Why do I still feel so alone when my family is so supportive of me?
Last Updated: 04/26/2021 at 2:17am
Graham Barrone, Adip ICHP, MCBT
If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat.
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Maybe it's because sometimes most of us feel like they don't know what we're going through. Feeling lonely has nothing to do with family support it's something inside us that we can't explain really.Sometimes we feel like we have no one to relate to or we feel like no one can understand us or what we're going through. which makes us lonely.
Sometimes, even if your family is there for you, there are some things you still can't tell your family, leaving you alone to deal with problems by yourself.
You want a change. Not that you want them out of what you're doing, you just want to prove something to yourself. You want to become independent, one who can stand on your own.
Sometimes even when you have the biggest possible support system you can still feel lonely. This could stem from feeling as though no one really understands you or simply feeling alone because whatever issue you're suffering with makes you naturally feel so separated from everyone else. It's nothing to blame yourself for though. It's not at all your fault.
It could possibly be that they are there physically but not emotionally. It is easy to say that they are here for you, but then not be available later. Or maybe even you are struggling to let them in. Make sure that you are willing to let them help and it may become easier :)
Sometimes your families support is great but at the same time you may be looking for support from your peers more so than your family. If you do feel alone because you feel like you dont have friends who support you, keep reminding yourself that your family loves you and really try to show each other that as much as you can so you dont feel so alone.
Even when family is supportive you have to teach yourself what makes YOU happy. Sometimes it takes time but when you get there you will know.
It is a basic human need to be understood by others. We all need a variety of interactions and relationships in order to feel happy and fulfilled. A supportive family is a great, healthy system, but you may need strong relationships with people outside of your family too. Encountering different people with different perspectives will open up new ways to see the world and yourself. Reaching out to like-minded people who may see you in a different light and who can provide new social interactions for you will make a very big difference.
Do you get out at all? You mght just need to get out and hang with some friends or shop, have some fun!
Maybe you take them for granted. Sometimes when u have the people u need that are always there for you, you tend to not realize it till you loose them. So try appreciating them and their support.
Feeling alone does not always pertain to being around people! You can be "alone in a crowded place," even if that place is full of helpful people that support you and help you (or assist you in managing a mental illness). I understand how you feel! Often I become upset because I *know* there are people out there that care about me, I just feel like there's an invisible wall between my thoughts and their supportive selves. I'm sure they're doing their best to help you out, but if you feel so alone when it comes down to it, you should tell them. Or perhaps find someone to whom you can speak and relate these feelings to! It is up to you, my dear. I am always here if you need to talk. With love, Crow
Thank you for reaching out! To answer your own question reflect on how open you are with your family. Is there information you choose to withhold from your family because you feel ashamed about sharing anything negative? How do you feel when you do not share with your family? Is that causing you to feel alone? What emotions do you go through? I can really hear your family looks out for you and is very caring towards you. In what sense would you say you feel alone? Could it be you worry they cannot relate to what you will share? Could it be that you have not yet accepted what you are going through? Of course your family loves you, and will support your feelings even if they don’t know the full story. It is up to you to tell what they need to know in order to truly feel, and understand your pain. They will love you unconditionally, but it is up to you to be open about your secrets, or problem. Opening about things personal to you will take time and reflection of how you will communicate your need. Reflect on the people in your life you are really open with. Why in particular are you open with these people? Ask yourself also about whether you worry your family will get really emotional about what you share? Are you trying to protect them by not sharing? Do reflect if you feel okay opening up to someone more neutral, so that you have an easier time sharing what you go through. You are welcome to communicate with one of our listeners on our site of therapists for a listening ear. Wishing you all the strength and courage to reach out and be more accepting of what you are going through.
In moments when your family might be showing support, what kind of thoughts come up that have you feel alone? (and what are you doing to address those concerns/questions?) In general, simmering in positive moments and truly experiencing and absorbing them is a practice. Our brains are wired to notice the negative moments - so we can obsess over them, learn from them, and survive. But if you want happiness, next time you feel good feelings - gratitude, support - breathe into it and experience it lasting for 10 seconds before the judging thoughts come in. When someone offers help, support, or compliment, take a breathe, smile, and say thank you - without any qualifications or explanations, or "back atcha" out loud to them, or in your head. Receiving any attention, even positive attention, can be really hard. Just know you're not alone in feeling alone.
Your family is always there, you know that and some times, you do not even knowledge it, consequently it is not important or you do not feel them close to you. You are looking for a new experience, somebody who will bring you something new.. but will also stay. We are eager for new things, new emotions and when we do not get that, also a feeling of loneliness can take place. Another reason why you feel alone is because you do not see the people around you, they are there.. but you are just.. alone.. you do not want to talk to people.. you do not share their emotions.. you just isolate yourself..
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