How do I handle it when an adult defends their child who is a bully?
Last Updated: 07/09/2018 at 11:18pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
A parent always defend their child because they have faith in their child that they didn't do nothing wrong but they also want a good person out of their child. So its best that they are made aware of the situation by another adult and or given some proof. For a parent it's really hard to expect that their child is a bully so you need to handle it with patience.
Explain the adult that is wrong. You can't defend a person like that. That child needs help and someone that says to him the way it has to be, and make him know that is wrong.
Most likely the parent doesn't understand the situation, and is just sticking up for their kid. If you try explaining it to them, maybe they will understand. Although, the parent could be just as bad as the child. In that case, confront someone else about the situation. Get your parent(s), a teacher, or anyone else to talk to the bully. And always remember, it is not you're fault that you are being bullied, and you are not alone. Stay strong.
No mother wants to hear that their child is a bully, their first instinct is to protect their own. Perhaps, leave them to think about this news, let it settle in. Try letter, as it gives news not as confrontational face to face. Peoples tempers can flare and message is then lost? Perhaps mediation/third party who is non judgmental, impartial, willing to act as a person who can move situation along, both parties must be willing to participate.
This is something that I've always struggled with. Trying to talk to someone about their child is difficult, especially if they get defensive. I personally find talking in a neutral tone with open body language makes it easier to have the difficult conversation.
Walk out the room. I don't show them that you have a different opinion while you child is in the same room. Talk to the adult who is defending the child and tell them what you think of the matter and what you think should happen.
I look at it as they were once bully's in there life so they cant teach your kid no better , they want there kid to grow up with sociable weekness since he was a bully
When a parent defends their child who is bullying another, it is rewarding bad behaviour. It is also teaching them wrong morals and the child should be dealt with. Their motives to why they're bullying should be looked into and they should be listened to. There is a reason for actions, they just need to be figured out.
You probably shouldn't get involved but if it persists you should bring it to their attention that you won't tolerate their child bullying yours.
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