The situation of not being able to express how you feel program day 4

@cheerfulKiwi1776

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@cheerfulKiwi1776

Hi! Thanks for adding me to the taglist 💖

I can really relate to today's topic. I often stop myself from expressing cause I know I won't be able to explain or start crying.

I usually try this if I'm feeling down but I don't know why or how to express it-

"I cannot explain what i am feeling, but I am not feeling good right now. I am feeling really heavy and not in the mood to talk right now."

How's that? ❤‍🩹

Sometimes bcz I know I will cry and sometimes i fear what if I say the wrong things and sometimes bcz I don't want to be a burden on anyone

I don't know what i m feeling or how to explain. But it's so heavy and i m really tired of carrying everything alone( Maybe like this )

That's sometimes kinda true for me. I don't talk about things bothering me very often, but when I do, I try to speak with precision... Which doesn't always come immediately.

Heheh, an unedited rough draft from me? Well, you asked for it. 😁

"This mechanic better not be another gold-tooth flashing, flatulent ******* of a human being like the last one, and I don't know why my phone hasn't buzzed with good news by the promised time yet." (Not too much, I hope. 😅)

As for how I'd tell them without explaining why? I've developed a look. Anybody would understand it, and I don't even have to exaggerate the expression. They know.

@cheerfulKiwi1776

- I cry when I get overwhelmed infront of family. Not with friends or strangers– but in front of family? Bawling my eyes out. Everyone always gets so mad at me. It scares them, they see it as a weakness, a way for people to exploit me. So yeah, i avoid emotional conversations because I know the tears have never been something I can control, and i dont need another reminder of my failure in that aspect

- life is alot, i feel like im going crazy and i just want someone in my corner but i dont want comfort i just want to exist for a moment without expectations.

That is, i think, the plainest way I can state how overwhelmed life is making me

Sometimes I worry about saying things wrong. I used to over explain or try to. I often feel like I need to justify things. I haven't cried in years. Mostly I stopped  because it feels pointless

How I would tell someone without explaining? I used to say I have teeth today, meaning I'm in a bad mood. Or it's a four letter word day 😅 

I've come right out and said I dealing with everything on my own. No explanation needed for that. I just got a silent look.... 

@cheerfulKiwi1776

I do often find myself staying quiet about things because I'm so worried about not saying things right and I usually end up overthinking what I'm going to say. I guess its also because I feel like a burden when talking about how I feel. And I guess I never considered this before this but I guess I do stay quiet because I end up crying when talking about it. 

"I'm just going through a lot, I dont really want to talk about it right now." I guess that would be how Id tell someone I'm feeling overhwelming without having to explain why. 🙃

For the practice sentence, I would say: I feel uncomfortable and I don't really know why.

Many times i stay quiet because I don't get a non-judgmental and safe place to express my emotions i have tried few times expressing my emotions most of the time people near me failed to give it proper attention and support i needed at that time. Also there are time when i stay quiet because i just don't how to properly express myself and the perfectionism thing really reasonted with me especially when i simply want to express my opinion or I want to people to understand why i did certain things and took certain decisions.

I want you to know life is being really hard on me and I'm not in right state of doing anything I'm just struggling alot with many things I really need support and compassion.

More like afraid of how the words backfire being misinterpreted, twisted and weaponized. And somehow since 1-2 years I've been barely crying except for the major breakdowns, maybe becuz of holding too much i guess. But I found it physically impossible to cry except for the pressure in eyes and throat.

Rough draft:

I don't know the how's and why's yet but right now I need you to know I am very overwhelmed and would appreciate you giving me some space.