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bluePineapple9573 profile picture
Feeling rather alone and inadequate
by bluePineapple9573
Last post
8 hours ago
...See more For the past year I’ve been increasingly involved in helping my elderly father. He lives independently and in his own home, and is physically fairly healthy, but he has been having difficulties with memory (finances, schedules), with sleeping, and with pain.  We are a very small family, and there are no other family members living near him. Although my sister and I live far away, both of us have homes where he could live with us—and we try to make Dad feel wanted and welcome at either home. He says he prefers to live independently. So we helped him find a retirement community near my sister’s house, and he seems to be willing… but keeps bringing up obstacles. Meanwhile I see him struggling more and more with life’s challenges. I was able to put my work on hold for a while, and have been spending weeks at a time with him, helping around the house, going to medical appointments, helping keep up the schedule and trying to keep his spirits up. As I help more, I sense he’s becoming more dependent on my constant presence. But he denies that he needs help, and if I bring up the idea of hiring someone, he dismisses it. I love Dad, and want to support him. I know this is all incredibly hard for him too. But it overwhelms me sometimes. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and isolation. I miss my home, my partner, my own community. I’m an introvert, and have had trouble making connections here. I was glad to find this forum. Wondering if anyone else out there has experienced similar situation? Any advice on finding help and support? I do have a therapist I meet with periodically via Zoom, and I have read several books about family caregiving. 
EarthySage profile picture
Mentally Exhausted
by EarthySage
Last post
August 10th
...See more I am always in a state of hyper vigilance, I ruminate every conversation. I see patterns in people and my nervous system always feels in high alert. I read people beyond what they show me on the surface. I read situations which are usually correct. I come from a family of users, my mom displays histrionic and narcissistic traits and she lacks boundaries. It affects me even when I remove myself from the family. She had set sights on my fiance and she finds him attractive, she is highly manipulative and it’s affected my relationship. Now she wants what I have (like she does with anyone in our family) it’s harmed my mind and I can’t separate. I can’t connect with my fiance anymore, now she wants him I feel like I don’t. I have seen things play out with other family members with her so I stayed single for 14 years after she ruined my first relationship. Even though my fiance has done no wrong, he has a problem with setting boundaries and I see threats all the time in everything. I also was r*ped by her nephew whilst I was asleep years ago. This wwe after my mom had been making obscene accusations against her sisters. I felt like he hurt me because she hurt his mom. She’s betrayed me time and time again, telling lies about what happened to me. She harms everyone she comes into contact with. she has also tried to ruin my only relationship I have with my cousin (who I consider as my big brother) accusing him of being inappropriate with my daughter (which is completely untrue as I have spoken with both of them) what my mom does is so damaging. I know I have cptsd and I’m currently working with a therapist. my mind is so broken and I don’t know what to dos I avoid everything in life now, I don’t go out. I don’t see my fiance in person. I don’t trust anything anymore and I feel like it would be better for those close to me that I wasn’t around anymore
GnomedBinary profile picture
How to Support Someone with Impaired Thermoregulation
by GnomedBinary
Last post
June 11th
...See more I thought I'd make this thread because there's not too much info on this condition or how to manage it. I unfortunately have to live with this condition daily - so this "guide" is for caretakers who have clients who have it as well. There is unfortunately not enough research to diagnose this condition, impaired thermoregulation isn't always a result of heart or thyroid issues. Certain medications can contribute to symptoms but might not be the direct cause. Everyone experiences this condition differently and will have different tolerances, I am in no way suggesting you use me as a baseline - but this insight could help with supporting others with the same condition. Misconceptions * Impaired thermoregulation is NOT always a result of being overweight, but it can be a contributing factor - don't always assume it is. * Impaired thermoregulation is NOT always caused by thyroid or heart conditions, but can be triggered by existing ones. * Impaired thermoregulation DOES contribute to lack of exercise motivation - heavy workouts, chores or other activities are more difficult as a result of the body not being able to maintain a consistent core temperature. * Impaired thermoregulation CAN be managed to decrease symptoms but not neutralize them. Risks * Dehydration - Individuals are more prone to dehydration and should be drinking more than the recommended water intake. * Heatstroke - individuals with this condition are more likely to experience heatstroke or similar symptoms, even in warm climates. * Hypothermia - Individuals with this condition are more likely to become hypothermic in cold environments and should dress warm, however layers should be easily removable to prevent overheat. * Regulation Failure - A situation where the body is experiencing symptoms of the mentioned above and becomes confused. The body will feel as if it is experiencing both hot and cold temperatures simultaneously regardless of actual recorded body temperature. * Sweating - This is a common side-effect of this condition and can cause rapid dehydration. Supports * Never try to cool down/warm up someone with this condition yourself, episodes often provide sensory overload and overstimulation can make things worse. * Remind people with this condition to stay hydrated. (Sometimes people forget) * Take note of their temperature tolerances, room temperature and weather. Outdoor spaces should always have access to shade, if none is available - limit time spent outdoors if the weather becomes intolerant. * Plan activities or games that can be done indoors, people with this condition will likely be introverts and won't want to go outside often. (But should be encouraged to, but not forced) * Never adjust climate controls/thermostat without asking, sudden temperature changes can trigger symptoms. Obviously take all of this with a grain of salt, I'm not a doctor and sometimes I'm wrong. But hopefully this helps someone better understand this condition.
straightforwardPeach6565 profile picture
Parent Has a Chronic Illness
by straightforwardPeach6565
Last post
May 6th
...See more My mom is suffering from Gastroperesis and some other issues.  She is no longer eating solid foods. I am currently trying to help. her as much as I can. The problem is she is constantly angry and frustrated because she says she does not want to feel old. She guilts the rest of us for eating around her and refuses to go to things that has food. When she does go, she is just angry. She is constantly eating things she shouldn't which makes her not feel well and she gets cranky. I am getting so overwhelmed and I don't know how to deal with this all the time. I feel like I am constantly on edge. I can tell my dad is frustrated with constantly living on the edge and I really don't know what to do anymore. 
forcefulLychee4358 profile picture
Dating as a Caregiver
by forcefulLychee4358
Last post
February 20th
...See more I worked out of town in Hawaii  for a month. I took my brother with Down syndrome with me who I take care of now. My girlfriend came to join us 2 weeks later during her break from work. It was a 1 bed-1 bath apartment. My brother slept in the living room and I The bedroom  On day 2 she got very sick. I’m talking fever, ears plugged, cold. She said she couldn’t get out of bed. I got home after a night shift and she told me she was going to stay at a hotel for one night to recover and rest in her own space. My brothers toys were all over the living room floor and I noticed he left poop on top of the toilet seat. I was sad but I understood.  My brother and I SOBBED after we dropped her off at her hotel. I felt so lonely and completely ABANDONED by her. I was so angry at her even though I supported her through it. I offered to pay her hotel but she declined.  She came home after one night as promised and we had a wonderful rest of our trip. But I can’t let go of the anger I felt. She’s been so supportive of us. My brother came into the picture 3 months after dating. He absolutely loves her.  I finally told her 2 months later how I really felt about it and she got so upset and defensive. Please any advice! 
Hope profile picture
Exploring the impact of caregiving in a family setting
by Hope
Last post
December 6th, 2025
...See more Hi All! I am back with another post on the topic of family. Last time we discussed what family means to us. Today we will talk about the importance of caregivers in a family setting. To ensure we are on the same page, caregiver is a a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a child or a sick, elderly, or disabled person. Are you or someone you know in the role of a caregiver? How has it impacted your or their life?
pandanfe profile picture
Dear Caregivers, What is that one thing that keeps you going with everything you do as a caregiver?
by pandanfe
Last post
December 1st, 2025
...See more Be it caregiving to your family, child, seniors, family or friends... there's always something that keeps us moving forward. What is it that lets you nurture the people who depend on you, even in your hard times? For me, the love they reflect back to me is what makes me keep going.  Reminder: In the process of caregiving, don't forget to take care of yourself. You're equally important 💛
Hope profile picture
Balancing Caregiving and the Holiday season
by Hope
Last post
November 24th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone! The holiday season can be a mixed one to start with, some like, some dislike it but most find some joy, some stress in it.  For caregivers, it can also be a stressful juggling act. Balancing caregiving duties with holiday traditions can feel overwhelming, leaving you drained and burnt out Here are some tips to navigate the festive season with grace and self-care: * Prioritize meaningful moments with your loved ones and delegate or simplify tasks wherever possible. Remember, the most important gift you can give is your presence, not perfect meals. * Discuss your limitations and expectations with your family and loved ones. Enlist their help in decorating, cooking, or running errands. They want to support you, but they can't read your mind! * Explore festive virtual events or create new traditions that cater to your loved one's needs and your energy levels. * Schedule breaks for yourself, even if it's just a quick walk around the block or a solo cup of tea. Respite is essential to avoid burnout and recharge your caregiving batteries. * Don't be afraid to delegate tasks or ask for help. Whether it's hiring a grocery delivery service or getting a friend to wrap presents, accepting support frees up your time and energy for what truly matters. Remember, the holidays are for everyone, including caregivers! By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing the joy, you can create a festive season that's filled with love, laughter, and happy memories for you and your loved ones. How do you navigate caregiving during the holiday season?
crimsonRaspberries1486 profile picture
Who’s worked in a nursing home?
by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
September 21st, 2025
...See more I worked I a nursing home my shift started at 2:30 ended at maybe 3am I’d work six to seven days no time off and I loved it. But from my experience when you work in that kind of field you pick up certain traits I guess you can call it? I can’t think of the proper terminology, anyways your always waiting for your pager to go off and you RUSH to where you are needed as if it is life or death, that kind of overwhelming anxiety in your gut. I’m sure I’m not the only one who still suffers from it but it’s just affecting how I manage to do things. Is there some sort of cure for it, a way to manage?
CDanielle profile picture
Caregiving ups and downs
by CDanielle
Last post
April 6th, 2025
...See more Hi there! I take care of my blind father with dementia and my wheelchair bound mother, all by myself. They can do a lot for themselves still, amazingly, yet needless to say Im stressed. I need my own job too, but no time. They take care of my needs for now. I have pretty severe anxiety so its not like Im one of those lucky people who are energizer bunnies with a gusto for life, though I do love my life. I am trying and it is my kitties, my fur babies, that keep me going when it gets hard. I so much wish to find others who are in or have been in, similar situations. Thank you for listening. :-)
Lifer profile picture
Elderly Parent
by Lifer
Last post
April 4th, 2025
...See more I have been supporting my mom for the past 4 years. My brother wanted her put in a home or assisted living facility. She wanted to stay in her house. I did whatever I could to help her achieve that. But now she's in need of more support. She talks about dying all of the time. She's so depressed and bored and lonely. Unfortunately my brother can't handle the stress so he doesn't support her. I love 1000 miles away and do all that I can to support her. I think it's time she move closer to me. She thinks it's time but she doesn't want to. It's *** trying to understand what she wants and then trying to support her desires. I want to travel and live my life. I don't want to be burdened by her yet I want her safe and happy. All she wants is to stay in her house but be closer to me. (Impossible!)
HiddenSwan25 profile picture
An Unexpected Trigger
by HiddenSwan25
Last post
March 29th, 2025
...See more **Trigger Warning**Dementia**Alzheimers** I don't know if we are allowed to talk about celebrities or not on 7 Cups, but I recently felt triggered by something in the news and I just can't seem to get past it. The Hackmans. Of course, I didn't know them, except the movies he made, and that certainly wasn't "him" but, you see, my dad got Alzheimers after a surgery (the anesthesia) and he suffered for 8 years until his death. My mother was his caregiver and she suffered greatly as well. I have also had friends who had differing degrees of dementia. I cannot imagine the anguish his wife must have felt, I'm sure she realized in the end that the inevitable was happening, and the terror/confusion that poor man must have gone through. I am almost feeling a grief as if members of my own family had succumbed to that fate. The only thing, I guess that could soften this is, is that they are now both in the arms of God, and safe, loved, and cared for. 😢

Family & Caregivers


Welcome to Family & Caregivers! This is a supportive space to share your thoughts and experiences.

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