How do I cope with the thoughts of why I am adopted?

I would imagine that the worries of adoption would be concerned with why your birth parents would want to put you up for adoption. I can imagine that that would make you feel unloved or deficient, like they gave you away because they were unsatisfied. There was nothing deficient about you then, and there is nothing deficient about you now. There are so many things that would cause a mother to need to give away her child, but all of them have to do with selflessly giving them so that they may have a better life, rather than giving them a stunted life. A mother does not go through the labor of pregnancy and giving birth to reject them for no reason; a mother's love is much stronger than that. And even if that was true, you are loved now.... It doesn't matter your past or your true birth parents, you are loved!

Adoption often is seen in a bad light, when in facts it's actually a beautiful human creation. Children who have been abandoned or have been in other circumstances have a chance for a happy life. Try looking at it this way :)

Remind yourself everyday that you are important, relevant, unique- that you are loved. That life is a journey, a story suited for each individual with twists and turns that lead you to a beautiful end. The beginning, where you come from does not matter. It is the path you take and where you end up that truly matters.

You should look at the brighter side. The people who have you as one of their own, the people who love you and the people who deeply care for you. Try to think of the advantages and try to see that you're indeed very lucky because there are thousands of orphaned who haven't even been adopted. They don't have a family.

Just think that there could be 100 of reasons why your parents didn't keep you: being unstable, depressed, not feeling strong enough for raising a child, wanting better future for child, financial issues, low self esteem, single mom etc. The problem hasn't been in you but in your parents. It doesn't make you any less as somebody raised by there parents. As well parent doesn't mean always the biological parent but any other adult who have loved, cared and raised the child. So, you belong to the new family, they are not biological by they actions your parents. Helping to understand your parents will help you forgive. Parent who is healthy, happy physically and mentally would never give a child away. So, try to forgive and that will make less of being adopted. I hope I answered a little to your questions, take care! S.

Hello! I think one of the most important things to remember about being adopted is that the parents that raise you now chose you; they chose to love you and to nurture you into someone that they're proud of. For sure, raising a child takes a lot of time, patience, and resources, and your parents decided that you are worth every single second of hardship they face and every single bite of food they feed you, and it's important to remember that even though your biological parents may not have been able to provide you with the life you have now, you have parents that love you and care for you.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time dealing with being adopted. If you haven't already done therapy, I would highly recommend going. Adopted kids can have a huge void and overwhelming feelings. It can cause all kinds of other issues in your life. I hope you have a great adoptive family. As the above poster said, you should make peace with the fact that you did not do anything wrong and it's not about who you are (or were). My brother and my best friend were both adopted and I know they both felt abandoned and pained. I felt bad for him & guilty at times cuz I wasn't adopted. But I know how much our parents love him. I don't know how old you are, but, hopefully you'll get someone to talk to before this feeling gets overwhelming. My brother had an overeating disorder and best friend had anorexia. These were things they felt they could "control" in their lives since they couldn't control being given up for adoption. I'm sure you are loved and wish you the best of luck!