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How can I deal with someone that is acting like a 'diva'?

95 Answers
Last Updated: 05/22/2022 at 9:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
PaleRose12
July 9th, 2016 5:50pm
What do you mean by "Diva" you need to explain what you are dealing with please rewrite and send again.
Anonymous
October 8th, 2016 9:43am
Ignore them. Be professional, curt and civil. You can control other people's behavior, thoughts, or feelings - this means that unruly people sometimes have to be let alone so they can be unruly unto themselves.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2016 1:11pm
Understand why this behvaiour bothers you. Evaluate your behaviour. Evaluate your behaviour towards the other person. Think about what you're winning and losing from this behaviour.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 3:25am
let he live in her fantasy. ignore her ego and her own ideas about herself. let reality hit her hard in the face once she comes down the high tree she is.
indigoWest684
July 16th, 2016 10:22pm
The best way to deal with people who you might feel are behaving in a way that you don't like is to try and not get involved with there behaviour and to focus on yourself and what is best for you. We interact with people from all walks of life. We work with different people and also have friends, family members and relationships. Just as we ourselves have off days people around us also have off days but there behaviour is not our responsibility and we can only be responsible for ourselves and what we do. Just try not to worry too much or overthink and relax, be strong and don't allow it to affect your day and personal mood. Best of luck
Millichidulinas
July 13th, 2016 8:55am
If you think that she's not a "diva" just move on and go away. I mean, if you don't need this kind of person in your life just go away from her/him, if you need her just accept her/him.
IrishLauren
July 17th, 2016 8:30pm
I guess it depends on how you feel about it. I would talk to mutual friends and try to understand the reason for it.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2016 7:33pm
Keep in mind that their behavior is a result of their insecurities. They use being a diva as a defense mechanism for hiding their secret worries. Show compassion as much as possible!
kindheart14
July 13th, 2016 6:06am
You don't have to deal with her. She is the one who has to deal with it. You don't wanna worry about it until it bothers ur daily life physically or mentally. Just stay calm.
steelnerve
August 4th, 2016 6:49pm
Say something along the lines of,'I just want to have a meaningful conversation, like 2 genuine people should', if that doesn't make them get off from their high horse, consider them done and dusted, and look for someone else to talk to.
Brandi4life
August 6th, 2016 1:46am
When someone is acting like a diva they are just doing it for attention most of the time. In order to get them to stop usually the best thing to do is ignore them.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2016 12:44pm
Let her know how she is making you and others feel. If possible, stop dealing with her - let her realize her own actions are driving away her friends.
OrangeGlow
September 10th, 2016 7:48am
Divas will act like divas, because that's what they're supposed to do! Why would I even try to deal with them?
generalanesthetiics
June 13th, 2018 12:11am
If at all possible it is best to ignore those around you that act in a way you might not agree with. I have often found that the people who are the most difficult for me to get along with are those struggling the most. Be compassionate and kind but ultimately it is best to keep out of situations where it is negatively affecting you.
Apollosdaughter
April 7th, 2018 5:38am
Deal like a diva yourself too! You're much smatter than you think. And what not can you do. Ask your heart, or hear your subconscious, to get to know the right answer.
JustKiv
January 10th, 2018 9:53am
The best solution is to never entertain them. If they are behaving like a 'Diva' It is best to simply ignore them and because they are attention seekers. If you give them the attention, the worse they'll get.
Anonymous
December 1st, 2017 9:24pm
Ask yourself what their motivation is for acting like this. Almost every time, it's a "look at me!" attention-grabbing mood. The best way to discourage this behavior is to give them the opposite of what they're seeking. If they learn that this behavior gets them ignored instead of the attention they're looking for, there's a good chance they'll change it!
softCandy9279
August 22nd, 2020 9:26pm
If I think of myself in that situation, I think that the most important thing for me would be to figure out what does it mean for me that someone is acting like a 'diva'. Does it bother me? And why? What are divas like? What's it about them that I don't like? What makes me think about? What am I feeling? Do they remind me of someone I met in the past? Am I reacting to them or to the person of my past? Is there something about them that reminds me of myself? Of some part of myself that I don't like? Something that I tried so hard to change, that gave me so many problem, and then this person comes and just acts like a diva like it's no big deal. Why is it a big deal for me? That's what I would think about.
BeyondEmpathy
September 28th, 2016 11:27am
Maybe you could spend some time reflecting on what makes you think of them as a DiVA? What are the things that they do that annoy or irritate you? In the moment its your choice as whether you choose to be around them or whether you feel it best to ignore them. Though I sometimes why are their reasons to be the Diva.
TheTripleS719
September 17th, 2016 7:31am
What I do is act like a diva right back. They realize you're imitating them, and most of the time it makes them stop.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 12:24am
Ignore the diva, it may sound impossible, but that's the best thing you can do, soon enough they will get bored of it
MeeraJasmine
August 16th, 2019 10:08am
When confronted with a situation, I always like to ask the question, "Do I have to deal with this? Or would I be better off ignoring it?" I think this question might come in handy for you, my friend. There are plenty of people with attitudes that are not necessarily pleasant or that we agree with. However, we have the unique ability to choose who we associate with. Therefore, I would recommend that you simply steer clear of people whose energy and vibe you find off putting. I encourage you to find friends whose company you enjoy, and whose presence can refresh you :) Are sou forced to be in the company of this person? Simply stick to associating with them in a purely professional capacity - with respect and not much else :)
SympathyofSong
September 19th, 2019 9:21pm
Often times, many people act a certain way because they are ignorant to how they come off in others‘ perception. Often times those with high social standing let their privileges go to their head. They have tunnel vision. They only see themselves as part of the picture. When in fact we are all equal parts of our own creation. We compete for a spotlight that is already ours. Sometimes we are stuck alone for so long we don’t realize how we are behaving. Since we avoid or attack any conflict we prohibit ourselves from growing WITH each other. First step be honest with others, i know i also need a backbone.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2022 4:12pm
Hi, Sorry to hear to hear about the problem. I hear you well when you say someone is acting like a diva. One thing I think that has helped me in my experience dealing with a diva is first trying to understand why they are acting the way they are and whether any of it may be a misunderstaning. Did they understand that they're expected to do a task or perhaps could i provide my friend more help socailly by providing meaningful explanation. Could they actually coincidentally act out not understanding that it hurt me? I usually would ask more insightful questions before outright asking if they were trying to hurt me as some of my diva friends actually were trying to cause me harm. Then sometimes they are trying to hurt me and I usually had chosen to distance myself. Otherwise, keeping a record to show leaders has been useful for me personally. I hope this brings some comfort. Bests. ♥️
Anonymous
April 4th, 2019 12:38pm
Maybe take a step back and evaluate if you need or want the drama in your life. Maybe talk to the person and express how they are making you feel and ask them why the are acting this way. Some people can put up a front and act a certain way when they are going through difficult times. It may be their way of dealing with it. Show you are there for them, support if possible. But self care is important. Look after yourself and others. You could suggest this site to help them and we may be a able to help
LivewellLovemuch
December 18th, 2019 5:06am
You could try to confront them on their actions and how they are bothering you- that being said respectfully of course. By definition ( in this situation I'm guessing) a diva is a "self-important person who is temperamental and difficult to please."While these sorts of people can be extremely bothersome, it is best to try and be as patient and kind with them as possible. And as stated before, the best thing to do would be to confront them about them and how their behavior is making you feel. If they are a respectful individual they will hopefully take what you said to heart and try their best to become more self aware of their behavior and their impact on others. If said person responds negatively to what you say, it may be best to leave them some time to process and self reflect on themselves. You can't change people, only that they can do themselves. However, you can do your best to be upfront with what bothers you, and hopefully motivate them to change their behavior.
Yafet7cups
February 10th, 2019 8:31am
Be patient and helpful. Take a deep breath. Answer promptly without reserve. Be kind. Follow the golden rule, which is to treat them as you would want to be treated. No judgements but complete politeness. Do not act like you know it all but just be a great listener. Listen to every emotion that they portray in their writing. No matter the person, no matter how they act, they should always be treated fairly, compassionately, and respectfully. It'll be difficult but you should never mention the person is acting like a diva, it will anger them and you will get into an argument.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2018 2:40pm
Well, i think the best what you can do is that you don't pay attention for this person. Of course it depends on who is she/he, because if that person is your friend/relative etc., it's a bit difficult for you to avoid him/her. If that's the situation, you should talk to that person to find out why she/he acting like that and how you two can solve this situation. I'm quite sure you will figure out something. Of course the 'diva' people are annoying, but behind this behave there's something. Maybe a family problem or something else. Talk, talk, talk. That's the best way to find out!
calmWaterfall70
November 29th, 2018 6:38pm
Kill that person with kindness kindness always has a way of destroying your opponent you will see that person will don't know how react and it will have a vulnerable moment or you can give that person the silent treatment that can actualy work too to not waste your energy and time sometimes person who think they are a know it all won't actualy get tired of being argumentative so In my opinion is not really worth your time... those type of persons are very insecure inside and don't know how to deal with their insecuries so they like to feel themselfes special
RumpleSteeleSkin
July 21st, 2018 9:51pm
Respect that in them. I know- it is real hard to do this. But maybe they are very confident in their self esteem, they love themselves a whole lot!