How can I spend more time with my family when I'd rather be alone in my room all the time?
Last Updated: 04/13/2020 at 12:32pm
Collin McShirley, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.
Top Rated Answers
It's sometimes difficult to socialize especially when your room is a safe zone but I would just recommend at least interacting for half an hour, or watching a show before retreating back to the safety zone (your room).
Family that eats together, stays together. Have some lighthearted chat with your family members while dining together. That chat will open up New dimensions for you to spend more time with your family in coming days. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, festivals with your family. Small happy steps lead to big happy changes. Go on holidays with 'em. Travelling together is a really nice way to strengthen the family bond.
It is important to spend time with your family, as even though you may prefer to be by yourself, it doesn't feel good in the end! If you feel like you and your family have nothing in common, try to start a discussion about a common topic, for example TV shows or favourite films, this will help you to build a bond with your family and will make spending time with them more pleasurable for you, so you will want to spend more time with them than alone. However, if you feel like you need some time alone, do so, as long as you are not isolating yourself from others!
Just think of the outcome of spending time with family stronger bonds and more comfortable with them
I'm actually this way, and if you desire to spend more time then find an activity outside of the house for the family to do. That way, you have no choice.
Try to find some common interests. What do you like to do in your room? maybe you like watching movies, or playing games. Maybe plan a family game night, or family movie night. You could take turns picking the game or movie. You might like cooking, cook a meal for your family and eat it together, talk during the meal. The best way to spend more time with family is by talking. Just talk to your family and find some things you all like to do. Then do it! You will be growing closer everyday!
You can choose to be alone but don't forget that, loneliness can be shared with your family too. You can try that or just try to spend quality time with your family.
Its good to have an alone time once in a while, but too much of it is not good either. Try to allocate time for everything including your family.
Try to engage your family in something that interest you. Maybe suggest that you all do something fun that you and they would enjoy.
Maybe you can arrange activities that you like with your family, even if its just like watching a movie together.
This is a hard one, particularily because i experiencd this feeling quite often. It depends on whether you don't want to be talked to, or you don't want to be around people. What i usually do if i do not want to talk to anyone i will simply just go and sit with them, but not offer to the conversation.
It is not wrong to have that alone time. Sometimes this silence is what we need in order to escape the stress and loudness of life. But hey, you won't be able to spend quality time with your family if you're gonna be in that quiet space all the time. Try, little by little, to go out there and spend time with them. Just being there with them can count as quality time. Just take things slow. Even just in a few minutes, try to be there; to actually be there with them. Genuine Family will always be there for you when you need them, for sure :)
Do simple small things, eat dinner with them. When they go out, go out with them. You'll still have time to yourself, but just spend some moments with them.
Just start out small. Begin by spending even just 10 minutes in the family room with then gradually build the time up. That way it won't seem so overwhelming or like as big of a task or a drag.
Try to spend more time with them slowly. Like try asking about their day (actually asking and listening) and have a small conversation with them or watching a show with them in your living room, then next try to go eat out with them (eating out for lunch is great bonding activity), then go picnic or go to the mall with them. Little things like that would make you much closer to your family, and thus would make you feel like you want to spend more time (if not all the time) with them.
Force yourself out of the self-isolation you seem to be seeking. Ask them for help and look for outdoor activities.
It's important to find a balance between time you need alone to recharge, but also spending time with family. The boundaries are important, but during this Covid-19 craziness, having the connections with family are equally important. Maybe let family know when you need an hour or so of solo time, and tell them to let you know when they need their "me" time too. Are there activities or games that you can do together? Or do you like to cook together? What kinds of things can you do together? It can be hard to do this when other family members may not respect your boundaries. For me, it's learning how to communicate your needs calmly, and being firm in those but gentle about it at the same time. Families are strange things. :) We need to be patient with each other.
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