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Why am I gay?

113 Answers
Last Updated: 12/16/2019 at 5:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
April 10th, 2016 3:19am
I don't think you chose to be a homosexual. It's not wrong to have feelings for someone of the same sex, and sometimes society likes to make you feel like it is. What you feel is the same love that I do, that everyone else does. It's no different, and you shouldn't feel like it is.
April 10th, 2016 6:00am
Being gay isn't a choice it happens at birth, but don't let that bother you, you are you and you can't change that:)
April 13th, 2016 8:36am
Why questions are the hardest questions in the human language. To really answer any why question you have to know to what use the person is going to put the answer. If a 5 year old asks why people get sad they may be happy with the answer, "it's just the way we are made." If a 25 year old asks the question, "Why am I gay?" and wants to know how sexuality comes to be it is a different thing than then same 25 year old asking "Why am I gay?" and really meaning "Will I be happy?" I asked the question "Why am I gay?" and "Why me?" often at one point. I really wanted to know if I was going to be okay. I hope you can find an answer in there. Every person deserves to be happy. I wish I could answer the question why for you and have it answer all the questions you have about who you are and if you are loved. I have never met a person who struggled with "why?" that didn't deserve to be loved. We look within ourselves to understand why when sometimes the answer is who is beside us while we are asking.
April 13th, 2016 9:03pm
I don't know, but you should embrace that you're gay, there's nothing wrong with being gay and it's important to love yourself for who you are because you are amazing.
April 13th, 2016 9:58pm
I don't choose to be gay. My sexuality is what it is, and it has been that ever since I was born. I don't choose to be pansexual. I choose to embrace it, I choose to label it, and I choose wwho specifically I pursue. But I don't choose to be gay. Isn't that great?
April 14th, 2016 9:17pm
It's neurological. You were born that way. Puberty happens, latent desires emerge. All fine and proper.
April 17th, 2016 4:41am
contrary to many beliefs their is no condition as gayzim (not a word i know) you know it never ceases to amaze me why people would ask this. seriously why is someone straight? why would you love? its like questioning your life which you are, who makes you smile like an idiot,trust me the question should be why cant people just be happy for me? not, why am i gay? to hell with what people think seriously love is love and don't torture with the question its just depressing for you, however ask your self, are you gay because you are in love with someone or because you lust on them? if its lust then probably you would be worried and relieved because lust will not sustain more than a few months at most, but if you are in love with someone be glad, since not alot people can say they loved in life, no matter the gender.
April 19th, 2016 5:36pm
You were born with it. Theres no decision when it comes to these things. If you are having trouble coping with this talking to a trusted adult would be good.
April 21st, 2016 1:35pm
There are many different ideas and arguments that have been made that can explain this. It is all in opinion, really. Mainly, people believe that they were born gay and it is in their DNA. Some believe that is how they were raised or were developed to be. Some believe that it could just be a phase and you can grow out of it. This, however, is less likely to happen. It is not your fault for being gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Be happy for being you and don't listen to those close minded people.
April 22nd, 2016 10:24pm
You're gay because that's just the way that you are don't be ashamed there is nothing wrong with you
April 23rd, 2016 6:41am
You are gay because you are attracted to someone of the same sex. Its not a bad thing. Stay true to yourself. If straight people are happy ,why cant you ? Who are they to take away your happiness.
April 23rd, 2016 3:11pm
Because it's not a choice, it is something you've born with. You can't choose who you love, just happens.
April 24th, 2016 2:57am
Because you were born that way. Many people believe sexuality is a result of the hormones you were exposed to whilst in the womb.
April 24th, 2016 9:55am
It's not something to be ashamed about as it is who you are and being diverse is very good. I know its hard now but don't discriminate yourself
April 29th, 2016 4:50pm
you are gay because your body reacts to a specific thing. you just happen to like what you like and there is nothing wrong with that.
April 30th, 2016 6:40pm
It sounds horribly cliche, but you were born that way. It may be troubling to come to terms with, especially if you have grown up around intolerance, but don't blame yourself, being gay is perfectly natural
May 1st, 2016 6:37pm
Because I love my own gender. I love who I want to love, without caring what others might think. I won't live a lie, because others can't accept my sexuality.
May 6th, 2016 5:05am
Because gay literally means happy and if you are happy, then you should be gay! Being gay is not a crime even though it is looked at it in such a manner. You should be proud of your identity and do not think of yourself as an outcast. Love yourself for who you are.
May 8th, 2016 1:59pm
Because thats who you are and you are beautiful and special. Embrace who you are and love yourself and remember that you are valid, important and loved.
May 11th, 2016 5:35am
Certain feelings, such as love for people, is something you can only understand. The answer is different for everyone.
May 11th, 2016 9:35pm
There is no definite answer. But I know in general sexuality isn't a choice. You just like who you like. And it doesn't matter
May 12th, 2016 6:41am
Being gay is like having certain color eyes or different types of hair. It is a type of sexual orientation that exists. Perhaps the question isn't to ask why, but how -- how can I appreciate and accept who I am?
May 12th, 2016 10:27pm
You can't choose whether you're going to be gay or not, it's just the way it is. Not everybody's sexuality is the same and that's not something you should be ashamed of. It happenes in nature: animals can be gay too, so don't think that there's something wrong with you or that you're weird, but try to accept yourself and learn to love who you are.
May 13th, 2016 1:46am
You were born gay. And you shouldn't be ashamed of it! Welcome it with open arms!!! This answer came from a bisexual.
May 13th, 2016 7:40am
Because I like the same sex. Because I am beautiful. Because I am normal. Because I was born this way Because I'm human. And I love it.
May 13th, 2016 11:32pm
You are gay because you were born that way, just like you were born with a specific eye or hair colour! It is nothing to be ashamed about and nothing that people cannot relate to
May 18th, 2016 6:32pm
Human sexuality deffers and it truly unique: People don't have a say in the matter of who they like, love or have sexual feelings towards but they do have power on how they respond to it. It's just nature, and for some it may fluxuate or slightly change and for others it will remain the same, but those who you chose to have in your life should accept that
May 18th, 2016 9:38pm
You are gay because that is how you experience attraction to another. You do not chose this, it is a marker in your brain, you are just as normal as everyone :)
May 19th, 2016 2:07pm
It isn't your fault you're gay. You was born that way. Wear that label proudly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Never ever forget that. You're not alone.
May 19th, 2016 6:50pm
Being gay is not a choice. Being straight is not a choice. No sexuality is a choice, it doesn't matter what people tell you.