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When you are attached to someone, but you know its time to move on, how do you let go?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 12/04/2018 at 1:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Jui Shankar, Ph.D

Psychologist

My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
RideMikeRide
June 18th, 2015 5:41am
When you're attached to someone but you know it's time to move on, here's an illustrative video of what it might first look and feel like, then how to let go (i.e., learn from the past an move forward)... youtu.be/eOFeSM1E2F0
OceanCalm16
May 17th, 2015 5:02am
Remember you always have your self. Hold on to that and know that some people come into our lives for some time and not all our lives. Remember that people before you have done this and you can too. You will be okay. Allow yourself some time and grace. Be straightforward and honest. Explain why you're letting go. Put things to their proper rest.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2017 12:24pm
A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be with us forever only to wake up to reality that nothing is permanent in this world. Love comes and goes. People stay and leave. Life is a constant cycle of finding and losing; of making and breaking; of dying and living again. That is why we should love them right for we may never tell. We might wake up one day realizing that we already lost the people we ought to protect and love. So you want to be happy? Then stop letting the smallest things ruin your whole entire day. If you’re bored with your daily routine, do something unexpected. Stop complaining about how alone you are when you’re surrounded by people who actually care about you. Forget all the drama and let go of all the grudges you’ve been holding. Stop wasting time lingering over all that you could have, should have and would have done. Stop spending your days thinking of how much better you could do; stop longing for something that has been and always will be out of your reach. Just live the days as they come. Wake up every morning and smile at the wonderful day that awaits you. Take a risk for once. Let yourself be happy, because you deserve it.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2015 12:08am
Everyone is different. Therefore, we all have different reactions to different situations. The best way to let go is just to let go and focus on what you want in the future.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2015 7:26am
To let go, you could think to yourself I could do much better, or this person isn't worth anymore of my time.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2015 5:46pm
Letting go of someone can be hard for everyone. The best way of doing that is reminding yourself WHY it's time to move on. Why are you moving on. As long as you remember the reason, it is going to be easier to stick with it. Also, concentrate on other things that are positive and can distract you. Find something you enjoy such as reading books, exercising, meditation and so on. Sometimes we can look at moving on as a rehab and every rehab is challenging and requires a lot of motivation and good will.
ASilentObserver
July 17th, 2017 1:03pm
Remind yourself that it is not a new challenge for you. You already did that in past too. So, you just need to repeat it. Some people come in life to teach you a lesson and the minute you learn, their role is over in your life. Feel thankful to them for teaching you the lesson and move on with a thought, there are many things to explore in life. Take your time, keep yourself engaged and mind diverted from such thoughts. Soon, you'll learn to continue with your daily life.
Starwoah
January 16th, 2015 2:33pm
I read something once that said - ''We call fight to hold on and we all fight to let go'' It's definitely a fight, but when it reaches that point when it's becoming unhealthy to keep holding on, that's when you have to question yourself - is this worth it? I wish I had an easier answer, but I think you have to go through the process of the 'fight' to let go and one day you'll realise that you can't keep doing it anymore.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2015 12:29pm
Try to reduce the amount of time you spend with them, it will help you to an extent. Try to meet new people and learn new stuff.
Anonymous
June 6th, 2017 3:30pm
I take a deep breath and just move forward. It's convincing yourself that you'll be happier once you've managed to get over that person. Letting go is never easy, in fact it's terrifying, but, you also have to love yourself and know when you're not happy anymore. I just try to tell myself that I'm stronger and that I have myself and I can be happy. Happiness isn't confined to one person. Happiness is everywhere if we take the time to look.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2015 4:03pm
When you have to move on, it means that you are going to start something new. You can not start something new if you're still living on your past. For my opinion,the best way to overcome this situation is to think about what comes next, and be prepared for tomorrow. Maybe starting a new lifestyle would be great.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 12:36am
Remember you always have your self. Hold on to that and know that some people come into our lives for some time and not all our lives. Remember that people before you have done this and you can too. You will be okay. Allow yourself some time and grace. Be straightforward and honest. Explain why you're letting go. Put things to their proper rest.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2016 6:51pm
Fill my day with happy thoughts and actions until I no longer feel sadness or the pain of missing the person
Potter13
February 18th, 2015 12:10am
It's hard to let go of people you're attatched to but if it's time to move on there must be a reason. Tell yourself the reasons why it didn't work and what the bad points were. But also don't become too bitter about it. Be glad of the good times and happy that you can learn from what went wrong.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2015 12:19am
I know what I did. But it may not work for you. I didn't reach the point of being able to move on right away and you may not either. But then again you might. Some people feel that "ripping the bandaid off" so to speak is best. You'll know how once you're able. It doesn't happen over night, at least it didn't for me. I had to decide I was tired of feeling like I was and made the appropriate changes.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2015 2:13pm
I move away. I travel as far as I could and try not to look back. Unloading everything, every single thing that could make me remember.
Anonymous
November 30th, 2015 8:53am
You just be honest with yourself and do whats right for your health and safety as with the others.
LeoC1999
February 13th, 2018 3:49am
Open up to them and tell them how you feel if they don't take it well it's OK because they will see that it was for the best
rtkyfm
August 15th, 2016 12:01pm
It needs some time to let it go. You can try to accept the reality that that person isn't in your life anymore. And you must around yourself with your friends, family and what makes you happy.
Beah
December 4th, 2018 1:27am
I look for support within my community to rely on others that can help me through this decision. I try to think of my own well-being and reassure myself that moving on from a particular friendship or relationship is really the best thing for both of us. While trying not to feel guilty I kindly let the person know, to the best of my ability and comfort, that I need to remove myself from the friendship and I hope they understand my reasons, if given. In the past when I've needed to stop a friendship it was hard for me to do so but from those experiences I've learned that in the long run, it's better to do so as needed rather than sticking with a relationship that is toxic or no longer healthy.