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What to do when you have basically gives everything to help your family and they keep on expecting more like it wasn't enough?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 06/28/2021 at 10:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
AppleBlossom80
August 24th, 2020 10:08am
It is so frustrating when we feel we have given so much of ourselves, only to find it goes unnoticed or is completely unappreciated. This hurts even more when it is family members who seem oblivious to your efforts, as they are the ones who we feel we should be able to rely on to recognise our endeavours. Sitting with our own frustration is damaging to our mental health and so steps should be taken to resolve the issue or give yourself some relief. Perhaps talking calmly and openly with those involved about how you feel might help to get things off your chest. You may find that they genuinely hadn't noticed, perhaps they were consumed with difficulties of their own. Sometimes awareness needs a little nudge. Unfortunately, people, even family, can't always be relied on to listen and take note of our feelings. If you talking calmly with family doesn't make a difference to the situation, perhaps instead you need to take a step back. Have a breather and try a little self care. You can only do so much, and rarely can we please everyone at once. You may even find it is when you hold back a little that your previous efforts are noticed. Good luck.
Anonymous
June 28th, 2021 10:50pm
I'm so sorry that you feel this way. It must have been putting a lot of weight on you, thinking about how much you have devoted and done but for your family it seems not enough. What do they really expect from you, and what does it mean to you ? If you have thought about these questions, how about your family, do they get what you think and how you feel? If so, what is it? It is nice to clear things up before jumping to coping methods, as we tend to make presumptions which might turn out to be not totally the same and it is normal. If the case becomes mutual understanding, then I'm happy for you. If it turns out to be yes none of your family member think you are giving them enough, then how do you feel about stopping providing or continuing giving as before? What is the worst case scenario , and what is the best? How this will impact your life? If you could have coping mechanisms, what would they be? Another perspective is the A-B-C theory. A (this situation, for example )causes you think this way, and then makes you feel awful. Is it the A, or the way you think about A? This might not be a good answer, but just tying to provide another point of view.