Why do my parents struggle to the point of becoming violent and mentally hurting me?
Last Updated: 03/05/2018 at 3:48pm
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Now is the time to make a change! Professional, empathic, and compassionate therapist waiting to help you make healthy life changes.
Top Rated Answers
I also have parents who become violent when frustrated. A friend told me that parents are just people too, and so when I think about it from this point of view, the question becomes why do people become violent and lash out? Taking the personal aspects out of it, make it easier for me to see that I do not deserve to be hurt. I hope you know that you do not deserve to be hurt either.
Sometimes parents can be selfish, and not understand that their actions are hurting their children. You may have to let them know that they are hurting you.
Many people have their issues, and some just don't get along. This can be due to emotional, mental, or even physical factors. But whatever their reason, just remember, their struggle is not your fault.
My parents are definitely new to the whole mental illness/lgbtq stuff. I mean they're old enough to make decisions that aren't hurtful towards us, but I guess it's just how they were raised or whatever.
Your parents probably don't know how to handle something that's going on in their lives, so they take it out on you. I recommend that you tell an adult and seek help because it isen't fair to have to live in fear.
I experience this a lot with my parents and I personally have deducted that they're scared. A lot of parents don't know what to do..
This can be a difficult situation. But one should know there is a difference between discipline and abuse. If you feel that you are in danger or a dangerous sitation, you really should try speaking to a trusted person or adult that can help you in this situation.
Emotions can get trapped inside of us for many reasons, and sometimes, if you do not know how to express them, they can be expressed in ways that hurt others. Your parents may not know that they are hurting you; they may just need a little work on expressing how they are feeling. I am sorry they hurt you with their misguided emotions. Violence is never the answer, and if a situation gets out of hand, I hope you have resources that are equipped to help you - there are some resources on this website that can direct you to help if you should ever need it. Please take advantage of these should the need arise. As for mentally hurting you, their frustration or anger or any other emotions may be getting in the way of their ability to make good decisions. If you would ever need somebody to talk to about these situations, we would be happy to listen!
Parents allow themselves to get to this point. They have a choice to change and they are too afraid to take risks because they believe staying in a state of struggle is better for them.
Some people have issues they are shifting through, even though they may seem well collected and mature. But having personal issues is never an excuse, nor a gateway to hurt someone, especially your own child.
Parents usually get too angry and then they try to put all of your anger out of you. They shouldn't do that and know not too.
Sometimes parents do only what they know to take care of their kids and it does not mean that they are bad parents, just means that they are lack of experience and they do not know how.
This behavior stems from something they themselves have not yet identified manifesting itself in violence and mental abuse. There is always more to a story and understanding that story may sometimes just lead to an acceptance without having answers or sometimes it can be all about trying to communicate and accepting what the result of that communication is. Either way, it is important to never take harsh criticism to heart and violence should not be tolerated. Seeking help for any kind of abuse is key especially at an early stage.
they just want the best for you and they think this is the best way you have to tell them how you feel as a person
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