What do I do when my husband ignores me?

136 Answers
Last Updated: 08/23/2019 at 5:11pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 1:15pm
When your husband ignores you, no matter if it’s all the time or just after arguments, he is trying to avoid and run away from a problem instead of dealing with it and solving it. Making your husband stop ignoring you is all about communication. The key to getting a man to listen to what you say and open up to you is to understand HIM before you talk about YOU. When you do that (talking about his needs first), you’ll get it back ten times over. He will instantly cater to your needs, without any resistance.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2016 9:10pm
It depends what you do about it now. Men are not much emotional so find way to self soothe you. Get passionate about something to keep busy or call friend. And see how your husband will respond
D0wn2earth
August 11th, 2016 2:10am
Find something better to do. Make your self happy while he's not around. A mans should never ignore a woman. He needs to treat you like his queen.
JoyfulDreamer13
July 14th, 2016 4:34am
Some people don't realize how much being ignored hurts. Talk to him and tell him it hurts you that he does that and ask him to talk to you and if you don't talk about problems they won't go away.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2016 11:12am
Try and ignore him too or tell him how you feel threaten him you will leave. Be calm and assertive its his loss not yours
Candid0211
April 12th, 2016 8:25am
If you feel your husband ignores you then try and ask yourself why do you feel so. Chances are if you go deep in the root of why you feel this way, you will also be able to find out the solution on how to address the same.
ItsAlyssa
July 28th, 2016 11:15pm
Talk to him and if he ignores you then move on because it means you are more mauture than he is.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2017 2:47am
When ignored by my spouse, if the marriage is still somewhat supportive, it is important for me to understand why I'm being ignored? What was it that I could have done? Did I have a part to play in becoming shunned by my spouse? How can I make things right? Or, if my spouse has ignored me repeatedly, despite attempts to reconcile, it is important to focus on doing the next right thing for your children, your family, and yourself.
PoliteOcean
June 2nd, 2016 5:58am
This can be a very challenging situation. Nobody wants to be ignored or be made to feel like they or being ignored. It can lead to all sorts of feelings within oneself as well as problems with the relationship. If you are in any relationship, one of the biggest things is "Communicating" with each other. Communication is key. You need to be honest with your spouse and how you are feeling. Otherwise they will have no way of knowing how you are truly feeling. If you feel that even after communicating that you are still having issues, it might be best to seek outside help or resources. (Such as counseling, therapy, support groups, or even spiritual guidance) to help you both connect and continue to move forward in communicating better with each other.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 11:17pm
Try to be upfront about it and talk to him. When talking to him try not be rude. Make him feel you are being understanding. Be open and make him feel nice so he can open up to you. Confined in him so he can confined back. Be patient give him time and space
Listener201
June 26th, 2016 2:42am
Just give him some space maybe he has alot going on..And maybe after alittle bit ask him what's bothering him so they you both and find a solution together♡
Anonymous
July 8th, 2016 9:44am
Confront him about it, Express your feelings to him, its the best thing you can do if you want to find a way to solve this.
coffeechix
April 20th, 2016 7:24pm
That's always a not so pleasant feeling when someone you love is not paying you attention when you speak to them. first ask yourself what your doing as we can address that first. do you get his attention. do you wait for him to start something then talk. Next time you try talking to him try this. Honey do you have a minute i want to run something by you? if he don't respond to that . send him a text message if he don't respond to that. be the squeaky wheel. and ask him all day every chance to speak to you. also i find it important to share how you feel when your ignored. don't say you hurt me when you ingore me. say when i'm ignored i feel ____ this way your not pointing fingers he can do that on his own. good luck!
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 2:10pm
Try to explain to him how you feel, and how it makes you feel when he ignores you. It's not ok for your spouse to ignore you.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 7:31am
Switch off the TV in the middle of his favourite game and announce that you are no longer cooking.... I'm joking :) When your husband isn't ignoring you explain to him that you appreciate him and you want to improve communicaton. Hold weekly meetings at a set time to sit down and discuss areas that both you and your husband can work on or areas you're doing well.
YouMeanToMe30
April 28th, 2016 7:13pm
You should sincerely talk to him about it that. telling him that what you feel about being ignored by him.
Anonymous
October 7th, 2016 10:24pm
Do you feel lonely? Maybe ignored? Maybe he's had a bad day. Confront him or your friends on this. Trust is important in a relationship.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2018 8:08am
Call his attention, by asking an advice, talking about something that matters a lot to him, doing something different
smileforawhile
April 22nd, 2016 11:18pm
Have you talked to him about the way that it makes you feel when he ignores you? Communication is key in any relationship! Maybe together you can come up with a solution. For example, instead of ignoring you, maybe he can communicate why he is feeling the way that he does.
DragonRoseListens
August 13th, 2016 9:28pm
Though personally this is a hard question for me to answer, because I am not married and I am a male myself, I do think I have one answer that could be a working solution. Though there are many reasons why he may be ignoring you you do know that he is in fact, ignoring You. Is he doing something else while he ignores you? What reasons do you think he could be ignoring you? Ask yourself questions and see if you can figure out why. If you can't seem to find out why? Try asking him in a calm manner, "Why are you ignoring me?" Furthermore you should express your discontent for his ignorance. Do stay calm! Perhaps he is ignoring you because he is upset with you. Or he has something bothering him. Maybe he just needs a hug or two and some silence or privacy. To simply answer," What do I do when my husband ignores me?" You should assess him. Ask why. And in a collected manner see if you can resolve that which is whatever is the reason he is ignoring you. Ofcourse in some cases the best thing to do is ignore them right back. Use the best of your judgement and try to show compassion either way. I know that when I have ignored my partner, I didn't want to talk to her because she had upset me. But I didn't talk back to her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. So there's something to think about. Maybe he just doesn't want to upset you by saying the wrong thing. Maybe though he is ignoring you all together, which could be a sign of more serious issues. Think about the questions like, "How often does he ignore you?", or, "When does he ignore you?". Just try not to get too upset and if you love him, things will work out in the end.
NumberEleven
September 8th, 2016 1:23am
Respect his space and if it bothers you communicate with him and tell him exactly what he does that make you feel that way.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2017 4:58pm
Try to find the reason to why he is ignoring. Is it because you said/did something? If he doesn't want to talk to you at all, you might want to give him some breathing room, then try talking to him.
RINM1230
October 13th, 2017 12:32am
If you feel your husband is ignoring you, give him time, maybe he has a lot on his plate. Your other option could be to talk to him and let him know how you feel. If you talk to him about it make sure it is a good time for both of you to talk. Turning it into segments where you talk about it here and there may put strain on both of you.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2016 6:00am
Conversing is very important in a relationship. Talk to him about how you feel when he ignores you..
MohitMehta
April 22nd, 2016 8:05pm
Just give some privacy to him and then sort out the matter by discussing the life with each other. It will help
HereToHelpYou742
May 25th, 2016 12:57am
Let him be give him about 15 min then talk to him if he still ignores you wait another 15 and do it over
Anonymous
May 27th, 2016 5:39am
Just before I got married, my male friends organized a bridal shower for me. During the shower, they have set up a game where each one presented a gift and a marital advice with that gift. One friend gave me earphones with an MP3 player and he said that I should just listen to music when there are times when men would just want to be left alone and given their space. It is nothing personal, they would just to have their own space sometimes and definitely would not want their wives to take it against them when they do this.
Lovernature24
June 10th, 2016 4:08am
Cook special menus for him..specially ones he love.try to stay calm and active too ..just say what he wants
allnaturalUnicorns70
July 7th, 2016 6:24pm
There are lots of ways of dealing with it. You can fight him or demand attention (not usually effective). You can try and understand why he is ignoring you (what's going on in his mind or his life, what is he feeling). You can come straight to him and try and speak in a compassionate way and bring your concern to his attention. Another option is to just be polite to him and live life as best as you can without his attention.
blitheSun94
July 15th, 2016 11:45pm
This has been a struggle close to my own heart. When I feel ignored by my husband it makes me incredibly unhappy. I feel invalidated and disrespected. Ultimately, I feel my needs are not being met and have even been guilty of second guessing the whole marriage. The most important thing here is to try various forms of communication. Maybe your words are incorrect, or your delivery is all wrong. This has been so difficult for me personally because I feel as though I HAVE communicated in all the mature ways an adult can do so, and STILL see none of the action or proactivity I expect from my partner. When in doubt, it also helps to get a third opinion.