What is the best way to prevent a past traumatic experience from effecting my present relationships?
Last Updated: 01/19/2021 at 7:04am
Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment
Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.
Top Rated Answers
Remember that what happened in the past solely happened in the past; while what will happen in the future is to be determined. By clearly seeing how the past is past and future is future, you might be able to lessen your generalization from past experience to future ones.
Be open with your current partner. Let them know that you may need to take breaks from certain things, and you may act like you're distancing yourself but that you aren't trying to leave them. Hopefully they will be understanding.
I would suggest seeking professional help. They can discuss what happened to you and teach coping mechanisms to help you. I can't say if or how much it will effect your present relationships, but all you can do is try and take care of yourself the best you can.
Everyone is different and there is no one answer fits all. You could try seeking help from a counselor or therapist if you are finding that this situation is affecting you life daily.
The best way to prevent a past traumatic experience from effecting your relationships now is to trust the person you are with and remember that the past is in the past. It was all said and done, now you have to be strong and move onward and forward.
It's important to be open and honest and let the present relationship know what you've been through. This way they can understand your fears and apprehension. Then together you can find ways to move past the traumatic experience, knowing that this person is not the same as the one who hurt you.
It's much easier said than done, but I would focus on living in the here and now. it takes conscious effort to remind yourself that what happened before is in the past and is unrelated to your present relationships. I highly recommend "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, which discusses a lot about how trauma effects the body and some exercises you can practice to keep yourself in the present.
Accept whatever you are feeling. Understanding that it's okay to feel hurt because of your past. Sit down with yourself, get some alone time and write about what you feel or talk to someone about it. Getting to know why you're feeling such things is important. It's important to understand and reflect on your feelings. Also, don't let your past define you. The past is in the past, there's nothing you can do to change it. Allow yourself to start over and bring new people and experiences into your life. Stay committed to feeling better and working on your self. Love yourself and give yourself time to heal. In the end, it all works out.
I think one way to prevent your past experience from affecting your current relationship is to identify how you think your past will affect your present relationships. Once you have identified those areas, you can make a plan to evaluate whether your behavior reflects concerns from a past relationship. For instance, if you have trust issues, does your behavior in your current relationship exhibit that? If so, are your concerns valid? In other words, did the other person do something or say something that is causing you to mistrust him or her? If the other person did not do anything for you to mistrust him or her, where are your concerns coming from? Are they from insecurities or a lack of self-esteem? If it is self-esteem, what can you do to build it?
Trauma is not the same for everyone, and is processed in different ways. But here is what helped me move past sexual trauma in my past. address the trauma, acknowledge, and grow past it. Trauma is hard to move past, but acknowledging something hurt you and knowing you're better now because of it is a good first step. It hurt me and that's okay. It's okay to be hurt, but it's not okay to stay hurt. It's time to move on, it's time to heal. You have to let yourself heal from it. I believe in you! You got this.
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