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Why is my daughter a lesbian?

135 Answers
Last Updated: 11/27/2019 at 5:30am
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United States
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Christina Hussami, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Strengths-based, solution-focused therapist focusing on helping clients find life balance and navigating down their own path leading towards overall well-being.

Top Rated Answers
November 6th, 2015 10:18pm
No one knows the real answer but her. Some women feel as if guys are a threat to them or some just find that women are better companions than men. No matter the circumstances show her that you love her and will always support her decisions.
November 14th, 2015 5:10pm
Your daughter can't choose her sexuality. It's something she was born with and she can't change that
November 15th, 2015 6:55am
It's simply just a matter of who she's attracted to. It's not necessarily something she can control, either. There isn't anything behind it either, about why. It's just who she likes.
November 15th, 2015 5:04pm
Currently no-one truly understands how sexual orientation comes about and develops. The most we can say at the moment is that it is probably determined by a mixture of genetics and environmental influences. Sexual orientation is certainly not a choice that your daughter will have made - it is just a part of who she is.
November 15th, 2015 6:23pm
Ok, it's something biological, and there is nothing wrong with being gay. What you should do is support your daughter, show how much you love her
November 15th, 2015 8:02pm
There is no reasoning behind any sexuality. All sexualities are natural. Please respect your daughter no matter who she is attracted to.
November 18th, 2015 11:33pm
People have different sexual orientations :) It is not a choice. It basically just is the way it is. We do not choose what gender we like, what person we fall for, or what feelings we have for one person or what feelings we perhaps don't have for another person.
November 19th, 2015 3:58am
I don't think there should be a reason, it's not something that you can choose. If your daughter is a lesbian the best thing you can do is support her and show her that you will love her no matter what.
November 20th, 2015 7:41pm
Because she was born this way. There's nothing bad about being a lesbian, and that doesn't make her less of a person.
November 21st, 2015 12:46pm
In my culture, most girls who are lesbians become so because their parents were so strict and never let them hangout with boys, naturally, they started hanging out with girls so much that they started attaching my intimate feelings with girls.
November 21st, 2015 9:27pm
She was born a lesbian and there is absolutely nothing wrong with her being a lesbian. It is honestly by birth, not choice, that people are gay, lesbian, trans, or any sexuality really. Just show love and compassion for your daughter and she'll be perfectly normal.
November 26th, 2015 6:21am
Different people have different interest, Just because their interest and liking is different from the majority in society does not mean that something is wrong with them. Find out where your daughter is coming from and why did she make this choices.
November 26th, 2015 10:37pm
There really isn't any reason in particular why your daughter is a lesbian. She was simply born that way, it's who she is and there isn't anything wrong with that.
November 27th, 2015 6:21am
Your daughter is a lesbian because she was born a lesbian. It is who she is. It has nothing to do with your parenting style, choices, or anything you have done. She didn't make a choice either and this wasn't caused by anything she or anyone else did. She is still the wonderful, beautiful daughter you raised her to be :)
November 28th, 2015 2:45am
Being attracted to the female gender is something she feels that is apart of her whether it is a real attraction or not because she feels like it is. It is important to her.
December 2nd, 2015 1:21am
Because she is made to be that way, not because she chooses to. I would encourage an open mind and an encouraging and welcoming heart.
December 2nd, 2015 4:26pm
Everyone is different, and same-gender relationships are becoming more and more common. If she is a lesbian, it means it has been her decision to be one. Usually, individuals who feel that they might oriented this way seek professional help or ask for help from their parents if they find these feelings wrong. If your daughter decided that this is the way she feels and that she doesn't find it wrong, it becomes just another ordinary part of her life that she accepts even though others might see it differently.
December 2nd, 2015 9:33pm
Because she is attracted to females only, which is perfectly normal because love is love no matter what race, gender ect.
December 4th, 2015 12:29am
i hope you know that this is not a choice that she has made; she just doesn't like boys - it is a chemical thing within the brain.
December 4th, 2015 1:12am
No one really knows why some people and gay or lesbians. But you can be sure it wasn't her choice and also be sure it has nothing to do with her being a better or a worse person. Show her your love despite of her sexuality
December 6th, 2015 11:53pm
Because she is attracted to females. It might be her opinions on gender or something that happened in the past that impacted her.
December 22nd, 2015 11:10pm
Because she was born that way. She has probably labored through her decision in sexuality a lot, and it didn't come overnight. But, she has eventually embraced who she truly is, and you should, too. :) Best of luck!
January 5th, 2016 3:02am
Not everyone is going to be interested in the same things. Your daughter may lack attraction to the opposite gender. You should support her on this. We love who we want to love :)
January 25th, 2016 11:40pm
She is a lesbian because she was born that way. When i told my parents i was gay i was terrified and so scared of rejection, the support i got from them and the positive things they said to me really helped shape who i am and us very close. Your daughter needs your support and guidance during this difficult time in her life.
February 22nd, 2016 8:21pm
There is no answer for this, honestly. There is no solid "why" to sexual preferences. Some can speculate that it was upbringing or genetics or whatever else could possibly play into it, but there is no certain reason. She is because she is. That's really all anyone can say. And I know that's not what you're hoping to hear because I'm guessing you are having a difficult time understanding it and are wanting to better understand the causes, but... there just aren't concrete causes for this. If you are wanting to gain a better understanding, maybe it would be helpful for you to talk with your daughter, in a non-threatening environment, and discuss it. Maybe she has ideas? Maybe you could learn something from her.
April 19th, 2016 5:33pm
Being LGBTQ+ is not a decision, they were born with it. You should be supportive of your daughter considering this could be a very difficult thing for her to be going through right now.
May 17th, 2016 4:08pm
She is who she is. It's just the way she was born, you cannot change her, you must learn to accept her fully.
June 6th, 2016 4:30pm
Your daughter likes girls. There's nothing that can change that. Just like how people are straight, they like what they like. There is nothing wrong with that.
June 7th, 2016 5:23pm
There is no exact reason why. Some people think it's biological, others think it is a state of mind. Whichever case this might be, she is your daughter.
August 15th, 2016 8:19pm
Because she was born like that, just like you may like a woman or a man, she decided that what she likes are woman and it's totally normal.