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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
February 14th, 2015 7:11pm
Make one up! That's how we got the labels we already have -- people realized there wasn't a simple way to explain their feelings, so they came up with a word to describe it. Others who felt the same found the word, and thus it spread. Labels are made to fit how people feel. There can never truly be enough labels to fully encompass all human feelings, unless there was a label for each individual person. You can also look at labels like quoi, fluid, and flux if you haven't already. Conversely, don't go by any label at all. You don't need a label if you don't want one, or if there isn't one you feel comfortable identifying with. Not having a label doesn't make your feelings and experiences any less valid than anyone else's.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2015 5:05pm
Then it's okay! You shouldn't rely on labels to define yourself. You are you, and if there isn't a word to group you in then you're also unique!
Anonymous
December 1st, 2015 8:21pm
there doesn't have to be a label! you define you! you need to be comfortable enough with yourself first - and if a label is important to you, it will come eventually
No label defines me which means I am unique and therefore very special a meant for special things in this life!!
That's okay. You don't need a label to define you. As long as your happy then it doesn't matter what you are.
You don't need a label. If everyone had a label that fitted them perfectly, there would be as many labels as there are people in the world. Just because you can't define yourself by a word that describes a majority doesn't mean anything is wrong.
Labels mean absolutely nothing! You shouldn't care about labels! You're unique and that's fine! You don't need something that means nothing! :)
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2017 11:12pm
Then that's okay too. You can be you, and unapologetically so. Love whomever, and express yourself however you want. You don't need a label to be valid. If someday you find a label that's fine, but people, try so hard that they try to fit something that they're not and begin to lose sight of the happiness that comes with accepting yourself in all of your idiosyncrasies. As has been said, to define is to limit.
It's ok: we do not necessarily have to label ourselves! You can just be who you are without having to define yourself with a label. There is a certain freedom and richness in being so peculiar that you can't just put a label on you.
That's totally fine. Why do you need a label? You are you, and there is really nothing that can accurately define that. You know who you are, and I think that's more than any label can give you.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2018 1:32am
Then you're just you. Labels should only help if you find one that makes you comfortable, like a pair of socks. If they don't, then you don't have to wear them.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2018 7:04am
The one question I would ask myself is.... Do I need a label to define me? I'm I not unique in every single wat? The answer is always within ourself
Then there's no label, simple as that. You're a girl who likes girls but doesn't like being called a lesbian? Perfectly ok. A non-binary who loves all genders but doesn't want to be known as Pansexual? That's alright too. Honestly, even for me having no label makes more sense (I just say I'm a queer boy when people ask), and if there's no label for you because you can't find one that fits just right or that you feel comfortable with, then no label is needed, my good friend. Hope this helps you even a little bit, stay alive and I love you.
That's perfectly okay! Personally, I have struggled with labeling myself in the past but I have found that labels are not meant to be constricting, but rather help you find your way. If you can't find a label that defines you, that is fine.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2018 11:49pm
If there is no label that you feel completely fits you then that's ok because labels are not necessary. Sometimes a label might help you know where you feel you belong within the lgbtq+ community but know that others will totally understand if you can't put that label on yourself.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2018 5:52pm
You don’t need a label in order to be who you are. If you can’t find a label that accurately describes you you don’t need to have one or even if there is a label that would describe you, you still don’t need to use it. What matters the most is that you’re being true to yourself and doing what/being who makes you happy. A label is just a way that you can describe how you feel to others but it isn’t something necessary. Being who you are is enough and there doesn’t have to be a label to describe it for you to be valid.
Anonymous
October 29th, 2019 7:50pm
Not everyone finds a label that fits them, and this isn't a bad thing. For example, many people do not feel like they 'fit' certain labels because of social constructs and stereotypes. This means that a lot of people identify with acute labels that not many people know about such as grey gender. It doesn't matter if you don't find a label that defines you for any aspect of your life, anyway labels are for jars not people, as one of my idols once said. So, to conclude, only label yourself if you are fully confident that it fits you, because it's a lot harder to take back a label than it is to give yourself one. So perhaps you just don't have a label, and that is totally fine, or maybe you do have one and you just haven't found it yet, whatever the answer I wish you the best of luck.
Labels are not a way to define yourself. Only you know how you truly are and should turn to society's "labels" to tell you how to be. Labels are meant for organization and objects, not for your beautiful personality. You should never restrict yourself to a label because you always want to live life outside of the box. Set yourself different from others and show your worth in life. Everyone is unique in their own way and never let a label bring you down. If you really want a label, set a new one out for yourself. Nobody should tell you who you should be!
Anonymous
October 19th, 2020 10:11pm
it’s perfectly okay to not have a label. labeling yourself is opinionated and some people just are more comfortable with a label, and the opposite is great too. even some celebrities don’t label themselves too, like singers harry styles and clairo. you aren’t alone in this. i know in my own personal experience, before i defined myself as bisexual i was unlabeled for an entire year and a half. and i was even confused, i was just confortable with not having a label and was happy with it too.
Well, the only label defining your true self is "ME". A big "ME" over your heart because you are not a estatic being that can be tagged. You are a self-conscious evolving being and you can be whatever you want. Don't try to define yourself!
Anonymous
February 9th, 2016 11:38pm
Going with a label is not something for everyone. If you feel like no label defines you, you can smash some labels together, or just go label-less. Both are completely valid.
Most things exist on a continuum whereas labels are a dichotomy so it makes sense that no label would fully define you.
Anonymous
November 25th, 2015 4:16pm
There doesn't have to be lables to fit you nessesarily, you define lables, not the other way around.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2015 3:39am
Great! You are a unique individual! You are doing A-Okay! :D
The only necessary label is 'human'. Everything else is down to simple variation. Labels are not necessary to the human experience and who you are needn't be summarised by a word.
You don't need to be restricted to labels, it is more of a personal preference, but do whatever suits you!
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2015 7:40pm
That is completely ok. Labels are not required to live a happy life. Some people use them, others don't.
:)
Then that's perfectly okay- you don't need to bind yourself within anything other than who YOU feel you are. You might not fit into a label because you're not a one in a million kind of person- you're a once in a lifetime kind of person!
Do you really need a label? If not, that's okay. You are you. If you want a label, then you can create your own!!
That's wonderful! That means you are completely unique! Sometimes it takes courage to be unique, to stand out from the crowd. Sometimes you feel alone and cast out. We all feel this way sometimes. If you feel like you need a label, you can always call yourself Human. A son or daughter or friend. A brother or sister or cousin.... you can be many things. You can be ANYTHING!
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