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How do I talk to my parents when I don't agree with their decisions?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2021 at 1:29pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
March 2nd, 2015 6:58pm
Well you have to be as polite as you can be for starters. Don't focus on that 'that they are wrong' but focus on 'you don't agree' that way you have more chances at success. Then you need a well prepared argument, picture your parents in mind, they are standing in front of you, you have shared that you don't agree with their decision, now picture their reaction and your response and continue doing so until you are sure you can win this thing. Then timing is important too, if you talk to them when they are already angry you will be simply an idiot. So select a time when you are alone with them and they are in somewhat good mood or you have done something they are happy with on that day. You can tell them that you want to learn to swim on your own although you appreciate them telling you fire hurts you want to experience it for yourself so you can grow and come to see things how you see [by you I meant your parents]
June 13th, 2016 12:13am
first smile and hug them don't argue at that moment and after everything cools down go to them and make them understand your point of view.
April 13th, 2015 2:05am
Make sure to listen to their side fully. Just the fact that you are interested in hearing them out will make them more likely to hear out your side as well.
May 5th, 2015 5:38pm
You're not the only one with this current issue. But, I think it would be best if you all sat down together, and calmly told what your point of view is, and then let them know how you feel about their decision, and that you would like to make the decisions for yourself.
May 22nd, 2015 1:14pm
Try sitting down and just saying that while you aren't trying to be disrespectful you don't really agree with their decision and explain why. Try doing this as calmly as possible and with an open mind so you actually hear what they have to say as well.
May 30th, 2015 2:20pm
communication is probably the most essential thing in any relationship, have a sit down with your parents and discuss your views and opinions on why you don't agree with their decisions, you must remember though that parents always have your best interest at heart, and they will only do what they think is best for you
August 18th, 2015 4:58pm
Its difficult I understand that from personal experiences. You feel awkward to talk to them and try and avoid conversations with them incase the subject comes up again. I think its very important to express how this is making you feel to them because if you dont then they may keep brining the subject up and making you feel uncomfortable and even upsetting you. Having a heathy relationship with your parents is very important. That is why I believe that you need to find a middle ground where you are both happy and you can then work on you differences. Talking about how you feel with you parents opens paths for healthy and close relations with them.
November 30th, 2015 12:44pm
I take a break from them, try to see it from their perspective and try and address that instead of solely on my own interests. It doesn't make me selfless to remember they want what's best for me.
February 23rd, 2016 1:06pm
Talk to your parents about the subject and find a midpoint to where both of you guys can agree on. Communication is key.
March 8th, 2016 7:21am
Talk with respect , even if you don't agree with them. You can , however, try to get your point across without bring disrespectful and angry. I know it's easier said than done but you can always try.
October 4th, 2016 3:00pm
Your parents mostly want what's best for you. But sometimes your perspectives may differ. It is important to understand where they are coming from. You can try to communicate your perspective to them, politely and firmly.
August 1st, 2017 2:17pm
Try to tell them that you're not really fond with their decisions and tell them to consider your own decisions. Tell them this nicely, as many parents like to think they're always right and would think you're trying to rebel against them if you tell them rudely.
June 23rd, 2020 2:43pm
This can be really difficult because you often see your parents as being above you on a hierarchy and therefore you are expected to agree with whatever they do. Try to have a calm and mature conversation with them where you can express exactly what your feeling and try to make them understand things from your point of view. It's also important for you to understand why they have made these decisions so communication is really important. Sometimes its okay for you to have completely different opinions to them as long as you are all respectful towards each other. Hopefully if you have this discussion, your parents should take your feelings into account when making decisions future.
March 15th, 2021 10:22pm
I can sense that that you worry about the potential misunderstandings created between yourself and your parents if you share that you disagree with their decisions. Due to a generation gap in thinking young people and parents deviate in how they think, feel and express. Intentions can be good yet sometimes this does not translate into a helpful response. You parents may have you in their best interests. What you need to ask yourself is what is your non-verbal and verbal communication telling them? What is your parent’s verbal and non-verbal communication telling you? You can ask yourself what specific things you are concerned about when it comes to communicating with parents? Put yourself in the shoes of the parent too: If your son or daughter were to tell you about not agreeing with their decisions what would your response be? The world is a place that is changing which is something the young person can share. Honesty and openness in communication is key and if there are hesitancies in how you want to go by communicating with your parent's perhaps you may want to write out a letter. Think about the tone and word choice of the message. How are you coming across in the message? You can also reflect on what you feel is non-verbal communication that is respectful. If wanting further support do not hesitate to communicate with one of our listeners and therapists with lived experience or specialism's in family stress or self-esteem.
July 13th, 2021 1:29pm
Calmly. It's not what you say, but how you say it. Yes, it's true. Regardless of how hasty, or angered they may get, and how quick, please remain calm. I don't know your parents, but I do know that three of you all in a yelling match would never get anything done, and simply doesn't make sense. Sit them down, and calmly approach whatever decision you don't agree with. Explain why you don't agree. Whatever emotions are repercussions may arise from their decisions, just explain it all to them. Explain that you just want them to understand your point of view on the matter. Even include a recommendation. "Mom...Dad...instead of this, why not this instead," and explain how that recommendation is better than their original decision. They may try to interrupt you or even shut you down, because most parents always think they're right but don't give up on the situation. Approach them at different times maybe, different tones, if you realize something isn't working. Best of luck, xoxo.