What are you doing to ensure you are a good partner?
Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. We have talked a lot about our hopes, expectations, red/green flags in relationships but most of these conversations have been outward focused, focused on our expectations from other people.
However we too make up a huge part of any relationship we are. Today lets talk about romantic relationships. What are you doing to become a better partner?
Just a note, that you working on yourself, does not excuse bad conduct from the other partner. The post is not implying that you are not enough or that you need to change but rather an opportunity to reflect on how you can be more, how you can be a better partner.
I know that something I struggle with is to voice any concerns/worries with my partner. I tend to keep my thoughts to myself and either make excuses or just hope they pass. Without sharing my thoughts with my partner, nothing can be solved or discussed.
This is something that I have been working on for a while now. One big barrier though has been that some of my concerns are a rather touchy subject for my partner so I still find myself being very hesitant. Again, its a work in progress :)
@Hope
What are you doing to become a better partner?
i make improvements about my behavior every day.
It's a good question. My partner is struggling right now with depression. I think the best thing I can do is just be a calm, consistent, and loving presence in his life, and I try hard to be that for him. At the same time, I know I need to take care of myself and that's also part of being a good partner in a healthy relationship.
@Hope
I take care of myself, have my own life and do self study.
I read books with meditations, reflections and exercises for couples to learn more about keeping a relationship engaging, healthy and joyful.
My parents didn't have all the answers my childhood self though.
So I'm this unlearning and relearning has been and is an often excruciatingly hard and painful process.
*My parents didn't have all the answers my childhood self thought they did.
(In fact they were often dismissive, abusive and neglectful and taught me a lot of negative things about relationships and life.)
So I'm doing many things to unlearn what they taught and learn a healthier way.*
Make concerted efforts to pause, breathe, listen, and speak with compassion when anxiety or tensions rise.
To be more patient with myself and my husband. Also im learning to listen more with being more open to things
I am struggling with this at the moment although i truly believe we will end up apart i am trying very hard to see his point on things he is a lousy communicator and i often in past took his words as literal but find he can not be that wrong ALL the time so he must not mean it as it sounds..
I pointed this out in a non accusatory way to show his "support often sounds like a backhanded compliment" and literal sounds very hurtful. he told me you know i did not mean it that way... i sort of do but i am tired of waiting for HIM to be a better partner
What are you doing to become a better partner?
Currently, I've enrolled into school for real estate, and I'm hoping once my career takes off, I can better support my partner. Right now, he's been supporting me financially and I feel bad...
So hopefully after the classes and starting work, I will be able to become more independent while also being able to support my partner so we can build a future together.
Apart from that, I contact him daily (he's 2hrs away, long distance) and we game together whenever we can. He comes over to my place usually every weekend or ever other weekend depending on what he needs to do.
@Hope
I am continuing to make my healing a priority through counseling (trauma and other), being more mindful of patterns/habits, and deepening my relationship with Christ.
