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How can I stop my mom and my dad from shouting and lashing at me whenever they get angry or upset about something ?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 09/23/2019 at 10:32pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
November 3rd, 2015 12:51pm
Explain parents that the same can be taught to me without shouting too. You will be more happy to follow their advice if explained calmly. And I hope you are obedient to your parents.
January 15th, 2015 4:12pm
You could Tell them how you feel and that you don't like it when they take there problems out on you
April 17th, 2015 7:04am
Communicate is a starting point. Let them know when they yell at you that it scares you. Ask them to take notice of your feeling. Remind them that you are a child and you are learning from them how to manage your emotions. When they yell it hardens you and teach you how to block out yelling regardless if its something important or silly.
May 24th, 2015 5:22am
If you are angry or upset about something, the first thing to do would be identify what is making you feel that way. If you talk calmly to your parents about what is bothering you, they will likely respond the same way.
February 9th, 2016 9:36pm
It's hard to deal with this kind of situation. I have been in your shoes when I was a child/teen and it is hard when our parents treat us this way when you aren't even the one causing whatever the argument/anger is over. I would pick a time when things are calm at your home and sit down with your parents and tell them how you feel and how it really affects you negatively and hurts your self-esteem when they lash out at you. See if you all, as a family, can come up with a more positive approach to these situations. Tell them you understand that they may get frustrated and upset with things in everyday life, we all do. Whether its finances, issues between them, or anything else, it's not your fault. Keep your head up. You will get through this!! If you need someone to talk to one on one, please message me anytime and I'll get back to you ASAP. I've got a lot of experience dealt with this in my own life so I would love to help any way I can. Keep me posted! ~peace&love~
January 15th, 2015 5:24pm
you can let them know that you dont like getting screamed at and would like them to talk to you a little better
September 6th, 2015 6:46pm
The best thing you can do is to speak with your parents about how you feel. Let them know that what they are doing is upsetting to you.
November 3rd, 2015 5:14pm
Ask them to stop, but not during the shouting. My son approached me one day out of the blue when he was about 10 and said, "I really don't like it when you shout at me. Can you not do that anymore?" Until then, I'd never even thought about it. I promised him I'd work on it, and I did. I don't shout anymore. :)
April 12th, 2016 6:06am
Try sitting them down when they are much calmer and approachable and tell them how you feel of them doing so and how it has effected you.
July 11th, 2016 5:42am
It's sometimes hard to avoid getting shouted at, especially from parents. However, it is important to consider accepting what the rules are. If you are doing something that is risky, do not do it. Parents worry about their children in different ways, and usually resort to yelling. It is also important to acknowledge that they may be stressed. So why not become their listener and try to learn why they are upset enough to shout and lash at you for no reason?
October 18th, 2016 5:04pm
You can talk to your parents when they are calm and tell them the way it makes you feel whenever they are shouting at you.
December 5th, 2016 2:36am
Avoid your parents if they're upset and talk to them about it when they're calm. If your parents get frustrated or upset again, walk away in a passive-aggressive way until they're calm. Try to keep a mental note on what upsets them so you can avoid them being upset altogether and everyone will feel better.
April 25th, 2017 5:19pm
When someone is angry, they tend to say things and do things that they later regret. Know that it`s not your fault that they shout at you and you have done nothing wrong. Talking to them about how it makes you feel may help them to understand how what they are doing is affecting you. Staying calm when they do shout can help diffuse the situation.
September 23rd, 2019 10:32pm
I'm sorry that this is happening, this must be extremely frustrating and I completely understand what you're going through. Frustration is normal in our everyday life, but how your mom and dad react is not a reflection of you, but may be the frustrations in their own personal lives. This might be something that may be out of your control, however, what you are in control of is how you react to this. Each situation can very different, and unfortunately you aren't always able to choose the outcome, but you can always choose the best possible way respond when something like that happens.