Forgiving ourselves can be one of the hardest things to do in this life, so it is perfectly okay to feel overwhelmed or stressed over this. If you find that you tend to push everyone away, take a step back and try to reflect on why you did that. Was it because you knew you couldn't trust them? Was it because you were afraid of hurting them? Was it because you didn't want to get into a relationship at the moment? Whatever the reasons may be, it's important to identify them so you can take the proper steps to forgive yourself. Don't beat yourself up over something you did impulsively or out of habit, it's in the past. You can make your future the most amazing and fulfilling place if you start to forgive yourself. We are all only human, we are going to make mistakes. Mistakes can be fixed with dedication, time, and forgiveness. Don't be afraid to tell any of these people you are sorry for pushing them away and don't be shy about telling them you are trying to make a change. Relationships can be saved as long as both members have forgiveness and trust for each other. Talking to other people about how you are trying to change so you can live your best life is going to give them some comfort and trust towards you. Forgive yourself for pushing people away, you can always break old habits. Beating yourself up over what happened in the past isn't healthy; remember that the past is a good place to seek lessons to learn, but a bad place to live in. You can do this, just remember your motivation and goals for wanting to change. Write things down, do things creative or active, find a way to express yourself. It will help you to build confidence and to forgive yourself. Once you begin to gain more self-love and self-confidence, you'll be able to move on and live an amazing-er life! You can do this! I believe in you! I know you can forgive yourself and I know you are going to live amazingly! Good luck!!
Pushing everyone away is usually because , you need space and you can’t always explain it to people!! I understand you must have had tough life and situations that got you to push people no matter what reason it was. Perhaps they got so hurt from it too, you may hold regrets? but if you want them back try to explain the situation to them, if they “truly care” they will try to understand you. Another thing you trying fixing this may help you forgive yourself but first you have to try and put some effort in this because honestly nothing is easy. And nothing lasts forever WE LEARN from out past so get your future to be bright don’t get stuck with your past let it be but you make a better version of yourself.
Unfortunately, sometimes our mental health issues can make it difficult to feel good about ourselves and see our worth through other peoples eyes. When we're at our worst, sometimes pushing everyone away can feel like a mercy on them, even though it's at this time we probably need them the most. But if we are to forgive ourselves for doing this, we first must accept that we are human, and likely afraid. We make mistakes, often in what we think is the name of wanting the best for others, but most this likely reflects how we actually feel about ourselves. We then don't mean ill to others, but to ourselves. Accepting this, and accepting whatever challenges led you to feel this way about yourself with the same warmth and compassion as you'd offer others, can eventually help you understand and forgive yourself for pushing others away.