Why does keeping blades make me anxious, but getting rid of them also makes me anxious?

Cutting is like an addiction like how drugs are. Throwing them away and getting anxious is just a symptom of withdrawal. Having the blade with you will only intensify and make your sensations worse

Keeping blades could make you anxious because you're scared that someone might find them and who knows what could happen after that happens. Or you're scared that if they're there you might use them again. On the other hand, getting rid of them takes away your option to use them. Like what if you really feel the need to use them but there's nothing there

Likely because using blades has come as a form of relief in the past, but you're also aware that it's not an adaptive way to deal with your emotions. They may have helped you feel better in a time of deep emotional pain, but you may also have guilt or shame after using them if your family and friends saw, or you personally don't want to use it as a coping mechanism. However, getting rid of them also causes anxiety because, however maladaptive, using blades in the past made you feel better, and you don't want to get rid of your source of emotional relief. The best advice I can give: create a list of positive coping mechanisms - journaling, bubble baths, a list of friends you can call - and pull that out when you're in distress. Your brain will start to associate those as what you do to make yourself feel better, then when you're ready to get rid of the blades once and for all, it won't cause anxiety.