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Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?

153 Answers
Last Updated: 01/12/2022 at 4:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
July 17th, 2016 7:03am
To change their minds, you would need to change your mind, the way you interact with them. People will believe what you show them. It would be helpful to contemplate why they feel this way. Allow yourself to truly look inward about this so you can assess what needs to be changed about how the interaction may create this belief for them. Once you're aware, it is easier to make adjustments. Be the version of yourself that you want your peers to see.
August 11th, 2016 10:54am
Usually bitterness stems from reclusiveness.. If people feel excluded by you, they make up an image of your attide for themselves. I know it can be hard, but try opening up to people.. When they introduce you to their friends be friendly.. Surely this notion of their a will go away once they get to know you.
July 14th, 2016 6:02pm
Get yourself out there, but still be yourself! Make tons of friends and you'll be just fine. :) :) :)
July 14th, 2016 11:56pm
Find out why they think that and find a way to compromise with them. :) Compromise is everything and it helps everyone find common ground
July 16th, 2016 3:18am
Try to think about why you come off as bitter to people, maybe it's the way you talk or do things. You can try to change that and appear as more perky and less bitter, but I also think that if you are okay with who you are, why should it matter what they think of you?
July 28th, 2016 1:58pm
Alot of people who just met me think I'm bitter and boring, even my current friends had this image of me when I first met them. Usually I don't try to change their minds. All I'm doing is be myself and eventually the people who want to hang out with me will find out I'm not the guy they think I am.
September 11th, 2016 1:35am
Prove them wrong. Impressions can be so wrong and completely opposite of who you really are. Bring cookies for people at lunch or give out compliments
April 15th, 2018 9:52am
Start off small, if you aren't outgoing you could just say a simple hello to a few people, if you mostly have a neutral or frowning face, try and smile to someone you enjoy the company of once in a while. A few kind words here and there and a positive attitude can go a long way as well!
May 13th, 2018 3:51am
Maybe they think that you are bitter because its what they are seeing from you or from your aura. Try proving them wrong that what they see from you is a bitter person. Be optimistic or happy. Don't spread negativity to people.
June 2nd, 2018 11:42pm
Don't let other peoples' perceptions of you become a cause for you to change yourself. Let you just be you!The people who want to know you and be in your life will see you for who you truly are and not the 'bitter person' you say everybody thinks you are.
November 21st, 2019 1:48am
Possibly there are options to emphasize your non-bitterness -- but ultimately, the opinion of one person, multiple people, or 'everyone', regardless of their relation to you, does not necessarily define you. It's hard when people are putting labels on us that just aren't true, naturally we want to defend ourselves, but in the end, we cannot control what other people think. Your opinion of yourself is really what's important -- and you don't think you're bitter, which is awesome. You know your truth and sometimes that has to be satisfying enough. It can be exhausting trying to change other people's opinions; it's like inadvertently living for other people. It also seems improbable that 100% of the school really thinks this way; surely there are people who have neutral opinions, or some in the school who don't know you yet to form an opinion, and maybe some who have good opinions of you! Who knows for sure? People will come and go, but you will be with yourself forever. Hope you find some peace. Be well and good luck!
January 26th, 2020 8:19am
It depends on who they think you are and why they do so. If they think you are bitter when you even aren't doing things that make you seem bitter in general, then maybe you cant change their minds even if you tried to change yourself into someone else. It could be possible, but the only way to change their mind would be to be a person whom they think isn't bitter, and for that you would need to know what makes someone bitter for them by asking them. Personally, it comes down to being who I am and being okay with it, which can be difficult if I was thought to be someone not good, which isn't easy and understandably so. But maybe with time, certain circumstances or factors can make it easy to be ourselves and to accept that we are who we are doing our best, even if most disagree with us or cant see whom we truly are. I hope you can find a way out and have peace, I am sorry if this is giving you a hard time
July 27th, 2016 1:09am
Start being more positive. I've been there - it can be hard to be happy, but if you put in a lot of effort you can feel happier and seem less cynical. Remember, be skeptical - not cynical as one is wary of the value of some things while the other knows the value of nothing.
July 30th, 2016 5:13am
Show the school that you are not a bitter person by always keeping a smile on your face and being an example for doing good inside the campus and outside as well! Do not focus on the fact that other people find you bitter. Instead, you should focus on how to make yourself a better person by spreading good vibes and positiveness! They will realize how not-bitter you are before you even know it!
July 30th, 2016 12:21pm
You shouldn't try to change how people feel about you, especially if you know you're not bitter. Just be yourself.
August 3rd, 2016 1:44pm
Eat more and drink more so your not grumpy when you talk to them. Make sure your feeling physically good. Sometimes if we are suffering internally it comes out as bitter or aggressive but really you just don't feel good
August 3rd, 2016 10:27pm
Just be your self and your sky will shine through and they will know hi amazing you are smile smile
August 4th, 2016 2:59am
You can't change anybody's mind if they don't wish to change their mind. You can choose to change yours (and that's about it).
August 4th, 2016 4:50pm
Don't listen to people who are trying to make you feel bad. If you don't think you are bitter, then you definitely aren't!
August 5th, 2016 5:37am
Try smiling more, making a little bit of an effort of being kinder/nicer to others, making a little more effort being more sociable and don't be scared of opening up.
August 6th, 2016 9:38am
If you'd like to change their minds, smiling more ,talking to more people and just being more sociable in general will help
August 11th, 2016 1:46am
Just be yourself, and socialize more, soon people will realize your the the bitter person they once thought you were
August 13th, 2016 9:17pm
Be how you are. If they still think it don't listen to them, just be yourself, you shouldn't try to be different for others
August 14th, 2016 9:13am
Make them realise your not and maybe change your attitude and be more active and positive towards situations but dont take it personal you are who you and in the end the right people will come to you
August 17th, 2016 9:21pm
Who cares if kids think you're bitter in school? You are you. If you're happy in your own skin, don't ever change. If this REALLY bothers you, I'd suggest smiling a little more. Maybe help that one kid with his homework. But please, I beg of you do not change.
August 21st, 2016 6:27pm
You could easily change their minds from thinking you're bitter by being nice to them, helping them in whatever they need help with, and most importantly be there when they do need help and you think you are able to hell them.
August 26th, 2016 5:36pm
Be excited and preppy, everyone thinks those girls are nice. Try to be helpful too! Iyou can do it๐Ÿ˜€
August 27th, 2016 9:37pm
just go to them and try to interact with them and try help those guys on occassional moments so that they can feel your warm heart
August 28th, 2016 4:13pm
Try being polite, and happy as you can. As people how they're doing, avoid drama, and if someone wrongs you, forgive, but don't forget.
August 31st, 2016 1:13am
Smile. Be friendly. Step out of your comfort zone. It's hard at first but gets easier. Ultimately though, focus on making you the best person you can be, not what others think.