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How do you tell your friend that you disagree with them without hurting their feelings?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 2:29pm
How do you tell your friend that you disagree with them without hurting their feelings?
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United States
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Top Rated Answers
Fiercelyalive
August 5th, 2017 2:13pm
First, it is important for you to stay calm and listen to the other person's point of you without interrupting them. Then, use "I" statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or need. Besides, avoid putting down the other person's ideas or beliefs.
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 10:03pm
I'm sorry but I disagree with you as my personal belief are different. I hope you understand that over people have different views.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 12:47am
A good friendship is built on being able to disagree and still be respectful. Just because we disagree with others, even the ones closest to us, does not mean that we are doing so to intentionally be malicious. If you're honest with your friend, they should be able to understand that you just have a different opinion, but still respect theirs.
HopieRemi
August 7th, 2016 10:21pm
The way that you can tell your friend that you disagree with them without hurting their feelings is by politely stating your opinion. You can let them know why you disagree. For example, you could just say "I am sorry, but I just don't agree with you.". it is impossible to agree with your friend every single time! It will just be a matter of how you state how you feel to your friend so you come across as respectful and mature.
emilyb1999
November 23rd, 2017 2:36pm
You shouldnt worry about not stating your opnion incase you offend someone elses as a human you have been bkessed with the rights to say how you feel
Anonymous
July 28th, 2016 6:35am
You say, "that's a good point, but what if '.....' that's also a good point also. Do you see my point of view on it, but that's just my personal opinion about it
Byron17
August 2nd, 2016 1:27am
I would ask my friend questions about the subject. If you are sceptical about a certain aspect of it, then ask them. It might shed some light on a flaw and it could give your friend a different aspect of the subject.
Zoelee
October 29th, 2016 10:12pm
People disagree with people, and this is fine. Not every two people, no matter how similar or how close they are, will have the same view. This is ok. If you disagree with your friend and do not want to hurt their feelings simply try and say it in a kind and empathetic way. State 'I do not agree with you' and explain why. By explaining why you do not agree with them, it will help them to understand your view, and they will see it is not a personal attack, but instead a view based upon reasoning. Your friend may even be open to changing their opinion after being educated, and vice versa.
Strivingforzen
October 5th, 2016 4:47am
the old statement "we are going to have to agree to disagree" is very good in this type of situation.
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 8:24pm
I just let them know that I understand their point and it's their opinion but I see things differently
lyricalPillow3807
February 25th, 2021 8:01am
1. Be kind and compassionate. Think about how you'd want to be treated in a similar situation 2. Don't Get Personal. 3. Avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs 3. Use "I" statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or need. 4. Avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs. 5. Stay calm. 6. Recognize the Good At last I say that you can tell your friend that you disagree with them without hurting their feelings is by politely stating your opinion. You can let them know why you disagree.. You say, "that's a good point, but what if '.....' that's also a good point also. What if we think of it?I hear what you are saying and I appreciate your input, and I am sensing that we both have our own unique views on this situation, No one is wrong.. but if we can make a decision together..
Anonymous
August 27th, 2017 8:08am
This can be tricky, it is about tact and choosing your words carefully, we are all different and even our closest friend or our best friend that we consider our twin, is still their own person and they will see things in their own way just like we see things in our own way. it is going to happen sometimes that we will not share the opinions of our friends, or them with us and that is ok. Just tell them you can understand or see their point of view (hopefully you can) but that you feel or see things differently than they do, but you do value their opinion. Be genuine and honest with your friend, remember they know you and if they respect you they will accept that you see things a little differently and that is ok.
Soulpath27
January 20th, 2021 10:02am
I sandwich my opinion. Like first I recognise their approach and tell them why it is ok to think like that. Then i tell my opinion by giving them another side of picture. Then i again say something positive to them. So I wrap my opinion but I say clearly what I think. 😊🥰 This way I dont deny them so they feel validated. But it is important to put myself clear too. So I never lie and agree on which I dont agree. Wrapping or switching my opinion makes it tolerable and easy to understand too. Because if i respect their opinion only then they can respect mine.🙂🥰🥰❤
Opal70
November 1st, 2019 9:08am
I hear what you are saying and I appreciate your input, and I am sensing that we both have our own unique views on this situation, and neither of us are right or wrong, we just view it from our own experiences and opinions, maybe as a result of experiencing a similar situation which may be influencing how we are seeing things so differently and I respect your opinion so lets agree to disagree? Your thoughts and feelings are very important to me as well as you and your friendship. I hope we can use this experience as a learning tool.
caringairbear
September 9th, 2020 1:42am
Validate their point of view. If you begin your conversation with a negative tone, your friend will already be on the defensive. I would start by listening to what they have to say, follow it up with "I hear you when you say XYZ and I respect your point of view. I see it differently" and explain your point of view. Even best friends and spouses do not agree 100% of the time. That is OK. It's normal for your friend to feel a little hurt or upset that you disagreed, but the way you deliver the message can be all the difference between quickly moving past it or creating tension.
Anonymous
October 8th, 2020 6:48pm
You begin with a statement like "While I heard your point, I think this also could be a possibility that...." You don't tell them a no or that you disagree with them straightforward. You show that while you disagree you still care for your friend and are just putting forth your opinion. Avoid direct statements like "You are wrong." Avoid dismissing their point but give a message that you have considered their point and after that you still feel a different way. In the end if there is no middle ground, you can always say "Lets just agree to disagree as this doesn't change the fact that we are friends and lets just respect each other's opinion and move ahead."
Anonymous
January 20th, 2021 7:52pm
Well, tell them that you disagree. The basis on why you do so and tell them that you feel no different about them, that you are not mad at them and that you are fine with agreeing on disagreeing. That having different opinions about something does not change your relationship status or change your friendship in any way. That agreeing on everything always would be ridiculous and that it's normal to feel different about some things. And that it's okay. Of course you don't have to tell them all of this. I'm mainly telling you some points that I always remind myself and others of when we have to agree to disagree. You can pick and choose what points you want to tell your friend to make sure they understand that its just as simple as not agreeing. Hope it goes well and my chat is always open to those who wants someone to talk to.
DaisyDaph
January 22nd, 2021 10:00am
People can have different opinions and that's completely fine. It's what helps us accept each other's differences and learn new things as well. When you disagree with a friend, your first instinct might be to show them that you have a different opinion/point right away. However, one way in doing so without hurting their feelings is to first try and understand or acknowledge what their opinion is and then mention your side like so: "But it could also be looked at this way..." or "It could also be like this...". That way you don't shut down what they think, you include your side as well. This way, they won't feel misunderstood.
IntuitiveJay7
August 27th, 2017 10:21pm
Always acknowledge that you understand the other person's viewpoint and how you can see the reason why they would think that way. Calmly state the reason why you disagree with your supporting facts. If they do not accept that, it's perfectly fine. The goal was to be expressive - not to make a point.
Alice
September 10th, 2016 8:30pm
One of the best ways to tell a friend that you disagree is to first acknowledge their side of the topic/situation. In doing so, you show that their feelings and beliefs are valuable. Once you've validated their opinion, you can gently explain your side of the issue. Make sure you keep the tone of your conversation neutral. It's important to understand that everyone's opinion is important. You might just learn something new by discussing your opinion with a friend -- and you might just change your mind!
carefreeRose6190
September 27th, 2020 8:56pm
Make sure that you explain to your friend that you are trying to explain your point of view. Include that this is your opinion and your opinion only. Make sure to use "I" statements and not to use "you" statements. Say things like "I think this because..." or "I feel this way because...". Try to avoid saying things like "You are doing this and it's a horrible idea." It is also important to use a soft, balanced tone so that your friend will not feel attacked in any way by your statement. Try to explain how you could see their point of view and then go on to try and explain yours.
CandyCure
August 7th, 2020 4:05pm
Disagreeing with a friend can cause some tension. I would go about this by using "I" statements, giving points and clarifying, before making your point, that your standpoint has nothing to do with them. If it's something that personally triggers them, I would try not to debate or chat about it but emphasizing your feelings and beliefs as a separate thing and that you still care about them despite not sharing the same viewpoints. Disagreeing might be stressful for them because of how they view it. Therefore, if you disagree with them, it could trigger feelings of not being the same and being on a different page. This matters because friends are normally a group of similar people. Just analyzing.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2020 12:42pm
Every friendship is going to have disagreements. The important thing is that everyone understands that we all have different life experiences so that our views will be different. It's fine to think differently than other people. By all means, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I disagree with my friends on all sorts of topics, but it's a matter of "I hear what you are saying, I do not agree with you, but that's okay. " The focus should be on the overall friendship and allowing room for differences of opinion when respectfully done as opposed to a mindset of "my way is the only or right way, and if you don't think like me then you're wrong"
Anonymous
August 16th, 2020 6:40pm
It's complicated to disagree with someone without some form of conflict, but wanting to avoid hurting them is a good thing. Though I can't answer specifically, like most conversations being respectful and wording your responses to sound as polite and understanding as possible can greatly improve the chances of not hurting your friends feelings. Always take time to understand their point and why they may feel that way before formulating an unconfrontational repsonse giving your own view, however different it is to there's. Just aim to be understanding and refrain from saying anything insulting or harmful if anger arises in yourself.
BubblyBrit
August 20th, 2020 8:30am
Show that you understand their perspective on the topic and present why you disagree, without making it a personal issue. For example, I understand why you believe blue is the best colour, but for me, i like purple because its the colour of my favourite dress. By showing that you understand why they have that view, it presents respect for their view and so their feelings will not be hurt. It all comes down to choice of words essentially. Hopefully they will understand but then again it comes down the topic in question. If it is something they are very passionate about or something you cannot debate on calmly. Then simply say "i disagree with you on ____ due to ____. But this does not affect our friendship nor the respect i have for you". Hope this helps :)
Dalladi
April 2nd, 2022 6:51am
Telling a friend that you disagree with them without hurting their feelings may be challenging at first. Like riding a bike, any new skill will feel odd and even wrong. Fortunately there are training wheels and helmets, and people there to help...and you are obviously smart enough to ask for help so good for you! A true friend will know these things about you and not hold a grudge or difference of opinion if it’s shared lovingly, respectfully and with an understanding that everyone is different and entitled to what they think, feel and believe. Be kind and open, speak calmly and clearly and before you know it’s you’ll be much more comfortable sharing your opinions with your true friends.
WhalienFiftyTwo
September 20th, 2020 3:12am
To avoid offending someone, the point of your statement should be to make the other person understand from YOUR point of view - not for you to challenge THEIR view. You can show that you're disagreeing with them without making it too straightforward, like saying "I disagree" . Whenever my friends give an opinion I don't agree with, I start by saying "However, I think ______ , you understand what I'm saying?" and so on. If the other person is someone who might get offended easily, I try to show that I respect - and maybe even agree with to an extent - their opinion (if possible). To prevent any lingering negative feelings, I usually change the subject of the conversation to a more positive topic once the disagreement part is over - so the other person knows what I think, but hopefully won't have hard feelings later.
warmcupofhotcocoa88
September 24th, 2020 7:24pm
Be honest! Being honest is much better than not, if you were to lie about your opinion, it may be more hurtful in the end. The best way to say something without hurting their feelings is to be kind, and never enforce your opinion on someone, don't be rude and/or condecending in anyway, just be you and simpily give your honest opinion! If you feel you struggle with this alot you can always talk to me about it. I've struggled with the same issues when I used to surround myself with negative people who suppressed my opinions, however now I've gained the confidence in myself to tell how I see situtations and my opinions and you can too!
FrostWire
September 25th, 2020 2:35pm
Hiya; I'm FrostWire, your supporting listener. Your question is very important. How does one tell a friend that they disagree without hurting them emotionally? Some people are unbothered by criticism an love persuasion if it's coming from a friend. But that's just some, not everyone is the same as another; one has to ask the most appropriate questions mentally an quickly sometimes when dealing with things as such. If one is to slow, you could look like a fibber; if one is to quick, you could look like a know it all. Arguments within relations as friends can very well be both good and bad too. So, i believe we should do our best to steer clear of confrontation if possible. But then theirs a chance of a friend needing a tough friend. Take my own story for reasoning, okay? Me an a friend were living together. This friend of mines has a temper problem to this day. One day as we work throughout the city we came home to the apartment an my friend got into a big argument with his spouse that caused my friend to put a big hole in the wall. I immediately stepped in to address the problem my friend was creating for us because i disagreed with his logic on stress release. One action deserves another. In return for my honesty, my friend left in the car. I was able to patch the hole over time an even teach my friend a new skill.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2020 10:40am
I would tell them that their feelings and opinions are valid and real, but so are mine. Nobody is going to always 100% agree on everything, even the best of friends. Having different opinions is okay, it is what makes us human and different. I would also say that disagreeing on something won't have an effect on the friendship/relationship unless it was something huge such as part of your morals or beliefs, but even then people have differing opinions, it is normal to not always agree with the people around you but rather accept and embrace the differences and support one another.