally means that you are sad, down, short tempered and maybe not so easy to get along with. You can change this by being more approachable and happy in your demeanor.
WonderfullTree
July 20th, 2018 3:33pm
This might be caused by either your body language or your actually behaviour/speech. So here are three suggestions, one for each; 1) Practise in a mirror different facial expressions, do this at home, not at school! This will help you learn to control the muscles in your face. 2) Avoid giving negative comments/feedback unless explicitly asked. There is absolutely no win for randomly saying "Bob's shirt is ugly" however if you were to randomly say things like "Caren's dress is beautiful!" there will be :) 3) It has never hurt anyone to do a random act of kindness for someone. Hold that door, pick up something that was dropped on the floor, pick up that empty can of cola and put it in the bin. This can have immensely positive impact on both you and the rest of your school!
LovingPhantom
July 15th, 2018 3:55am
First I recommend to look inwardly on 1)Why they may think that and 2)Why does that affect you. You may choose to not listen to them and to be yourself, because what others think does truly matter in the long run. Eventually, they won't mean anything to you. However, if you want to smooth the waters persay and create a positive atmosphere around you, maybe you could try doing positive things in your community. It could be community service or helping in a club or simply being there for a friend. When you bring good into the world, you'll get good out. So what if you're bitter? You are an amazing human being with a world of potential. And if they can't see how amazing you are, then find friends who do. You'll always have someone that doesn't like you and that's okay, it's a part of life.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2018 3:38am
1) Stop being calculative immediately and start showing your gentler, less angry side...with time, they will forget why/if you were bitter and just remember you were not. 2) if you are misunderstood and a clarification-chat can help...go ahead have it! have a heartfelt and honest one =) 3) Remember if you disagree...you can voice out your disagreement...ANYTIME. but voice it out...dont force it...voice it. and if they dont accept your views know that you are not wrong...but know you can only voice...g'luck!
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 2:08am
Do some random acts of kindness for people or just go up and have a friendly chat with them! Most people will change their minds once you do it enough, and they will see you are a great friend.
SydneyJude
July 3rd, 2018 4:47am
When I was in school, people thought that I was bitter, and upset at reality, changing their minds is out of the question. The important thing is to realize that you are your own person, and that no one else can put you into a box unless you let them.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2018 12:31am
To start, how do you act around your schoolmates? Why do they think you are bitter? Being kind and grateful will help you with your schoolmates. Ask them why they think you are bitter. Don’t change yourself, just take feedback from your friends for example!
HeartAndEarsRalwaysOpen
March 30th, 2018 6:15pm
If the school thinks your bitter try and start by just making one friend. If you know someone that is lonely, you can go and become friends with them. Once you have been friends with someone you will gain more and more friends.