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How do I know if I'm the one causing problems?

13 Answers
Last Updated: 05/06/2019 at 8:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.

Top Rated Answers
Adoreebrendaa
January 15th, 2015 5:23pm
you know that your the one thats causing problems when you continue to be apart of something and it just keeps getting worse .
Anonymous
February 15th, 2015 8:58pm
How we know if we're the ones causing the problem, that is a good question. I do think it helps to talk to someone who isn't involved and who can give an unbiased perspective along with your thoughts and view situation from the outside looking in. Because when we're emotionally attached, it can be hard to view the picture as a whole and so a different outlook is always helpful as well as an open mind.
Greatlistener87
June 21st, 2016 2:16am
If you realize that whenever you are around instead of solving the issue at hand it gets out of hand.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2015 5:42pm
You ask how you know you are the one causing problems. Let me tell you that if there are problems between you and others, you are not the only one causing problems. It's never just one persons fault.
FlowerxChild
June 14th, 2016 3:22am
I can see it when multiple people start telling me that I am causing the same problem multiple times
benevolentHeart55
December 15th, 2015 4:01pm
I know that i'm one the causing problems if i take a defensive stance towards that person, i then regroup and collect my self and listen to their problems
Chevy81
July 1st, 2015 6:59am
I will search for assurance by asking others, 2-3 persons will do. If they're saying that I am the cause, then I should take time for me to reflect.
MrDiyagi
July 28th, 2015 6:30pm
In whatever situation you find yourself in throughout life, it started with a choice. Somewhere down the line, YOU made a certain choice that put you in the position you are in now. Problems arise, with or without your doing. Take a step out of the situation mentally and summarize the pattern leading up to the specific problem, evaluate and conclude. That is how you know if you are the problem or if something else is.
Leanyon777
November 10th, 2015 8:53am
when everyone is looking bad at me,because they will start to push me away like if i am not wanted here
Masonchistic21
November 17th, 2015 2:49pm
Go with your gut feeling, as it is usually right. If you feel that you are being treated poorly by someone, then reassure yourself and go with your emotions. Ask the person who you are having problems with what their feelings are. This will give you a better understanding on their thoughts and feelings and can help to correct the problem.
Anonymous
December 21st, 2015 1:09pm
That depends heavily on the problem, and how it has played out. thinking about the problem and why it has happened can help you to answer that question
suddendownpour
February 8th, 2016 3:42pm
Ask! Communication is so important. You won't know if you ask. Say you're feeling icky about a particular situation and you're not sure what's up. It may be hard to do, but just asking and being sincere never hurt anyone.
zaatarHoney
May 6th, 2019 8:47pm
This is actually a great question. Accountability is something many people don’t take the time to learn. BUT! It’s a delicate balance between accepting fault where it’s due, and submissively allowing people to place the fault in your hands relentlessly in situations where it “took 2” to happen. It’s all about being aware of your behavior and how it impacts others. Even with good intentions, we can still harm others without realizing. Everybody is unique. It’s not enough to just have good intentions- it’s about being mindful of how your actions and words influence others. Nobody is all bad, and nobody is all good- but we can always do our best to make sure we’re positively impacting others, and not only apologizing when necessary, but making sure we learn something new about that experience moving forward.