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How to get over someone

24 Answers
Last Updated: 11/30/2021 at 8:19am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
June 18th, 2015 2:37pm
The first time I broke up, I was absolutely heartbroken. Everything I saw reminded me of him. But I found a way to help remind myself of how good things were before I was in a relationship. I would do things that I used to do, like get ice creme with friends, ride my bike, or read books alone in bed. It helped me remember that even though I missed him, and being together, he wasn't my everything. I was happy before him, and I could be happy after him too.
June 23rd, 2015 3:46am
Sometimes we feel that when we break up, a part of ourself is missing. I think the first step to get over someone is to become complete again. Do your favorite activities, remind yourself and invest in your interests, and spend more time in the nature. Soon you realize that you are becoming alive again....
May 25th, 2015 7:26am
I cut off all connection with the person, let that person be at peace and I am at peace. I do not respond to him at all call back,or message him unless I am over him completely.I involve myself in all activities I like as in cooking, working out etc
August 4th, 2015 6:08am
Focus on things you like too do, hang out with your friends, accept that youre so much more worth it
April 4th, 2016 6:30am
Don't bottle up your emotions cry bawl your eyes out , scream into a pillow. shout obscenities at the wall. during the initial stages of getting over someone, you may feel miserable. you need to accept these feelings in order to truly release them and move on with your life. listen to music. you may get the urge to listening to break up music. contrary to popular belief, listening to sad music will not make you feel worse. Such music can actually help you to feel like someone somewhere shares your pain, and that you're not alone in what you're feeling. Plus, if you cry and sing along, you will have expressed your emotions in a healthy way. When you're done you'll find yourself feeling better for it. talk things over with friends. The caring shoulder of a close friend can be a valuable tool to rely on. Sometimes talking about your feelings is a good way to air them out and move on. A friend can help you recognize that what you're feeling is normal. Plus, getting your frustrations out into the open might be help you better understand and resolve them. Keep a journal. If you want to give your friends a break or do not have any you feel comfortable enough to talk to, write your feelings down instead. This practice can also help you release and vent your bottled-up feelings. The mental health benefits of journaling are many. It helps us to clarify our thoughts and feelings, understand ourselves better, minimize stress, problem-solve, and resolve disagreements.Avoid unnecessary contact. This means no calling, no emailing, and no “accidentally” bumping into the person in question while he or she happens to be on a daily morning run. If you want to get over someone, you need to put enough distance in between the two of you to give yourself a chance to heal.Quit cyber-stalking. Stop checking his or her Facebook, Twitter, blog, Pinterest, or any other social media account associated with that person. Fixating on how the other person is doing at the moment will only make it harder for you to move on with your life.Toss out any reminders. Even if you cut ties and avoid communicating directly with the person you want to get over, you might still have a hard time moving on if your room is filled with reminders of that person.Leave the house. Take a walk. Go on a trip. Venture out into the great unknown, or even venture into the slightly-less-impressive known. The point is that you will need to get out of bed and physically move on with your life, no matter how much you wish you could spend another day lying around and watching sad movies. Meet new people. This can seem tremendously difficult, but it can also have a huge impact on how thoroughly you recover. By meeting new people, you allow yourself to see that there are others who may come to appreciate and love you. Similarly, you might also realize that there really are other fish in the sea.
March 17th, 2015 5:12am
Doing and completing activities that remind you of your self worth. Understanding that you can achieve things without your previous partner will significantly help you improve your outlook on life. You will be able to carry on because you are reminded of how capable and independent you are. Plus, these activities often open up new conversations with others, and if it becomes a group activity, it can also open new connections with someone who may really click with you!
June 2nd, 2015 5:42pm
Focusing on the beauty within yourself is a wonderful way to get over someone. After a break up we often have periods of self doubt feeling as though we aren't good enough so it's extremely important to remind ourselves how truly amazing we are with or without a significant other.
August 17th, 2015 6:38pm
The most important thing is to take all the time you need. Don't try to avoid your feelings, because in order to finally feel better, it's absolutely necessary to confront and to deal with them. Remember why you broke up or why your relationship ended and try to focus on the positive things in your live.
August 25th, 2015 9:34am
You need to surround yourself with people that make you happy and stop contact with the other person
November 10th, 2015 5:25pm
Best way is to join a physical activity group. Or learn a team-based sport. Basically where you can meet new people and work out aswell.
December 21st, 2015 1:11pm
Do not focus on the pain that they have left behind, but rather why your life is better without them. if you can not think of a single reason that your life is better without them then simply allow yourself to go through the emotions you are experiencing, but not to have them effect your daily life for more then a few days. it is going to hurt, but you dont have to let it hurt forever
December 21st, 2015 11:30pm
Maybe there's a good reason you can never have a relationship with him or her, because they... ... have rejected you ... are too young ... are not culturally compatible ... are married or spoken for in any other way.
December 22nd, 2015 10:46pm
Get up under someone else ;) No, really. Sometimes distracting yourself works, but you have to remember to eventually sit back and evaluate your old relationship, why things didn't work and how you felt and now feel. Make sure to understand it wasn't for you and move along. Yes, easier said than done but it works for me. HOWEVER! I did not get up under some else for over a year after my breakup, but instead found a different kind of love with a friend of mine that almost served as a rebound.
December 24th, 2015 3:09am
You can distract yourself with things that you like to do. Get your mind of it. It may be temporary but it'll reduce everytime. Sports help me get my mind off of things because I'm so focused on the sport and I'm tired that I have no time or energy to be thinking about anything else.
January 12th, 2016 3:59pm
accept that the person was a part of your life and that's gonna change whatever you do; drinking, drugs etc but what you can do is take it as an experience and look forward to welcoming new people into your life.
April 5th, 2016 1:07am
You don't, really. You go through the day, day by day. You smile and you pretend but they are always there at the back of your mind.
April 26th, 2016 6:35am
It will take time and effort to do so. Start with forgiving that some1 and yourself and know where you stand now. From there move forward to a better future.
May 31st, 2016 12:29pm
accept the fact that the two of you were not meant for each other. move on and be happy. love yourself.
June 1st, 2016 6:20am
Breakups are never easy, but it helps to keep yourself busy. Take the time to focus on yourself. Do something you've always wanted to do and hang out with friends and family. Remember that you're not alone and that there are people who are there to support you through things like this.
June 7th, 2016 12:34pm
I would say focus on your priorities (work, academics, family, friends, etc) and your personal growth
June 20th, 2016 9:21am
Do as much as possible to engage yourself in other interesting activities to you. Try not to stay alone. Make sure you have friends to hang out with from time to time. Do not isolate yourself for that period.
August 21st, 2017 1:04pm
Easier said than done, cut all contact, delete every trace of them, anything that could trigger a reminder. Spend time surrounded by loved ones and friends, preoccupy your time, distract yourself and MOST IMPORTANTLY, rediscover yourself and what you love. Most cases, you tend to change or put your partner first and lose yourself in the process.
June 15th, 2021 4:54pm
When we love someone and the relationship ends for some reason. We constantly remember how great they made uss feel and how fantastic they were and how we will never find someone else like them. Its a dance between self worth, self esteem and your actual love for them. If you love them but have high self regard, then you eill eidh them luck and unconditional happniess. But if you have low self esteem and love, then you will be needy and resentful and will doubt yourself in every way. Time is the greatest healer of heart ache and its important to remember the bad as well as the good that the person provided in the relationship
November 30th, 2021 8:19am
Love yourself , work on yourself , make yourself way wayyyyy better than you used to be . Accept the lessons it and they taught . Dont be in regrets or guilts just accept and forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have ever made . Self love is the most essential and crucial part of moving on . Get some hobbies some distractions . Be your own mentor and inspiration . Believe in yourself and never loose hope . If you want something and you constantly believe in it being true you will have it thats law of attraction .