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How do I get her back without seeming desperate?

33 Answers
Last Updated: 07/16/2018 at 7:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
December 23rd, 2014 12:01am
Treat her as a friend. Of course, take some time before doing it again, but do try to make her fall in love again with dates, details, etc. And make sure she accepts them, maybe she feels awkward.
January 6th, 2015 1:35am
Not knowing the exact situation this is definitely a tough question to answer! But, I think that if you can show someone how you truly feel about them and make them understand how much they mean to you, you have a chance of getting them back! If it doesn't work out, always know that there will be many more people you meet in life!
September 29th, 2015 8:50am
For me, i'm quite open and honest so i would honestly just say, express your feelings to her. Tell her about how you feel, doesn't matter if you sound desperate, if you love her you will be desperate, Don't worry about feeling embarrssed, if you express how you feel you have more of a chance and you will only regret not saying something later on down the line. if she wants you back she will, but if she doesn't then i'm afraid the best thing to do is to move on, distract your mind
January 24th, 2016 8:48pm
Don't rush things. Take your time but also give her time to remind her why she fell in love with you. Make her fall in love with you all over again.
December 4th, 2014 9:06am
'If you love her let her go." It's an old proverb for a reason. Significant Others are not boomerangs; we can't always expect them to come spiraling back. Everything happens for a reason and if it isn't meant to be, it isn't meant to be
December 7th, 2014 3:49am
Be up front and honest with her. If you truly lover her and want her back, you won't worry about seeming desperate. Honesty and communication is key!
January 17th, 2016 7:36pm
Tell her how you feel straight foward, it's better and easier for you AND her. I wish you good luck!
January 28th, 2016 8:12am
If you do nothing, nothing can go wrong. Giving space and time to the situation can help with healing for self as well as the other side to process their thoughts. This process is hard and can take months or years
November 13th, 2014 11:26pm
Take care of yourself first so you can be at your best, so you can be the best person for her and she'll realize the difference and start from there!
November 24th, 2014 5:15am
The best thing is to seem happy, don't show her you're bothered by it. When she sees that you can be good on your own then you can start trying to get back with her
December 16th, 2014 10:42pm
Find ways to spend time with her, think about why it is you two broke up in the first place, and try to change things for the better. Because getting her back is one thing, but keeping her requires work on both ends. Also, dont go begging her to get back with you
January 27th, 2016 9:36pm
Talk to her! Become friends and be honest with her! At the end of the day you'll either gain her back as a friend or gain her as a girlfriend again, what have you got to lose? Honesty is key in all relationships, just don't say "I'm nothing without you" or something corny, try "can we try us again and see if it works out?" Etc! Good luck!
January 29th, 2016 1:04am
I think a better thing to ask is how can I accept that she isn't in my life anymore? It's hard to "give up" your dreams for the person you desire but you may end up being healthier mentally and emotionally if you do.
January 31st, 2016 12:08am
I would suggest to maybe give her a little slack if you know what i mean. Let her be and let her have some time to herself so you don't seem clingy. I would suggest after you have done that, to occasionally message her, try to spark up a conversation. Ease your way back to her but do not come on too strong. If she doesn't answer you back right away or within an hour, just let her be. She will eventually come around. If she doesn't at fist, then again, just let her be to herself. Sometimes us girls need that. Good luck.
February 7th, 2016 9:08pm
I guess girls like to see the full devotion to prepare to say yes. Whatever you have been and she have been, the relationship has had some strains and both had hurt. Now think about the positive note. Do you know someone has to make a start! So it might be you or her. What matters is if their is any EGO then it's not gonna work at all.
February 9th, 2016 12:26pm
Be yourself.. True to your heart and to her. Don't push yourself.... You'll get her back someday....
September 6th, 2016 2:08pm
Show her that you've changed for the better and if she's willing to give it another shot, you are too
November 20th, 2014 4:42pm
If a person is in need of some space, respect that. People recognize when you put their needs before your wants.
November 20th, 2014 6:05pm
Just tell her how you feel..straight to the point and accept her decisions no matter what it will take patient
November 22nd, 2014 7:09pm
Try and talk to her about how you feel, explain to her the thoughts you may be having lately. Ask her if she is willing to fix things that may have went wrong in the relationship and work with her if she is willing.
September 21st, 2015 3:55am
Easy answer: You don't! You broke up for a reason, remember that. I'm sure there were good times, but once it gets to the point that you've broken up there's probably too much to bring it back.
October 7th, 2015 2:05pm
if you really want this girl back then you wouldn't mind sounding desperate, you need to show her how much she means to you and that you would do anything to have her back
January 13th, 2016 11:12pm
Tell her the truth and how you feel. She shouldn't think your desperate because your being honest. Honesty is the best policy,
January 31st, 2016 11:12pm
Tell her how you feel. You won't seem desperate, your simply showing her that you want her back, and that's a good thing because it shows you care
February 4th, 2016 3:05am
Perhaps give it some time and see if this is best for you and is truly what you want. If so think on why you lost her and what you can do this time to keep her. Also flowers never hurt, besides Valentines Day is approaching.
February 4th, 2016 4:20am
You can't get her back unless that's what she wants too, and it's unlikely she'll fall for you again if you're desperate, clingy or negative about yourself. She'll only be attracted if you are attractive. Give her time and space to clear her head, and same for you. Move on from her for now and start working on yourself to be a stronger and happier person. Work on the areas that she doesn't like and try to improve -- for example it can be being more optimistic, more patient, etc. Life will bring you two back together if you are meant to be. Good luck :)
March 1st, 2016 9:02pm
If you want her back, you should try it, but If she's not interested in you, the best thing you can do it's erase her and start again
March 7th, 2016 1:25am
Unfortunately, you can only control you, not her! So there's not a guarantee that you will get her back. With that said, if you want to avoid seeming deperate, make sure not to be too busy. Be honest and direct and then let her make her own decision. It can be hard to be patient and see what happens, but it may be necessary.
April 17th, 2016 4:06am
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April 25th, 2016 7:39pm
tell her how you feel, tell her how you have been feeling emotionally and more emotionally then physically