Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why is my daughter a lesbian?

135 Answers
Last Updated: 11/27/2019 at 5:30am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Cassandra Coleman-Heppler, LCSW, LICSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I believe that problems are separate from the person having them and that our own stories and how we look at our own stories directly influences how we perceive those problems

Top Rated Answers
August 19th, 2015 11:01pm
Because that is a choice that goes down well for her, and as long as she is capable of loving someone, it can't be that bad, right? Just, whatever you do, don't be judgemental - only we can decide how to create our happiness and that is the only right way.
August 20th, 2015 3:16pm
Because she likes girls. There is no why or "how can change it". My friend always tells me that love is irrational. I think that is spot on in your case. If you love somebody you disregard gender and superficial things such as looks and appearance.
August 20th, 2015 11:44pm
Because she was born that way. There's quite literally no other reason, unless you'd go into biological details of course. Nothing changes though, she's still your same daughter. In the future you'll only end up with an additional daughter (in-law) instead of a son (in-law) :)
August 21st, 2015 6:41am
Because she finds happiness and attraction in and towards the same sex. To put it simply if it makes her happy, don't question it because her happiness is key c:
August 21st, 2015 4:59pm
There isn't answer to that question. She just is and that's normal and as a parent all you have to do is accept her and support her.
August 26th, 2015 12:03pm
That seems to be like asking, "why is my daughter a redhead", nothing happened to make her that way, she just IS a redhead or ......a lesbian.
August 28th, 2015 9:35pm
Because hats the way she wants to live as. As we grow older, we become aware of what we like and don't like. It's not an offence to be gay yknow
August 30th, 2015 9:40am
Your daughter is a lesbian because she has an attraction to the same sex as her own. It is not a personal choice, it is how she has been growing up, being attracted to girls.
September 2nd, 2015 3:34am
Your daughter is a lesbian because she is attracted to girls. She likes girls. It has nothing to do with what kind of parent you are, and it doesn't reflect back on you. It's just who she is, and it's not a bad thing.
September 2nd, 2015 2:03pm
Because she was born that way, or events in her past led to this outcome. There are many reasons why this could be so. Nevertheless, I feel this still doesn't change who she ultimately is inside her :)
September 3rd, 2015 10:24am
There is not really an answer to that. Your daughter is just who she is. Most people think it's just the way people are born, which is what I think.
September 4th, 2015 4:11pm
because she was born this way. she has no opportunity on changing her sexuality because that's not how it works. it's also not how she CHOSE to live, she just does.
September 5th, 2015 4:19pm
Your daughter is a lesbian because human sexuality it complicated and even now, in a time when we can put people on the moon, we're still unsure about why some people are attracted to people of the same sex and other people prefer to be with someone of a different sex. People of all social classes and upbringings and races can identify as any sexuality and that's okay.
September 8th, 2015 5:48pm
Because she is. Love her for whatever she is, be it gay or straight. She's still your daughter at the end of the day.
September 10th, 2015 2:38pm
Being a lesbian is completley natural. You are either gay, bisexual, straight, etc. when you are born. It just comes out at puberty.
September 10th, 2015 2:39pm
Your daughter is a lesbian because that is the sexuality she was born with. It is important that you be supportive of her sexuality
September 11th, 2015 4:15am
Your daughter has discovered that she is attracted to women. She was born this way, and is likely at an age where she's discovering things about herself she didn't know. Please know that she is still your daughter. Her sexual orientation changes nothing about her person. If she's at a younger age, like early-to-mid teens, she's going to need the help of someone close to her. She's going to need someone to stand by her. Who better than her parents?
September 12th, 2015 3:51am
She may be born that way. Some people just prefer one gender over another. According to some statistics, one in every ten people in this country and around the world is gay. Therefore, approximately one in four families has an immediate family member who is gay, lesbian or bisexual, and most families have at least one gay, lesbian or bisexual member in their extended family circle. That means that there are plenty of people out there you can talk to. Your child is the same person he or she was yesterday. The only thing you have lost is your own image of that child and the understanding you thought you had, and that may not be so bad. Think about it, she trusts you enough to give out that valuable, personal information about herself. Nothing has changed except her getting out the truth and feeling comfortable. To get more information, or just talk to other parents like you visit the PFLAG official website, at: . You are not the only parent with a LGBT+ child, don't feel alone.
September 12th, 2015 6:10pm
Whether is your daughter a lesbian or not, it's not her choice. Even if she didn't want to be lesbian, there wouldn't be much to do. Lesbians, gays, etc. are born that way and we must accept and love them the same way we would want them to treat us
September 13th, 2015 3:48pm
she has her likes and dislikes..its her wish if she wants to fall for a person of the same sex or not :) but be happy that she is with someone whom she loves :)
September 15th, 2015 5:26pm
This isn't a question that can really be answered. There's usually not a reason for someone to identify as a lesbian, other than the fact that they find themselves attracted to girls over guys.
September 16th, 2015 7:25pm
Because that is the sexuality that she is most able to relate too. She feels as though she is able to be more romantic with females then males. And honestly I agree its completely normal.
September 17th, 2015 3:06pm
There is no way that you can actually find answer to that question. Being a lesbian does not mean being different. It's your daughter's own choice and honestly I think that lesbians are very much the part of our society as the rest of us.
September 17th, 2015 9:02pm
There's no reason for it. It's just the way she is. And there's nothing wrong with it at all. As long as she's happy it doesn't matter.
September 18th, 2015 1:02pm
You're daughter is lesbian because she likes girls and not boys.
September 19th, 2015 9:40pm
She was born that way. People are born their sexualities, and you can't change who someone is. You are born gay/lesbian/trans/any other sexual orientation or gender.
September 20th, 2015 9:32am
She is a lesbian she was born that way, plain and simple. It is not a choice, it is the way she is.
September 21st, 2015 7:29am
Sexuality is a tough topic to tackle. She's a lesbian because of a thousand possible reasons. In my personal experience, I am a lesbian because no one understands women like women, so therefore, I pursue women. I am attracted to people that know what I feel and relate to me in so many ways, as a woman. Your daughter may or may not feel the same way as I do, but that reason is very common among homosexuals. If you accept your daughter's sexuality, then it's best not to question it. She's a lesbian because she's a lesbian :)
September 24th, 2015 7:25am
Because she likes girls. Simple as that. There is nothing you, or anyone can do that can change that fact, and so you may as well accept her for it.
September 24th, 2015 5:10pm
Your daughter is a lesbian because that is her sexuality preference. Support her in that. It took her LOTS of courage to come out.