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Can you forgive someone and still protect yourself from them hurting you again?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 11/17/2020 at 8:30pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
WildflowerHeather
April 20th, 2020 2:50am
Absolutely. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to lower your boundaries or see this person every day, you have every right to protect yourself. You can forgive them for what they have done, but you don’t have to be best friends with them, or let them influence your life in any way you don’t want. It’s okay to remove them from your life, in fact that is a very healthy option. You can forgive someone and still have strict limits with them. Forgiveness does not mean things have to go back to the way they were, it’s important to take care of yourself.
Sunisshiningandsoareyou
November 17th, 2020 8:30pm
Yes, I feel one can certainly protect themselves by enforcing creating boundaries and being mindful of past experiences and how they turned out with a person even when they forgive the person. We forgive the person to move past it and allow ourselves to feel lighter too, letting the past incident go and giving the person another chance, however even if we let go, the lesson learnt from that can be remembered and used to as a learning experience to not be in the same situation again, being cautiously optimistic about the person and protecting yourself toolo, to not get hurt again, not with the same person atleast. <3
SummersDay25
January 15th, 2018 4:18pm
yes, you can :) although it's easier said than done, I'd suggest to forgive but not forget so that you won't get hurt again. This had helped me protect myself and from making the same mistake again ^^
Blaze
February 14th, 2018 3:11pm
Yes, it is possible! When you forgive, you might find that you don't hold grudges about what was hurting you, and you might feel free from what happened. That doesn't mean you have to forget. Sometimes it hurts too much. :( If you want to keep your distance to prevent getting hurt again for the same reasons, you have the right to do so!
amazingForest15
March 26th, 2018 7:07pm
Yes you can. By setting go boundaries between you and the person who hurt you. Give them a chance and if they still haven't changed then it is best that you move on from this person.