My wife treats me like a servant. She doesn't do anything for herself and makes me do everything, How can I bring this up without royally upsetting her?
Last Updated: 09/07/2021 at 7:01am
Monique Bivins, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.
Top Rated Answers
The next time you you have a calm stress free moment to talk one on one with her, open up and tell her that you are feeling taken for granted and tell her about how her behavior and demands have been affecting you. Tell her how you would like to see her helping out more with day to day tasks and such. Ask her about why she has been so passive towards helping you get things done and figure out if she has intentionally tried to make you do all the work. Come up with a plan to make the tasks of day to day life more fair and manageable for you both.
You have to be honest, firm but loving. Try calmly bringing it up. How you noticed this pattern, how it makes you feel, what it means for your relationship if she keeps it up. Tell her that you don't want to blame her or fight over it but it is something that is very important for you. Remember ,if you have to walk over eggshells so she doesn't get upset and if you end up consoling her because she hurt you, that isn't normal. You shouldn't be worried about upsetting her when you have to bring this up in the first place. It just means that you aren't equals in this relationship. I hope she takes it well, if she doesn't I would suggest couples counselling to work on your communication skills. Good luck!
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