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How do you go about breaking off a relationships to be least harmful to your partner.

16 Answers
Last Updated: 03/03/2020 at 3:10am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Amy Justice, BS, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My passion is to help people overcome feeling "stuck" in unhealthy patterns by facilitating real, healthy changes through self-discovery and practical applications.

Top Rated Answers
Eli911
January 12th, 2015 3:05am
I think that every relationship is different. You have been with that person for a while and you understand how they will react in certain circumstances. Choose the best decision that will let the other person understand the breakup. That way they can try to move on as quickly as possible.
HeartfulPerspective
February 20th, 2015 6:11pm
I personally would say be upfront with them, there is no point in lying to them about your emotions. This way they can begin to accept what has happened and move on.
WhitneysSafeSpace
May 29th, 2015 4:42am
In most situations, no matter what you do, it's going to hurt. The best thing you can probably do is to be honest with them about the situation, as well as being honest with yourself about it. If you can, I would suggest doing it face to face in a neutral, public place. They could react in a million different ways, but try and hold your ground and be as honest as you can with them.
VanessaD92
June 11th, 2015 12:49am
Do it in a respectable manner. Make sure you are mature and polite about it. Leave no strings hanging and assure that everything is said before you both go your separate ways.
FriendlyAdviser
August 4th, 2015 10:06pm
Relations are all about understanding each other, and I personally think one should end that way too. Just be open to your partner and try to understand your partner's feelings about it too. Such situations can be hard but being understanding and polite is the best way to do it.
AllEars143
September 28th, 2015 4:48am
If i ever need to break off a relationship, I do so with utmost respect and pure honesty. I do not leave anything out and I am as detailed as possible to give the proper closure the other person needs. I answer any questions they may have to clear things up to make sure they understand why.
charmingDaisy65
November 2nd, 2015 7:00pm
Prepare them, be honest with them without being mean/hurtful, be open about your reasons for leaving and give them time to process.
Anonymous
February 29th, 2016 1:00pm
Avoid doing it through an argument. Take your time to think about why you feel like you need to break off the relationship, and when you feel clear yourself meet your partner face to face rather than doing anything over text or phone. If you have a long distance relationship, take it over phone or skype rather than messages. Sit down and talk together as calm as you can and do your best to explain what you are feeling and why the relationship no longer works for you, try to also give him/her space to tell you how he/she feels. Take your time and show this person that you respect and appreciate them although the relationship doesn't work.
heyitsveraxoxo
February 29th, 2016 5:40pm
Be completely honest with them. The worst thing you could do would be ignoring them or otherwise "slowing down" the relationship. Think of it like a bandage; if you were to slowly pull it off, it COULD hurt less, but it would be drawn out and over time hurt more. If you just 'rip the bandage off', they will be hurt, but not for as long. Afterward, cut off all contact for a month or so. This will help them learn that life goes on without you, and for you to realize that life goes on without them, too. It also minimizes guilt if you aren't always stalking them and watching sad status updates be posted to their social media, for example. I tried this method with an (ex) boyfriend of mine. A month later he actually texted me and THANKED me for not breaking his heart! Good luck. :)
akherousia
February 29th, 2016 8:46pm
What you must never do - is to leave them without saying a word. It is the most cruel thing ever and that will leave them "hanging in the air" not understanding what happened, not being sure if it's over or not at the same time hoping you can still be together. Tell them the honest reason but try to word it in a mild way. If you just blurt out "i don't love you anymore!" it will hurt a lot. You can say something like "You are a great person and you made me happy and i'm sorry but i think it is for the best that we are not a couple anymore" or something similar.
BeautifulLotus94
May 2nd, 2016 4:19am
Coming from experience, it is never easy to end a relationship with someone you care about. But it's also no better to stay with them to keep them happy. The best thing to do is sit down with them and talk to them. Share how you're feeling and hope they understand.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2016 7:22am
Make sure you stress it wasn't anything they've done and they couldn't have loved you better. The most upsetting thing is when they blame themselves or think they didn't do enough.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2017 10:31am
I had to end a 6 year relationship last year and it was quite awkward and difficult. I don't think there is any easy way to do it. I tried sitting down and talking but I think anyway I would have done it would have been as explosive as it was in the end. But don't be disheartened by this, either way the person is going to hurt but in the long run you are both going to be better off. It may be a hard step but I am the happiest I have ever been a year and a half on!
sweetSky42
July 18th, 2017 7:58am
I believe the best way to end a relationship without hurting the other party is being honest. Sit down have a conversation about your feelings. Tell them what you are going through and allow them to express their emotions as well.
helpfulljess123
June 4th, 2018 8:03pm
tell them its not there fault. tell them you still respect them and hope to be close with them in the future. respect there feelings and he fact they will be shocked and sad etc. don't be rude!
tranquilbear14
March 3rd, 2020 3:10am
You can try being honest, tell her/him why you are breaking up. Pick a time in which both of you are calm and focused and just say why you think the relationship should end. It's important to think deeply before making this decision and considering how the other person is going to feel too. You can also tell them how special they were to you and that you hope they find another person they can connect with. It's going to hurt but if you think it is for the best, then do it. Time will help you and that other person heal. Good luck.