The Harm from Toxic Positivity
✨Hay you wonderfuls!✨
Today, I want to talk about toxic positivity and the harm it causes.
It’s so ingrained in society that it feels natural, and often we think we’re helping by using it.
But the truth is, it doesn’t help 🙂↔️
While optimism can be healthy, forcing positivity invalidates emotions and blocks authentic coping.
to stay upbeat no matter what.
Whilst dismissing or suppressing difficult emotions like sadness or overwhelm, even grief or anger.
😔Which is far from being healthy.
“Just stay positive”, “Everything happens for a reason”, “It will get better, don’t worry so much about it”,
“Good vibes only,” or my personal non-favorite “It could be worse”. 🙄
These may be well-intentioned, but they dismiss real feelings and can harm both others and ourselves.
🚫Toxic positivity isn’t real support🚫
🤔Why is it harmful?
🔺 It invalidates emotions, making us feel guilty or weak for having them.
🔺It blocks healthy coping, leaving us unable to process difficult emotions and work through our struggles.
It discourages us from working through them.
🔺It worsens mental health, increasing anxiety, depression, and isolation.
🔺It discourages vulnerability, leading to shallow rather than genuine connections.
🔺It replaces empathy with dismissal, leaving people unheard.
and they should just stop talking about what they’re going through.
Acknowledge struggles: Validate that emotions, both good and bad, all emotions are natural.
Use balanced optimism: Pair hope with honesty, e.g., “I’m sorry you’re struggling.
Check language: Avoid dismissive phrases; instead, say, “I hear you, this sounds difficult.”
Create space: Allow room for both joy and sorrow, it builds resilience and genuine connection.
Tl;dr: Toxic positivity is harmful because it silences real emotions, blocks healing, and isolates people. True well-being comes from embracing the full spectrum of human feelings, both light and dark.
🤔Looking at the 'Swap List' above,
💓🐑💓 Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, I hope this helps you 💓🐑💓
Many thanks to @Heather225 for encouraging me and helping me out!
✨💙✨
@AnnaSilverberg
OMG these are really thoughtful ❤️
@burningspiritual1only
@AnnaSilverberg
Love this, I've often found platitudes said with out feeling to be insulting or at least demoralising.
@AnnaSilverberg
@AnnaSilverberg I do like good vibes only as I hate when people dump their insecurities onto you.
Anna I feel naturally if you are a highly anxious person you’ll attract those who are also like that.
if you aren’t then you will attract those with more growth mindset.
I think it’s about processing the emotions with the right person and when we do support what is our motivation and intention. Is it for people to tell us we are great or that we are giving the individual scope to reflect?
And about everything happening for a reason, I don’t view that as toxic. Perhaps it’s a more rational take. When it comes to interactions we can say things or others have said it to us that brings about something in our own life we haven’t addressed or are trying to hide. Sometimes people don’t know your pain.
Thank you for your post and sharing how you think, feel.
I’m happy you and Heather have a solid trusted connection. ❤️🌷
Take care Anna.
I think Anna’s post isn’t about whether anyone is allowed to prefer “good vibes,” but about what happens in real moments of pain when someone reaches out and receives a slogan instead of listening and being heard in their pain.
We’re here to support each other, not to tell anyone their feelings are wrong or too much. It’s a privilege if someone chooses to share their insecurities with you. They’re not dumping, they’re reaching for understanding. And maybe the most positive thing you can do is to not judge them, not try to change them, just be with them in it.
@AnimaIntegrata The response isn’t directly about Anna ❤️
@JasGab200519970
💚
@AnnaSilverberg
Just to tease you, but
This display of fonts, colours and emojis is a perfect example of positivity. I would not call it "toxic", but it does make the reading somewhat difficult to me. I am much older than you probably, but your valuable message looks practically like a Hallmark card to me.
@Fradiga
different colors and emoji helps break up lot words make lot easier read with disabilities have learning disabilities and adhd and can read this but whole page plain writing brain skip most
@theboymoana
Then maybe the message is too long?
@Fradiga
idk what you mean
@theboymoana$
We can agree to disagree on our individual tastes. You like this decorated text while I do not appreciate it as much.
The way I see it is that there is nothing wrong with a few important highlights and a couple of emojis, but in the end, how serious does the text look like? It looks to me as if the author spent more time prettifying here message than writing the message itself.
That is my own point of view. 😊 You are welcome to yours!!
@Fradiga
no isn’t agree to disagree is facts that break stuff up make obvious different sections make more easy people with disabilities and stuff able read that facts so is ok you don’t like but not have agree disagree when just your opinion
also anyone know Anna know she put whole heart in anything write so judge by how look just make people miss out very good things
@theboymoana
So there you have it. When people have different opinions; they often agree to disagree. English speakers got the idea from one of the founders of Methodism.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agree_to_disagree#:~:text=Origin,a%20less%20essential%20nature%20...
@Fradiga
no don’t agree to disagree don’t like that when know fact things
@Fradiga
Lol. I agree, Fradiga. Maybe it is an "old person" thing.
The content is still valuable though, Anna, even if it's popping out of the page like a starburst! ha ha
@Fradiga
Hey there Fradiga,
I am sorry that you find it difficult reading the text,
I can provide you with a document that has the text uncolored if you want.
The reason for why I use colors and emojis is because that's kind of a person I am.
If you struggle with believing that, feel free to look at my earlier posts 🙂
Personally, I really struggle with reading text that doesn't interest me from the get go,
which is a common struggle for those with ADHD or Autism or other reading disorders as well.
So, I tailor this towards those who can benefit from having an easier time reading this.
My thought is that those who can read the text that is all black can
most likely read it as well when it's colored and broken up with all the emojis.
Maybe it's an age thing, maybe it's just preference, maybe this message is decorated
in a way that a Hallmark card would be,
I wouldn't know since we don't have those here in Iceland🤷♀️
The most important part is that the message gets through.
I hope that you were able to enjoy the reading even though it has colors,
which I must mention does not have anything to do with toxic positivity,
I'm unsure how you go about making that connection, so if you can, please explain 🙂
✨💙✨
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@AnnaSilverberg
I am not a psychology professional at all, so I have no idea if all these different fonts and colours help those with ADHD or autism. When people used to write correspondence or documents by hand or with a typewriter, the text was plain. CAPs and underline was the only way to highlight anything. Maybe I should ask my sister with dyslexia if she finds your style helpful. I'll let you know. I do have a 12-year old grandson who might agree with you as well.
Hallmark greeting cards are now more and more a thing of the past. They were sold in every USA drugstore in particular. I am not very familiar with Icelandic culture - though I remember the bank crisis 15 years back, the eruption of a volcano about the same time whose name no one can pronounce or remember unless you are from Iceland itself, and the fact that Icelanders are BIG book readers.
@Fradiga
Hi, hi! Thank you for continuing the conversation and sharing your perspective on how communication has evolved over time.
It is always interesting to see how different generations and cultures approach technology and text. At 7 Cups, one of our core values is inclusivity, which means recognizing that our community is made up of people with a wide variety of processing styles and needs.
While plain text is a classic standard, many members find that colors, emojis, and specific spacing are vital tools for engagement, especially those navigating neurodiversity like ADHD or certain visual processing differences. What might look like "decoration" to one person can actually be a functional roadmap for another to stay focused and connected to the message.
Our goal is to ensure that everyone feels welcome to express themselves in the way that feels most authentic to them, while also making sure information is accessible to as many people as possible. We appreciate you being part of this dialogue and helping us explore how we can all communicate better together!
@Heather225
As you might imagine (those of you who know me), I appreciate the discussion. Fradiga, and I can see both side of it. I'm wondering if this is a generational thing. I have ADHD but find the colors distracting, myself. I find that people younger that myself can handle way more input and stimuli all at once than I can (and maybe need it?), and they can process it faster. Ask me to play their games on a phone, or watch endlessly repeating snips of videos, and I am quickly overwhelmed. Culture just seems to keep going in that sort of direction. We - or at least I - learned to process in a different way. In any case, that might have something to do with the ways colors and emojis have different impacts on us. Sometimes things just change.
@Fradiga @AnnaSilverberg @Heather225 @theboymoana
@JustSophia
Whoops. I meant "I appreciate the discussion and can see both sides of it. Fradiga..."
Means something different so had to post the correction.
@AnnaSilverberg
I totally agree on that one anna. As an ADHD person I need it colored and broke down to keep my attention on it lolll
@AnnaSilverberg
Thank you for posting this. And thanks for using the colorful font.
I'm really glad that you liked the post and all the colors 🤗
✨💙✨
@AnnaSilverberg
It reminded me of candies 😁
I need to work on this, I have a bad habit of consistently being toxic with my positivity.
@RickestRick86
It's great to hear that you're aware and invested in growth for others' sake. Thank you.
@RickestRick86
Well, have people complained to you?
I wouldn’t say anyone has directly complained to me, I only know I have bad habits of using all the toxic positivity phrases. I think I’m trying to help and be supportive but I’m unintentionally causing ***.
@RickestRick86
You might have learned them too well. Don't be hard on yourself! Young adults try to play by the rules that everyone seems to want to follow. When we mature, we make adjustments from experience until one day, we are clear about them rules.
A ton of social rules have already changed from when I was much younger. At 73 now and a family matriarch, I am keeping up.... up to a point.
I need to work on this, I have a bad habit of consistently being toxic with my positivity.
Thank you for posting this!
@AnnaSilverberg
thank you for posting this we dealing with deaths in the family tired of being told look on the bright side pull self up by boot strings and other things like that find it unhelpful
not use to feeling emotions so saying like them push us back into unhealthy ways
so we thankful for your post
