The Offsite Contact Rule and How It Protects You
Hi, everybody!
Some folks have asked why we enforce zero tolerance when it comes to offsite contact.
The offsite contact rule is simple: you're not permitted to ask for or share personal contact information with anyone you meet on 7 Cups. This includes social media handles, phone numbers, email addresses, or any other way for someone to contact you outside of the site.
I know it can be tempting to connect with people you've bonded with outside of the platform, and you may think it's a pretty trivial thing, but it's crucial to understand why the rule is in place and why it's so vital for our community's safety.
‼️ The main reason for this rule is to protect our community members. 7 Cups is designed to be a safe, anonymous space where you can share and receive support without fear of judgment, harassment, or having your personal information compromised. Once you take a conversation offsite, that safety net disappears.
‼️ 7 Cups provides a level of anonymity that allows people to be vulnerable and open up. We don't really know who is on the other side of the screen. No matter how much you think you know or trust someone, sharing personal information can expose you to real-world dangers that the platform can't protect you from.
I consider our platform a sanctuary, a place where the focus is on emotional support. When offsite contact occurs, it can lead to complicated relationships, gossip, and conflicts that can spill back onto the site and disrupt the supportive environment we've all worked so hard to create.
‼️ The moment you move your conversations off 7 Cups, the platform has no way of helping you if something goes wrong. Our community guidelines, reporting tools, and staff can't intervene in offsite interactions.
‼️ This rule is especially critical for protecting younger users and those who are in a vulnerable state. It helps prevent things like "catfishing" (someone pretending to be someone they're not) or a user with harmful intentions from targeting someone they've connected with.
I know it can be frustrating, especially when you feel like you've made a genuine connection with someone. But please remember that this rule is for everyone's benefit. It’s a collective effort to maintain the integrity and safety of this community.
Let's all do our part to respect the guidelines and keep this a safe space for everyone who needs it.
If you're not convinced, I recommend reading this real user cautionary tale:
My Experiences with Offsite Contact
@Heather225, thank you so much for this really important reminder!
@Heather225
Thank you for this reminder. Let's keep everyone on 7cups safe.
@Lovingswan22
thank you!!
I really appreciate this post, and I especially appreciate the vulnerability in the cautionary tale. I'm ashamed to admit that when I was a newer listener I also took a relationship off-site. This person deserved someone who held sturdy boundaries and was just there to support them, and I've carried the guilt of betraying that trust for a long time. I'm very proud of the member for reporting me, and I hope they're doing well now. I'm also deeply grateful, because it gave me the opportunity to learn and confront my own mental health.
These posts helped me to show my past self grace. I'd love to share (as someone else with a cautionary tale) another important safety practice, specifically for listeners: set boundaries for yourself. For me, I set the following boundaries for myself, and it's made me a much better listener:
- If I'm not doing well emotionally, or if I'm in a place of instability, I can't properly offer support to members. Therefore, I will not sign in as a listener in these moments.
- If I'm feeling attached to a person in a friendly way, I need to address those feelings and evaluate exactly where that feeling is coming from. For me, more often than not, it's not healthy to form genuine and long-lasting relationships with members. I will absolutely check in, and generally it's okay for me to have several conversations with the same member, but at the end of the day, these are people that are trusting me with their vulnerability. It's not appropriate for me to mistake that vulnerability for something that it's not. Sometimes that looks like having to end a relationship with a member if I feel that my attachment to them is unhealthy.
- To that end, I have to accept that sometimes the best thing I can do for a member is end the conversation. If I'm not in a place where I can offer support, or if I need support myself, it's not appropriate for that to manifest in my conversations, and in those situations, there are better listeners for that member in that moment.
These are the boundaries I've set for myself personally, and I think it's important that all listeners have guidelines and boundaries set for themselves on top of the rules already in place by the platform. Sometimes more are needed, and that's okay! Do what you have to do to make sure that you're protecting members and helping them.
Gosh I feel like this is so unfair because 99% of the people here just suffer from loneliness and would like a friend!
@JazmynC25
The rules are in place for a reason. there are other websites for what you seek.
@Heather225
Boosting <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 There would be no need for 'boosting' if the thread was pinned.
@Heather225
Another comment is that long-time listeners have spoken to over one or two thousand people and say that one in twenty is tempting you off-site, how many people would you have given your anonymity away to?
THINK !!
@Heather225
Thank you.
@Heather225thsys true we all need to do that
@Heather225
Thank you for educating us all.
great post
@Heather225
This is am amazing thread, thank for the reminder 🥰