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Why do I feel like I can't get past the bad things that have happened to me?

13 Answers
Last Updated: 05/16/2022 at 11:28am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC


I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
August 24th, 2015 10:07pm
Perhaps we feel like we can't get over the bad things that have happened to us because we worry they will recur and we dwell over what went wrong out in order to understand. We want to let go, and yet we get trapped in our victimhood which compounds us. We assume we will make the same mistakes again. Perhaps blaming ourselves or other people, or mistrust of people, having been let down repeatedly, also prevents us from moving forwards. In my experience, it takes time and repeated effort and failure to get over the past and move on. The past can't be erased, although that would make things simpler, but we can learn to find a place for it. The past can be our friend, and our best teacher. We can bring the cherished lessons of yesterday into the present, and the future, which our imagination owns.
March 26th, 2015 10:31pm
You need to replace the bad things with good things. You can't change the past, but you can make it less relevant but making new good memories and looking forward.
July 13th, 2015 12:52pm
Because you possibly feel upset and like the bad things that have happened are still there. It's hard to get past the bad things, best you can do is do the things you love and think about them and try to get a peace of mind.
November 2nd, 2015 3:35am
There are good reasons for the brain to store memories that way. By emphasizing pain, keeping it close to the surface where it can be easily found again, your brain is trying to protect you from making the same mistake again. We should learn from our mistakes. Learn from what happened but not be controlled by the past.
December 27th, 2015 6:47pm
Because people can move on but can never forget what happened to them. So I would recommend is if you ever made a mistake that you can't forget in the past, then, learn from it to be prepared for what is coming next. Keeping things inside you is what causes you to remember those things, so let it out by talking to someone who appreciates you and accepts you for who you are, you would feel that someone understands you because at that time when you can't get past the bad things that happened to you, you feel so left out and that there is no one for you any more. So learn from your past mistakes and talk to someone, letting things out of you is completely powerful and has a great impact in making you feel strong
April 2nd, 2018 10:53pm
It is hard to forget bad things that happened to us but the only way to go forward is to to try to forgive and go on.
May 25th, 2015 1:10pm
That's normal! People often expect you to forget the past, yet it's exactly what has built and shaped us. Accepting the bad things and coming to terms with the bad things is a big key thing in getting past the bad things. Make peace with your past, and let go of any negativity of it. (Easier said than done, I know)
January 12th, 2015 1:06am
Sometimes life is hard to follow but some things are too heavy from past and it can't get over you. You have suffered from biggest pain and your shadow follow it. I can understand but we are here to listen and anything you want to talk long term you can always talk to us. We have all the ears.
June 22nd, 2015 2:45pm
Emotions are like sailing in the sea. You experience calm phases, sunny and joyful phases and then there are rough tides which make sailing a challenging task. Irrespective of the phase, the ship sails its course. You may be experiencing rough tides now, waiting it out and trying your best to tame your emotions would bring the sunshine back. Yoga, meditation, involving in personality building activities will help you a lot. Time heals all wounds, have a little faith in the universe.
September 21st, 2015 12:26am
because the bad thing remain in our mind a lot of time and make us confused,we are followed by ths bad things
November 23rd, 2015 9:12pm
Getting past the bad things that has happened to you is a process. It is not something that will happen overnight and feeling like you cannot get past those things is completely natural. There are many different possible reasons that you feel like you can't get past them such as not having worked through the events, not accepting them, not fully understanding them, or you may be afraid or not willing to get past them. It's different for each person, but having someone to listen to you helps and getting support is one of the best ways to help yourself get past the bad things and move on to the good.
January 21st, 2020 8:11am
It can be because you put very much energy and emphasis in overthinking about the bad things that have happened to you in the past. By overthinking you not only relive memories on bad things which happened in the past but you also learn and emphasize your memories of bad things which happened in the past and cause that you have harder and harder time forgeting them as you learned them so toroughly. People learn through repeating and repetitive overthinking is therefore a kind of learning. With encoding more and more negative things which happened to you in the past in your memory via learning through overthinking, your amygdala (part of brain responsible for emotional responses) gets bigger and bigger and thus you Will have even harder time relaxing in the future due to your present overthinking about bad things that happened to you in the past.
May 16th, 2022 11:28am
It may be because you have yet to understand the difference between who you are and how you feel. Can you identify your feelings and possibly write them down. 7 cups have a lot of resources around dealing with certain emotions such as anxiety and depression. It’s important that we separate ourselves from the feelings that we get when we think about the past. Meditation can be really helpful in our healing journeys by learning to relax and calm our thoughts which can help us separate the feelings and by identifying them we can better work on them and talking things through with people you can trust. An help eleviate your emotions from causing too much pain.