What can I do when my husband constantly threatens for divorce anytime we disagree or argue? I have told him many times how his empty threats upset me, should I take him seriously?
Last Updated: 02/23/2021 at 7:56am
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
It seems like your husband uses the threat of divorce so that you can agree with whatever he says. It is possible that he is saying it out of anger, which develops into a habit. It is also possible that he is saying it to win the argument and that he knows you won't leave him. I am glad to hear that you are voicing your concerns to your husband. Did he change his behavior? If not, it is likely he thinks his behavior is unproblematic. He may also continue to use this tactic to keep you in this marriage. The most important question is whether you want to stay in this marriage. Is this behavior what you want in a husband? Do you think he is capable of change? Was he like this before, and if not, what do you think caused this change?
Your husband seems to have learnt an unhealthy way of trying to dissipate an argument: "If I threaten to leave you then you will stop arguing with me". It's like a game of cat and mouse but it's your relationship at stake. The problem with this is that it will eventually desensitize both of you to the reality of divorce as it is used as a threat too often. You are already questioning whether or not to take him seriously. That's not fair to you. In my personal opinion, if he wanted to divorce you, he would have done so. You don't deserve to be threatened with divorce during disagreements just because you aren't agreeing. Guaranteed you won't agree on everything, that's just life. But you need to respect the others opinion, and avoid making disagreements/arguments a win or lose situation. Its unhealthy and unfair to both of you and your relationship together. If he wants to be married to you, he must respect the vows you took and respect you as his wife, visa versa. You both deserve happiness, love and support.
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