How do I deal with a mother who simple provides and doesn't act like a mother?
Last Updated: 05/28/2018 at 5:41am
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
You could try to tell her what you think is missing or what you miss. However, sometimes our parents don´t act or react the way we would want that. So we have to find a way to find the love and acceptance elsewhere. Take your time to grieve the loss of not getting the parental love you need and want- and find people who accept you and provide you with the love you need.
Let her know how you feel. Show her affection if you can and you will reap what you sow. Remember her at birthday and Christmas-time.
Oh, this is a difficult one. It's not easy to get older people to change, so you could try to accept your mother for who she is. This can help with the stress. What kinds of things does your mother do that bothers you?
Perhaps voicing your feelings to her can help her better improve your relationship between the two f you.
Remember that life is long. The time you spend at home will seem fleeting later. It's also good to try to put yourself in her shoes (really) and imagine how you would deal with the same situations. Being a mom is tough, and everybody is human. Sometimes moms need help too.
Your definition of a mother could be very different to her own definition of a mother. If your definition of a mother is to prove emotional comfort over simply proving shelter and food and the commonly welfare. Sometimes mothers go against stereotypes or the maternal instinct as one calls it. And that is self sacrifice in emotional ways , and emotional support, then you have to either figure out if that is something that conflicts harshly with your own belief system, or if you can tolerate that she might never really give you that, but that's al right. So it's really comes down to you, rather than changing your mother.
Communication is key. If you're worrying about this issue, this means that somewhere in the back of your head, you want it to change. So take the first step and sit her down, tell her how you feel and ask her how she's feeling... and work it out together. If you don't say it out, she will never know. Sometimes I wish I knew when my words are too harsh and I wish I knew when my actions accidentally hurt someone, but the sad truth is that we don't know how others' are truly feeling. And that's why, if they're don't tell us, we'll never know. That's why both of you need to share, and both of you need to learn. Everything will work out in the end. :)
First of all, tell her how you feel. She needs to know. Many times, a person changes once he realizes his shortcomings. So try and talk to her once, tell her you feel bad about it.
You have to learn to communicate it out with your mom and help her understand where you are coming from and how you feel
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