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7 cups is a sham

I have never had a positive conversation on here. I am so exhausted trying to talk to these listeners who either ignore me, are mean to me, or just ghost me. I already feel like the world doesn't want me, and this app has made things so much worse. I was really hopeful, but I feel such a deep despair now. I don't know what to do. I have nowhere to turn anymore.

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User Profile: Listener4you867
Listener4you867 July 22nd

@ResonantRadiance I am sorry that you have to go through this, if you want, you can vent with me freely, I am willing to hear you out

I'm so sorry 😞. If u are willing to share a little then we are open to hearing. Putting into words may help. If u need an emergency service pls go to outlive.com or any other survival helpline for immediate support.

User Profile: Remina
Remina July 26th

@ResonantRadiance

I am sorry to hear about your negative experiences on 7cups. I hope that you change your mind and keep trying here as I have met some great people on here x

1 reply

@Remina

I really agree with this ☺️❤️

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Listener kinda suck not gonna lie... They aren't a hotline... Or trained professionals... I'm here if you want to talk. I use this app purely for the community. I don't judge at all and I've been through a lot ❤️❤️❤️ you're valued

User Profile: JackalopesExist
JackalopesExist July 27th

Hey, I'm sorry to hear this has been your experience. 🫂

I've been here for a long time as a member and it can be really hit or miss. I have had some really wonderful, eye-opening, and even genuinely life-changing conversations here before, and I've also had some listeners who were able to talk me down from some really brutal rumination cycles and poor headspaces. I couldn't thank them enough for that.

On the other hand I've had listeners who were tone-deaf, shallow, insensitive, nice-but-not really equipped to meet me where I was at, or - a more recent addition - seemed to be using ChatGPT to respond to me. That one stings extra when AI is a big source of personal heartache and when if I'm here I need human connection, not to just talk to a bot with a thin wall in between. I really wish this site were stricter about stopping that behavior. (Obviously I don't mean using AI to help lightly with grammar and with language barriers, which can be reasonable - I specifically mean someone putting in my words one-for-one and getting a generic answer back with all ChatGPT's signature "speaking" mannerisms)

The good listeners make it worth coming back though, or otherwise I wouldn't have been on this site for close to a decade now. All you can really do is be patient and keep trying even if that sounds corny. If your first listener just isn't getting it, politely end the conversation and go again until you find someone who clicks with you. I've found what helps is that if it's not like, super urgent where you're just a couple steps short of crisis mode, try seeking a listener during weekends or evenings in your time zone when more people are on and not at work/asleep. I've also started asking my listeners if they're above a certain age and have lived experiences with [insert topic here] before giving a detailed summary of what's going on, just to have the best chance of talking to someone with an informed perspective and a similar amount of life experience.

5 replies
User Profile: Minimum00
Minimum00 July 27th

@JackalopesExist There's an AI's policy here. If you wish to know about the information, just message me, I'll give it. Aye, I'll just give the information, I'm not available to chat.

2 replies
User Profile: JackalopesExist
JackalopesExist July 27th

@HealingwithMinionn

Yes, I'd like to know if you're ok spelling it out here and not via chat. I skimmed the FAQ but wasn't able to find anything at a glance.

I know that using the chats is giving AI permission to see the convos and "improve the service" whatever that means in practice, so I don't suspect it's viewed wholly negatively. I don't feel great about that but it's a trade-off I've kinda just decided to accept when compared to the data and privacy strings attached to some alternative mental health services that I've looked into.

1 reply
User Profile: Minimum00
Minimum00 July 28th

@JackalopesExist Okay, I was on the phone with no link. Then I asked you to pm me for the link so it's easier to pop up. I've checked the notification more clearly. Here's the AI policy: Human Touch vs. AI on 7 Cups Learning and Development

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User Profile: ResonantRadiance
ResonantRadiance OP July 28th

I've had the feeling that some of them were bots... the idea they might be using AI makes sense to me. It made me feel like i was talking to a brick wall. It was almost worse than just being ignored because there was the pretense of conversation, which takes a lot of energy. Especially choosing to trust someone and being vulnerable. I have only had 1 really amazing conversation on here and she isn't here anymore. Too many tries in a row to count ending in frustration, grief, and anger at being treated with such coldness or judgement

1 reply
User Profile: Mallie217
Mallie217 July 28th

That a listener was a bot or that a member was a bot? I think I’ve seen cases of both but people turn a blind eye to the issue

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User Profile: Mallie217
Mallie217 July 27th

It’s also a sham becauae even for the good listeners out there, they do the bulk of the work that makes 7 Cups what it is but don’t get paid. The higher ups oversee everything and get paid for it all, especially for the work volunteers do to make the site better and what it is. Slimey

User Profile: FindingLight24
FindingLight24 July 27th

I feel so sorry about this. You don't have to feel that way. You can try other listeners too I hope someone would definitely help you out the way you're expecting.

1 reply
User Profile: ResonantRadiance
ResonantRadiance OP July 28th

I have. I've tried a lot. I can't count how many times in a row I've been ghosted, judged, insulted, or ignored. I'm exhausted trying.

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User Profile: GoldenRuleJG
GoldenRuleJG July 27th

I’ve had my fair share of both experiences too - some are able to attune to what I need and others not so much!

I do hope you find someone soon and sorry you’ve had poor experiences.

What we can only hope is that people grow and learn.

We cannot do the growing for others but for ourselves 🌸✨

User Profile: starlitxskies
starlitxskies July 27th

I’m sorry your experience has been bad so far ): 7 Cups has actually made my life a lot better and I’ve met a lot of respectful and kind people. I’d definitely love to talk to you unfortunately I’m not a listener 😔 but I hope you find the people you’re looking for. Talking to group chats is a great way to connect with other people so I highly suggest that. Doing the mindfulness path (forgot what it’s called xd) can also help you have a much more positive environment. Sending comfort and joy your way <3

3 replies
User Profile: starlitxskies
starlitxskies July 27th

Amanda bro who are you I see you everywhere 😭

2 replies
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 July 27th

@starlitxskies

I'm a listener and forum supporter , if you see me, I'm doing my job 🥰

1 reply
User Profile: starlitxskies
starlitxskies July 27th

Aaaaaah okay!!

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 July 27th

@ResonantRadiance

You are most welcome here and why not pop in and have a chat in the sharing circle, we'll treat you with kindness for sure 🧡

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