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How can I deal with being blamed for things that aren't my fault?

89 Answers
Last Updated: 08/29/2021 at 5:58pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Monique Thompson, LPC, LPC-S

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am in my 21st year as a psychotherapist. I have worked with over 3, 000 people over the course of my career.

Top Rated Answers
November 2nd, 2014 3:30pm
Practice self-care. Unfortunately there will be times when you are unfairly blamed for situations but the important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself and love yourself - despite what is being thrown at you. Take time each day to do something for you and not let others negatively impact the wonderful person that you are (and you are!!). This is a fun website full of ideas and information on ways to be compassionate to yourself.
November 18th, 2014 7:06am
Sometimes life isn't fair and you have to accept things you can't change, you know the truth and that's what matters the most, but sometimes you have to speak up and defend yourself
December 18th, 2014 1:25am
At some point in life you will be blamed for something that isn't your fault. I have experienced that sometimes you have just take a deep breath, plead your case, and if the person still does not believe you apologize that they feel that way and move on.
January 2nd, 2015 7:30pm
From personal experience, the best thing is to keep the knowledge of knowing that the things you're being blamed for aren't your fault. Have you tried talking to whoever is blaming you to try and see if you can get them to see your side of the story? I know this is hard or can be hard to deal with. All the best to you!
May 8th, 2015 3:23pm
I spent most of my childhood dealing with my older brother, who is a year older than me. Back then, everything he did got pushed onto me and I was getting the blame for EVERYTHING. I realised as the same thing kept happening every single time, I would just take it like a man and get over it, take my punishment. However, now we're adults, my parents have recently found out that it was my brother all along purely because of whats happening now (We've both moved out of mum and dads. My brother visits sometimes when I'm not there and the stuff that was happening as a child, is happening when he is home). So thats how they found out, they all apologised to me. The lesson is, if you can, just take it and hopefully it will work out for the best. -Anonymous, Personal Experience.
March 18th, 2015 12:55pm
Tell the truth and explain your side with complete honesty. Let others know that you are innocent and talk openly
October 16th, 2016 9:42pm
Evaluate the situation. Identify your actions and take responsibility for your actions. If it is possible, let the other person know that you empathize with their feelings and express to them your intentions. You can even apologize for the issue of miscommunication and that you are sorry they are feeling that way. If they are not willing or open to hearing you out, that is their decision. Just feel good in knowing that you did the best that you can do to rectify the situation. You can not make people trust you, they have to be willing to do that on their own. You should not take it upon yourself to consistently prove your innocence to someone.
December 24th, 2014 4:22am
I'm very sorry you have to experience this. If you can stand up against it and confront the person, that would be great! But if you have no intention for confrontation, try to find someone whom you can talk to. It is not an easy thing to be responsible of things you did not do.
September 29th, 2014 7:13am
Well, if it really isn't your fault, then you don't have to be bothered so much. You can tell the people blaming you the real story, and if they still wouldn't believe you, it's fine. At least you know that you are telling the truth. :)
November 18th, 2016 6:09pm
If you know in your heart that those things aren't your fault, do the best thing for yourself (and the absolute hardest!) and walk away from whatever or whoever is blaming you. Truth is the one thing that survives after all time and recriminations are past. Trying to engage in a campaign of proving yourself can be fruitless but you can continue to do the right thing; people will always decide for themselves about a person, regardless of what they might be fed...stay true to yourself, don't play the same game as your accusers and keep your head high.
February 29th, 2016 11:46pm
Learn to speak up for yourself when you feel like it's worth it. Evaluate each situation and see if you can accept the projected outcomes. If not, act accordingly,
May 3rd, 2017 1:05pm
Sometimes I have to tell myself that I am emotionally stronger than my accusers. If they need to believe that it is my fault, I can live with that. Everytime I then come face to face with my accuser, I feel stronger and stronger knowing their faulty thinking is what they rely on,
November 11th, 2016 7:24pm
When you're blamed for something that isn't your fault, at work for instance, it is important not to immediately point the blame on someone else. Chances are, the other person doesn't believe it was their fault either. At the same time, you don't want to accept the blame and stay quiet. The most respectful thing you can do for yourself and others is to say that you're willing and open to analyzing where things went wrong and to work together to fix it.
June 18th, 2015 2:30am
I realized that we are all only human, and that to be human is to make mistakes. Blaming someone for something they didn't do can happen to anyone, and the real goal to achieve in this situation is to be the bigger person, let the blame occur, and attempt to positively educate the individual afterwards on the reasons why you are not at fault.
May 30th, 2015 4:32am
there is something called as self. He/she knows its not my fault. better not to go beyond others words. keep in mind that things dont get better worryingg over that.. so just leave. be happy :) its your right to be happy. dont allow others to spoil that.
January 6th, 2017 3:57pm
You have to stick up for what you believe in, don't change your morals or attitude and respond with kindness, don't try too hard to prove that it is not your fault. Time will eventually prove the person in front of you that you did not lie
January 26th, 2017 6:56am
Remind yourself that it isn't your fault. You have to constantly tell yourself you are better than this, what they say is false, you are a good person, you've done nothing wrong, their words are meaningless, etc. It will hurt to be blamed for things, all you need is that reminder that it isn't true and it's okay to let it go.
March 3rd, 2017 7:47pm
Acknowledge that the people who blame you may have something going on too. You being blamed for something could be because that person doesn't want to take responsibility as something may have gone wrong in the past. You could talk to the person in a mannerly order and resolve it. 🙂
November 3rd, 2014 1:28am
What do you have control over in any part of your life or day to day activities, take a look and see
November 3rd, 2016 11:58am
Deep inhale. Deep exhale. Talk through it. Not every arguments to be replied by arguments. Act positively by saying "Maybe, I'm not 100% right, but you should rethink that I'm not 100% wrong either
March 16th, 2017 4:32pm
Try to not overthink. Remain calm and stay true to yourself. You yourself know that you are not at fault, so try to not let the negative situation cause negativity in other areas of your life.
April 14th, 2017 12:34am
The first thing you can do is to remind yourself that it wasn't your fault. It can be hurtful and make you feel confused when you are blamed for something that you didn't do. You can try talking to the person that blamed you in the first place and tell them how you feel. If they aren't willing to listen to you, the next step would be to take care of yourself. You can try and do things that will help you calm down, like maybe going on a short walk or painting. Being blamed for something that wasn't your fault can be disheartening because it feels like you can't even convince the person that blamed you that it wasn't your fault. The best thing you can do would be to give them a little time to cool off and then talk to them when they are a little more receptive.
December 4th, 2014 7:10am
You can tell yourself that you shouldn't blame yourself or feel bad for something that you know wasn't your fault. It is up to you depending on how much respect you have for yourself :)
August 22nd, 2016 3:25pm
You can confront them in an adult to adult way. Make i cant not To put the blame on them or they may feel defensive. You could accept that you are being blamed, and try to make whatever you are being blamed for right. Otherwise, you know in your heart that you didn't do it, and accept the fact that whomever blamed you isn't going to change their perspective and just go about your life.
September 21st, 2016 10:16am
You can discuss openly about them. If it doesn't solve the problem, just let go and move forward. People's blame doesn't determine or change who you are.
September 2nd, 2017 4:03pm
First of all, it's important to believe in yourself and truly know that it wasn't your fault. If some one is blaming you, you should try to make the other person understand the truth, in a calm and low tone, so that there isn't any room for fights or arguements.
October 15th, 2017 2:47pm
Simply, you can allow it to pass over you. Realize that you are being blamed. Realize that yes, this was wrong. And then let it go. This does not mean try to forget, or try to take your mind off of it. Just allow yourself to be upset if that's how it makes you feel, allow yourself to cry, and allow yourself to feel proud of yourself that you realize that it's wrong and you'd never do something like that to anybody. And then, let it pass. And allow yourself to be at peace.
October 20th, 2017 8:59pm
Believing in yourself and knowing you are 100% not in fault and explaining to the other person to believe what you are saying as you are being truthful. If they still disagree then walk away from negativity, surround yourself around positively!
December 8th, 2017 10:18pm
Through my experience, I feel the biggest thing you can do is not base your value or worth on the opinions of others. Remind yourself (constantly if need be) that whatever you're being blamed for is not your fault. Surround yourself with people who support you and hold you in positive regard.
March 31st, 2018 7:44am
Don't overreact or over panic. You know it is not your fault then don't worry have patience and be calm. Let the things happen but you maintain your will.