Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I forgive somebody who hurt me deeply?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 09/15/2020 at 7:11am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 27th, 2019 6:13pm
When someone hurts us, causes us pain, it strips away everything that was shared between you. Every laugh, every smile every moment is pulled back, and beneath is the core of your relationship with that person. It allows you to see that core with fresh eyes and you can see it for what it truly is. Relationships are double sided, there is an ebb and flow like the sea, like the blood that flows in and out of our hearts. The core of each relationship is sustained by the ebb and flow of love between two people. So if you see that core and you see that it is still there, beating and full of life, then I believe it is possible to find forgiveness.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2020 7:48pm
I think the first thing you have to do is to accept and feel all the emotions you felt when that person hurt you. Only after that can you begin to try to forgive them. But remember that forgiveness doesn't come easy, so even if you have moved on from what they have done, it might be a lot longer before you can truly forgive them. To forgive someone, I think the best way is to have a conversation with them if they are still around, and based off that conversation, I think that you yourself will be able to tell if you can forgive them...
artfulbalance
September 15th, 2020 7:11am
In many cultures, forgiveness is considered the only legitimate path to healing. While forgiveness certainly has its merits, it may be worth asking whether there are other options toward healing. Unfortunately, I have had relationships with people who have done things to me I deem unforgivable. To this day, I do not and would not forgive them. In a similar manner, I refuse to minimize what has happened to others by advising them to "forgive and forget." What's the alternative to forgiving, then? Letting go and moving on. Those who profess forgiveness and the only or highest form of closure forget to mention that it is possible to move on with your life and make a meaningful life story that does not involve absolving someone of the responsibility for what they did for you. In my experience, throwing forgiveness to the wind has actually helped me become smarter in my relationships by helping me acknowledge some people are unsafe and taking preventative measures -- rather than post-offense measures -- to keep their undesirable traits or propensities at bay.
Tyedyedbutterfly65
August 27th, 2018 2:56pm
We forgive them for ourselves because we are the ones that will be affected by how they hurt us they be sorry and apologize and that would be great and if they do accept the apology and try to move on and know they are human and make mistakes. We can hurt others and not always mean too so we have to ask for forgiveness sometimes also and hope we are forgiven. If A true friend really does care this will work out and get better , give it time and know that maybe they didn't really mean to hurt you so deeply. Love them anyway !