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How do we forgive people that mislead us maybe intentionally or by accident?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 05/28/2018 at 10:18pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
March 10th, 2017 3:05pm
It is easier to forgive someone if we believe their actions were accidental but it can be harder if they intentionally wanted to mislead/hurt us. Think of forgiveness as something that is beneficial to you and not all about them! Holding onto anger and sadness only hurts us and affects our mental health, it also gives that person a level of control over us still, even if they're not in our lives. It may be useful to check out this guide -
May 16th, 2017 7:56am
What helps me lessen bitterness is thinking why those people might have ended up doing those things. None of us choose to be born on this planet, and we go through experiences we didn't choose. Those life experiences (and genetics etc.) shape the person we become. This raises a question - do people have full control over how they end up behaving in situation X? Perhaps not. Living this pretty chaotic life easily results in us making bad choices, even being hurtful to one another. This perspective helps me when I'm angry or disappointed in someone, or myself.
January 29th, 2018 4:58pm
Be compassionate and understanding. If it was by accident you can just forget, if it was intentionally do your best to forgive
May 28th, 2018 10:18pm
The act of forgiveness is for us not for them. It enables us to go forward rather then get stuck in the past.