Why is it so difficult to disagree with my boss even when I am sure she is wrong?
Last Updated: 11/06/2017 at 10:15pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
Your boss has power over you and disagreeing with her therefore makes you feel vulnerable for very sensible reasons. The trick in disagreeing from a vantage point of less power is to try to help your boss see what she is wrong about by leading her to discover it in her own terms. Maybe by asking questions or by simply saying that you need to understand how to reconcile the one thing she is saying now with the contradictory evidence or information from elsewhere or from her at another time. This is not easy! Allow yourself to feel anxious about it and listen to your inner voice that tells you to tread carefully with your boss or anyone with power over you!
Well, there are power dynamic at play in this situation; in principle, you are your boss' subordinate and she is your superior. I am just guessing, but perhaps you are worried about what your boss' reaction might be if you disagree with her, and the implications of her reaction for your working relationship. Perhaps you might want to let her know you disagree in a more delicate way, by e.g. proposing your view as just one possible alternative, as opposed to substituting it as the "right" to her "wrong". It is not clear whether you want to "disagree" with her, or "correct" her, but perhaps you might want to avoid the latter and focus on methods for how you can assert yourself and respectfully disagree with your boss.
I have found that it is a matter of confronting authority. The necessity to please our superiors sometimes outweighs our thoughts of right and wrong. It is important to make sure that the proper decisions are made in the work place even if it makes you uncomfortable to express your opinion.
Point of view differs. You consider yourself inferior to her . That the only reason for it. Some times you should be capable enough to show or display your wisdom to your superiors.
Sometimes people find it difficult to disagree with people they admire, or people they look up to. This can cause confusion because you know one thing, but you feel another.
It is difficult to disagree with your boss because you might be worried about job security or the possibility that your boss could make your working life a living hell if you get on the wrong side of them. This is why most employees try to stay in their employer's good books.
This can be seen from the perspective from a professional approach and respect their opinion. There are ways to work out the differences in a professional manner.
It can often feel like you cannot disagree with people higher up than you at work due to a fear of reprimand or that your disagreement will fall on deaf ears.
Maybeyou like her, its hard to disagrre with someone you crush on
Saying No is very important in life. Saying NO is mostly difficult as we always want everyone to like us. We are scared of our opinions. We are scared we will be judged and they may not accept our opinions. When we think something is not right, we should raise our voice. There are two things to address here. We should be sure of when to say NO and how to say it. Always explain why you say a no with proper reasons. Put it positively, not hurting the opinion of the other person.
Sometimes we have this mind set that they are our bosses and that we should respect their decisions. But it does not mean that they are always right. If you can come up with a reason and a back up as to why u think that your boss is wrong I suggest that you share your opinion with your boss and tell them that you will support them is the decision that they make but u also want to share your opinion and there is nothing wrong in doing so.
Because you feel she is superior to you, Because you feel you will be fired from your job, Because you feel she is holding all the power of authority. But sometimes it is best to agree even if she is wrong. (That depends upon the mentality of the boss) There is nothing as such she is superior than you. May be in the Office but in the outside we are all same humans who is craving for basic needs, there is a quote "No one is superior than you and no one is inferior than you" . But in the Corporate World no one has the guts to face the problem that will occur once we raised the voice against the wrong, and you can tell her she is wrong if it is, there is no harm in telling and if she is not taking it well its better to leave the company then to be a slave.
That is a normal part of our relationships at work. I find that talking through the concerns always helps. Ask her to explain her reasoning. Really listen to what she says. She may have different information or a different take on the topic at hand. When you respond to her tell her which of her points were accurate, and then tell her your perception on the topic. Open up a conversation that is built on respect and subject matter knowledge.
You are the expert on you. Some people may find it easier or harder to disagree with your boss. What are the challenges for you? When has disagreeing gone well? When has it gone poorly? Is there a way you can rephrase your disagreement to sound like an agreement with a twist? Some bosses do not take criticism well, and personally I do not believe they are good bosses if they can't. We cannot control what someone else says, does, thinks, or how they react, and it is not our responsibility or our fault if we are phrasing ourselves as logical, mature adults, and they react poorly, especially in a professional environment. You may have an HR rep you can discuss this with, a suggestion box, or your boss may have a boss you can reach out to. There may be federal bureaus you can reach out to if laws or rights are being broken at your employment. Otherwise, you may want to ask yourself: is it worth it for me to care about this company's success as much as I do given that my observations have gone unheeded?
Your boss has a sense of authority and power that makes it hard for you to disagree, and that's completely normal for someone with a lower position.
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