Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do you regain your sense of self worth after a breakup?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 06/24/2019 at 6:06pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Portugal
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
GentleEyes7
May 14th, 2015 1:09am
You remember that you were okay without them once and that the moment someone noticed something special within you is when you in fact became special. You were always special. You were always amazing. Your inner strength was in you long before they were in your life and it will be within you after the next breakup. This is a chance to grow, to become the amazing person you've always wanted to be. How lucky you are to have received this amazing life experience to learn and understand a completely other side of you. Believe in yourself and remember, you're not a half, you're a whole. Now go out in the world and own it.
Kat26
February 13th, 2015 11:39pm
By reminding myself that I don't have to be "the one" for every person that comes along, and also by going out with people that care about me such as friends, and family. Because you don't have to try and please everyone because everyone is perfect the way they are, and if the ex can't accept you for you then the least you can do is accept yourself.
CinnamonLover
May 27th, 2015 9:01am
Everyone have their own special charm , breaking up means that he/she , didn't see your charm , so in the end , they r the losers not you , you don't deserve a person who can't see your true self and your charming self
Anonymous
August 11th, 2015 9:43am
His/Her loss. :) Know that things just didn't work out. It sucks, it really really does, but don't feel alone because other people are feeling the same way as you are. In the end, someone out there is going to be really really happy that you didn't get back with your ex, and that person is going to prove that you are so so beautiful and worth so much. He/she is going to finally make things right. :)
heartfulleigh60
August 31st, 2015 4:42pm
It's so difficult to detach from one we were once attached to, who helped us shape our identity with them as a collective unit. I find post-break ups, while difficult, allow the chance to re-establish who we are, who we thought we were, and who we want to be. Self-care is the best way to experiment with what works for us. Baby steps!
stayaliveformee
November 9th, 2015 11:45pm
You remind yourself through the whole relationship that, the person you're with doesn't make your self worth or break it. You are strong, and you matter with or without them.
SparkySparkz
June 18th, 2015 1:21pm
It's a difficult thing to put into words, as every relationship, breakup and person is different. However, planning what you want to do, moving forward, and becoming happy with yourself can be a great start. Finding things you enjoy, either new, or old habits, can be great as long as it's constructive. Being around other people can also open your eyes to you being a great person - If people want to hang out with you, they rarely do that out of pity!
Tanichka
March 28th, 2017 3:54pm
Treat yourself worthy even if you don't feel like it, with time you will star to believe it. Do more of what you like, try something new maybe. Try to talk to somebody new maybe. Go out even if it's just for a walk by yourself. Enjoy your company. Realize that you are a unique living being (one in 7 billions) and that makes you worthy :)
setmefreeletmebe
April 10th, 2015 6:20pm
deflection, deflection and more deflection. After a breakup we will have 4 phases (you can google it). Try to talk with your friends and think at the positive things and move forward!
Life705
April 17th, 2015 5:54pm
I found that getting active can be of great help whenever your self worth is lowered after a breakup. I started trying out new sports after my last breakup and it greatly increased my sense of self worth. Doing things you like makes you realize that life can also be worthwile without a partner and that you can also have a great time in your own company. It also helps distracting you from nagging thoughts about the breakup.
Tinygreentreefrog1234
September 22nd, 2015 2:00am
Realize that you two just didn't work well together. You two not working together doesn't reflect on either of you personally. Take your time. Maybe seek counseling and never forget that you are never alone we will all be available to help you.
goldenKermit52
November 2nd, 2015 11:12am
by re-branding yourself by changing your appearance in terms of wardrobe and hairstyle that will boost your confidence and avoiding rushing into relationships.Give yourself room to heal
caringDog68
February 2nd, 2016 1:46pm
Do things you enjoy with the people you love! Whether its family or a few close friends, go enjoy yourself and have a good time
Lights9
February 8th, 2016 3:26pm
first of all, you need a break from everything and everyone. Then, try to see your life from another perspective. if he/she was the one that got away, then try to think what you did for so and improve yourself for a better beginning, and don't forget that nobody is perfect and that was completely normal, you gained experience and that's perfect. Then, try to see another things worth living instead of him/her.
MeowTalk
May 23rd, 2016 10:29am
You regain this by doing things you enjoy such as playing a video game, going to the gym, hanging out with friends, or simply having some relaxing time at home doing things you enjoy.
JustAtypicalPotato
October 18th, 2016 9:13pm
Why would you lose your sense of self worth in the first place? Breakups are a part of one's life and as cruel as it can be, as time passes by you realise that you came out of it with plenty of experience. Surely, the first couple of weeks are difficult to pass by but time heals everything. Embrace it, learn from it, nurish it and move on.
Positivitywave
May 30th, 2017 7:13pm
It has to be all about you. You are the most important right now. Take all the time in you need, do the things you've always wanted to do, make a change, there are so much things you can make different, be active, don't let the breakup destroy you because it won't be the first or last time you'll get your heart broken. And it'll hurt. It will hurt as hell and you will think that you can't do that. That you can't move on. But you can. You have to. You need to if you want to be happy. So don't let yourself down after a breakup. It will be better, I promise. Time heals all wounds.
wildsiamreads
September 3rd, 2018 4:32pm
I remind myself that even though I've made my own mistakes and they've made theirs, doesn't mean that I should pin the blame on the end of the relationship to either of us. We all played a part in the relationship and we need to stop forcing something that is not meant to be to keep happening. Time to progress forward. Forgive and let go. I know that better things come when I rise above situations that are no longer serving me. I also remind myself not improve my sense of self-worth by taking care of myself really well, putting myself out there, spending quality time with my loved ones, tap into my creativity and be more productive. Those sounds unhelpful to some people, but it works for me. Also a lot of sobbing, but that's a part of being human and that is normal.
gentleHeart2180
June 24th, 2019 6:06pm
Breakup is a really painful thing that can happen in one's life but, we should be able to figure out that things or person who have gone are gone and we should be able to understand our self worth. The person we loved has lost someone who loved him than anything in the world and we have just lost someone who didn't value us and cared us enough.I ,we everyone deserve much much better. We are worth more and we shouldn't be crying and feeling down for someone who left us in pain . We should always remember that we deserve much better .