Part III: Paddling Alongside Others
In Part 3 of the Way of the River series, learn what it means to journey with others - to paddle beside them, not for them.
This part is about the art of compassionate connection: drawing from your own experiences, believing in others, and recognizing that our cracks and scars are often the bridges that connect us.
Take your time - this section invites gentle reflection. As you move through the material, notice how empathy deepens when we listen, share our light, and let others steer their own path. Our private group is a safe place to explore these ideas together.
How to Participate
1) Read the slides for Part 3: Paddling Alongside Others
2) Reflect on the questions and activities after each section.
3) Share your reflections in this thread - you can answer all the reflection time questions in this space. Spend some time reading everyone else’s thoughts too to learn from everyone else.
Questions
These are the questions which you will find. Answering them after pausing on the relevant section they appear will be helpful. We do recommend trying to answer all of the questions, but if you would like, you can choose to answer any 3 publicly!
When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?
How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?
Narrative Therapy Exercise: How did it feel?
List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you
Part 3: Closing Reflections:
What was one nugget that stood out to you from this part?
Think of a time someone truly "believed" in you. How did that feel? If comfortable, please share that story and try to capture how it changed you or impacted you? If that person was a chapter in your life. What would you call that chapter?
This post is part 3 of The Way of the River Series. Find the complete information and all related posts here
Theory does not heal but connection does. The Wounded Healer is the heart of the 7 Cups peer support model. Our room is where we pool our invisible surplus of empathy to keep the whole fleet afloat and ensure no one paddles alone.
Apply to join the exclusive closed group here and kayak together!
@GlenM
Death is a profound and universal aspect. It is not just an eternal end, but a transition of a larger cycle of life. This perspective brings a sense of mystery and comfort, reminding us to cherish each moment and live with intention. It's a view that can inspire hope and a profound sense of purpose.
My reflections on death are of fear. I understand that understanding the concept of death often deepens appreciation for things like relationships, kindness, and the meaningfulness of our actions. It's a powerful motivator, challenging us to confront our fears, find acceptance, and consider what legacy we want to leave behind.
My thoughts on death lead me to view it as a natural, yet inevitable part of life, even though I have a phobia of death. This perspective can inspire us to live more fully, with compassion and a clear sense of purpose, and to embrace the profound and universal aspects of the human experience.
@ScorpiaD if you like this concept/idea, I'd highly recommend the Denial of Death by Ernest Becker. It can be a little challenging, but it is profound.
@GlenM
Part 2: Questions
When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?
I once had a mentor who didn’t try to fix me, but simply sat with me in silence when I was unraveling. Their presence alone reminded me I didn’t need to earn care—I just needed to receive it. That moment shifted how I approached others: less fixing, more witnessing.
How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?
In Part 5, I shared: “Years of feeling unseen taught me to notice the quiet ones—the ones who shrink themselves to survive. Now, I make space for them. I listen for what’s not said. My own ache became a tuning fork for empathy.” That ache—rooted in growing up as a caregiver to a disabled parent—shaped how I perceive the world. Point 4 deeply resonated with me because it helped me understand how those early experiences wired me to find comfort in helping roles, both personally and professionally. But what once felt like a survival strategy has become a gift: I now recognize the invisible weight others carry, especially those who don’t know how to ask for help. Points 8, 9, and 15 were especially challenging for me. I’ve always known how to show up for others, but when it came to myself, I felt lost. I could offer compassion outwardly, but inwardly I struggled to extend the same grace. That disconnect taught me something vital: the people who seem strong and self-sufficient often need the most gentle witnessing. So now, when I support others, I don’t just offer help—I offer presence. I don’t paddle for them, I paddle beside them. My own history of over-functioning and emotional invisibility became the lens through which I see others more clearly. It’s not just empathy—it’s recognition.
Narrative Therapy Exercise: How did it feel?
Imagining my own eulogy was unsettling at first, but then clarifying. It made me ask: what legacy am I living into now? It helped me see that the way I show up in small moments—how I listen, how I love—is the story I’m already writing.
It felt like standing outside myself, watching the story unfold with both grief and grace. Imagining how others might speak of me softened my inner critic. It reminded me that legacy isn’t built on perfection—it’s built on presence.
List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you
Losing a role I deeply identified with felt like failure. But that space—uncomfortable and raw—became fertile ground. It pushed me to redefine worth beyond productivity and led me to peer support, where connection mattered more than credentials.
Part 3: Closing Reflections:
What was one nugget that stood out to you from this part?
“We paddle beside them, not for them.” That line reframed everything. It reminded me that true support honors autonomy. Compassion isn’t rescue—it’s presence.
Think of a time someone truly "believed" in you. How did that feel?
Someone once told me, “You make people feel safe just by being you.” I didn’t believe it then and I didn't know I needed to hear that until it happened , but I carry it now like a lantern. It felt like being handed a mirror that reflected not just who I was, but who I was becoming.
@Ivy229 thank you for sharing these reflections. you make a very good point - when we are safe, then others can also feel safe in our presence. i am glad that your mentor was able to model that for you and that you, in turn, have passed on that same gift to others.
I am also glad that you underlined the boundary point. We are responsible TO people - to treat them with dignity and respect - but we are not responsible FOR them. this can be a hard lesson to learn!
@Ivy229
I am just getting to these so apologies for the late reactions. Reading through your reflections, I felt a real sense of relief for you. There is something so grounded about the way you have turned the ache of your past into a tool for empathy. It is clear that growing up as a caregiver gave you a secondary language where you can hear what isn't being said. While that came from a place of survival, the way you have nurtured it into a gift for others is really special.
I think your realization about paddling beside rather than paddling for is such a vital one. It is a hard transition to make when you are naturally wired to be a fixer, but there is so much dignity in simply witnessing someone. Your mentor gave you a real gift by just sitting in the silence with you, and it is moving to see how you are now paying that forward to the people who feel they have to shrink just to exist.
It also feels very honest of you to share the struggle of extending that same grace to yourself. We often become experts at building shelters for everyone else while we are still standing out in the rain, but your exercise with the eulogy shows that you are starting to see your own worth through a much kinder lens. Your legacy is clearly in that lantern you carry, and the fact that you make people feel safe just by being there. Thank you for sharing these insights!
@Ivy229 Thank you for your super deep reflections
I really connect with this “I didn’t need to earn care—I just needed to receive it” and how people connect with you when you show imperfection ❤️🌸
I hope you are taking it more easy on yourself and continue to grow. May you have more growth in the vital fruits for expression 🍇🍓🍉
@GlenM
When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?
When I was 13, a schoolteacher moved in next door.
At the time, my life was pretty much a nonstop nightmare. Between ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, PTSD, depression, abscessed teeth, reoccurring strep throat and ear infections, I was an absolute mess. Despite multiple evaluations revealing a high IQ, I was failing every class.
The schoolteacher looked past all of my issues, and treated me as though he genuinely enjoyed my company. I have no doubt that he knew what I was going through, and also that I had locked myself into a shell, and had no interest in talking about my problems with anyone.
He treated me with genuine respect. We got around to discussing things about life that got pretty deep for 13-year-old. Sometimes he invited me over to share a pizza and watch Star Trek. He took me on a few outings, such as visiting Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, or browsing RadioShack. Sometimes, we acted like juvenile ***, for example, belching out sentences into a tape recorder.
Without addressing any issues or problems, the friendship itself was an act of compassion. It also planted seeds of hope, with regard to eventually developing a measure of self-confidence and efficacy.
How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?
It's hard to pick out a single "something." If you look at my life as a 13-year-old, what you are seeing is a partial list of adversities. I was also beaten, molested, neglected, and deeply affected by the mental illness in my family. In addition, there was such poverty that we faced eviction several times. I was an "emotional eater," with access to low nutritional value but high-fat and starch content foods. I was the "class fat kid." I was also very sensitive and reactive. Up until middle age, I struggled with my weight, gaining and losing massive amounts. About 18 years ago, I lost it all, and have kept it off ever since.
The above is still just a partial list of "somethings" that have hurt me. Those things have also been instruments of wisdom, and empathy. As a listener, even long before discovering 7 cups, such a combination of past experiences, has enabled me to find much of what I hear to be highly relatable. In short, the experience of pain brings with it increased capacity to express empathy and compassion.
Funeral
Exercise
Wife:
"He was always completely faithful, which was something I needed after having my heart broken."
"When he made decisions, he listened to his heart."
"When I was anxious or insecure, he was able to make me feel calm and safe."
Child:
"He was honest, but nonjudgmental."
"He was able to see the good in me, even when I was acting in ways I wasn't proud of."
"He was always willing to help."
Friend:
"I learned a lot from him, especially regarding his creativity and work ethic."
"He could fix just about anything. Often, he would do it for free."
"He always offered good advice, and was willing to admit not knowing something."
Narratives to help us re-imagine
It sounds like the starting point for any creative effort, including re-imagining ourselves.
I remember an episode of the "Dog Whisperer." He was dealing with a very cringing and fearful dog. The dog walked with his tail between his legs, ears flat, and head lowered. Caesar reached down, grabbed his tail and pulled it up, and then he raised the dog's head. Essentially, he was requiring the dog to assume a confident pose. Incredibly, the dog began acting more confident! Caesar kept adjusting the dog’s pose, and after a few days, the dog assumed the confident pose on his own, and was indeed more confident.
The same principle – "assuming the pose," usually works for humans too. Many feel resistant to this approach, believing it to be acting, or being an impostor. I have two thoughts regarding this. The first is, it's not possible to "assume the pose," unless that capability genuinely exists within. That being true, means that having "assumed the pose," we are pretending to be who, in reality, we are.
The second thought is, what I might call "emotional entrainment." It's really pretty close to the above principle, but it involves visualization, better yet, meditative visualization. If the visualization is allowed to manifest related emotions, and even other senses, it unlocks our power to manifest self change.
List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you.
I was driving my 1961 Buick on the freeway, during a snowstorm, and the fuel pump died. My brother was with me. For much of the time, he was a chronic complainer, judging everyone and everything negatively.
I didn't know which was worse, dealing with a dead car in a snowstorm, or having to put up with my brother’s yammering. By the way, did I mention that this happened on a Sunday, and that part of the freeway was a lonely stretch between Flint and Pontiac Michigan.
I tried to brace myself emotionally for a long walk in the snow, while enduring my brother’s perpetual whining, and then find no source of help or warmth. The first brick -shaped cell phones were still 15 years in the future.
Incredibly, instead of whining, my brother started acting cheerful. He made jokes. He talked about a movie we had watched, among other things. We'd walked about a mile, when an old guy in a green Rambler pulled over and offered us a ride. He took us to the next exit, and to my surprise, there was an open gas station. As I was trying to think of someone to call, to pick us up, I was telling the gas station guy about my dead Buick. Miraculously, he had a new fuel pump on hand. I think he charged me seven dollars for it, because he didn't think anyone else would be interested in buying it, as it had been sitting on the shelf for years.
Fortunately, I had tools in the trunk. We walked a bit more than a mile back to the car, and within a few minutes, I'd replaced the fuel pump. My brother continued to behave nicely throughout the experience.
So, it would seem that breaking down under such circumstances would be truly unlucky. Instead, it became my first lesson in not anticipating the worst, despite appearances. Also, I began to suspect that an unseen power had conspired to help me. After all, there probably wasn't another 61 Buick fuel pump within 100 miles
Journey Reflection / Group Discussion
One nugget:
I like the concept of journeying with someone, rather than rescuing them. Although I feel there are times when rescuing is appropriate, but it certainly is not, when functioning as a listener. The problem with rescuing is that it's both enabling and disempowering.
When someone truly believes in me:
Maybe it's because I'm retired, but presently, I don't know anyone who does not believe in me. Perhaps the first time that someone expressed credible belief in me, was that schoolteacher I spoke of earlier.
@Spiritriver what lovely stories! i am very glad you had that teacher in your life. i think those kinds of things matter most, especially with teens. when i practiced, I'd see a lot of "troubled" teens. we'd play basketball, I'd teach them how to ollie on a skateboard, or we'd listen to music. if they crushed it on things, then we'd go go-cart racing. these are powerful "interventions" that help to normalize things and show kids - hey there is another path here! were you ever able to circle back and reconnect with that teacher?
and a 1961 Buick! that is going way back. fun story and synchronicity!
@Spiritriver
Reading through your journey, it is clear just how much you have had to carry from such a young age. To go from what you described as a nonstop nightmare to becoming the person your family now sees as a source of safety and calm is a major achievement. The story of your neighbor, the schoolteacher, really highlights how powerful it is to simply be liked. When you are struggling with so many challenges at once, having someone just want to hang out and record silly sentences together can do more for self-confidence than any formal evaluation. He gave you the dignity of being a friend rather than a patient, and it is easy to see how that planted the seeds for the empathy you have today.
Your thoughts on the Dog Whisperer and assuming the pose also feel very insightful. It is a helpful way to look at change, realizing that we are just practicing a part of ourselves that is already there but maybe hasn't had the chance to lead yet. It isn't about being an imposter as much as it is about giving yourself permission to be the person you want to become. You can see the results of that practice in how your wife and children describe you now. Being known as someone who is honest, nonjudgmental, and a calming presence is really testament to the work you have put in!
And the Buick story is such a great example of those moments where things seem to go wrong, only to show us that help is closer than we think. That experience of finding the exact right part in the middle of nowhere, and seeing your brother shift his attitude, seems to have been a turning point in how you view the unexpected. It’s a wonderful reminder that even when we feel stuck in a storm, there are often unseen ways that things can work out. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing these reflections. Your belief in journeying with others rather than rescuing them is a perspective that clearly comes from a place of hard-earned wisdom <3
@Heather225
Thank you so much for reading with your heart and wisdom. Napoleon Hill, a writer who was popular in the 40s, wrote, "every adversity carries within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." It can be virtually impossible to convince someone of that when they're going through something horrible and I don't believe that can be said about every adversity, but I can say even my worst experiences yielded some benefit, and many have facilitated the development of great coping strategies and resilience.
@Spiritriver I thank the school teacher for making you feel solid like a star in the sky that twinkles and is resilient.
Hi everyone:
Questions
1. When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?
When I feel their energy is in my range
2. How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?
I usually study the pain and share it with others if they really want to overcome it
3. Narrative Therapy Exercise: How did it feel?
It felt touchable. And people can reflect on themselves and wonder about the time they left.
4. List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you
Wasted years in the wrong company, but it was a foundation for me to go in a new direction
Part 3: Closing Reflections:
1. What was one nugget that stood out to you from this part?
Don’t paddle for them, paddle with them, because I used to fix people a lot, but now, I've changed my mind.
2. Think of a time someone truly "believed" in you. How did that feel? If comfortable, please share that story and try to capture how it changed you or impacted you? If that person was a chapter in your life. What would you call that chapter?
When my whole family and close people didn’t believe me, my older cousin believed I could do what I wanted, and I did it. People called me crazy, but it was their mouth, not mine. Now, I guess they didn’t understand what I achieved. I’d call that chapter “1% light”.
@HealingwithMinionn you sound like an overcomer! I am glad your cousin was there to *see* you and that you were successful!
@HealingwithMinionn
Oh, there is something really strong about your concept of "1% light." When everyone else is doubting your path, having that one person see the truth can make all the difference. It takes a lot of resilience to look back at years that felt wasted and see them as a necessary foundation instead.
I also think your shift from being a fixer to "paddling with" others is such a vital change. It seems to allow for a more genuine connection when you find someone whose energy matches your own. By studying your own pain to help others, you are offering a map you have actually walked yourself. Thank you for sharing how that 1% of light helped you find your way.
I love this message!
@Voidiov thank you! 🙏
@Voidiov I totally agree! As do I! 😀
@GlenM
When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction? I felt someone’s compassion change my direction when a mentor listened without judgment and reminded me that growth takes time.
How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others? An experience that once hurt me was feeling overlooked. It taught me to make others feel seen and valued in moments they might otherwise feel invisible.
List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you Missing out on an opportunity I really wanted ended up guiding me toward something better aligned with my goals and values.
@addtwd great mentors FTW! they make such a world of difference right? and glad to hear that bend in the river brought you to a better spot!
@addtwd Isn't it funny how life has a way of working out for us? You show that even if something we desire doesn't work out, there's a reason behind it. In your case, I'm glad it worked out for your benefit! Better and greater things is what you deserve out of life. ❤️ Thank you for sharing!
@addtwd
i am so glad u had people that made u feel seen and heard.
@addtwd
It's such a relief when a mentor reminds you that growth doesn't have to be immediate. Having someone listen without judgment creates the kind of space where you can actually find your own way at your own pace. I also think it is really meaningful how you have turned the pain of being overlooked into a way to see others. It takes a lot of heart to make sure no one else feels invisible just because you once did. It sounds like you have a great sense of perspective, especially in seeing how that missed opportunity actually kept you on a path that better fits your values. Thank you for sharing!
A lot can be learned here, not only about the topic itself, but about ourselves too.
Here are my answers to the questions:
When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?
I have, the compassion I was given is one of the reasons for why I'm here today,
providing support to others that are struggling, just like I struggled.
How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?
I use everything that has hurt me to help on here, I feel like using that to understand
what others are going through, gives me a certain advantage in understanding them.
The stories aren't the same, but the feelings, thoughts and emotions are relatable.
Closing Reflections:
What was one nugget that stood out to you from this part?
Definitely the part about the wounded healer, I had never heard that until I came here,
I don't remember who it was that told me about the wounded healer, but it fits me very well.
Using my experiences, my struggles, my achievements, my pain and my hope to help others,
that's what a wounded healer does in my opinion. And that's something I happily do.
✨💙✨
✨
@AnnaSilverberg thanks for your kind words and for checking out the slides! @soulfullyabutterfly helped me with them. I, too, love the concept of the wounded healer. I see that theme woven throughout your work here and the many posts you make 🙏
@AnnaSilverberg
It's so meaningful how you have taken the compassion you received and turned it into a reason to be here for others. <3 There is a specific kind of trust that is built when someone knows you aren't just speaking from theory, but that you actually understand the weight of those feelings. Using your own history as a compass to navigate the emotions of others is such a gift.
You are indeed a wounded healer. It takes a lot of strength to look at your own pain and decide to use it as a tool for connection rather than just a source of hurt. By sharing your achievements and your hope alongside your struggles, you are showing people that it is possible to move through the difficult parts of life and come out with something valuable to offer. Thanks for sharing, Anna!
@Heather225
And I quote...... "There is a specific kind of trust that is built when someone knows you aren't just speaking from theory, but that you actually understand the weight of those feelings".
Well, one of the first things I get to see when signing onto the platform today. Knocked the wind out of me, tugged at my heartstrings, visceral reaction with a tear in my eye. Made my stomach clench up. Not even sure how or why it feels so good to read those words but also stunned, and still staring at them.
Still sitting here in front of my screen, feels as if I'm pulling all of the air out of the room I'm sitting in, with sigh after sigh. No more words but Wow! 😳
Alrighty, one more deep breath and moves along for the day. But seriously, I'm thinking this will cross my mind many more times today.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
When have you felt someone's compassion change your direction?
I haven't thought of how attending counselling sessions is a form of compassion coming from the counsellor towards me. I had always seen it as it is a part of the job. Without listening to our problems, they aren't able to help us reflect or walk us through tough patches. Now, after reading your slides, if counselling is a form a receiving compassion, then, I'll have to thank the girl that sat with me during my counselling sessions during my grieving journey last year. Although she was just an intern (doing her practicum from her counselling studies), I think it helped me more because our age is similar too. So, many of my worries I felt that she would truly understand it too, as she may be experiencing it as well. You're right, in counselling sessions, as a client, we are sharing our stories, as the counsellor, they are helping us reflect on our stories, to show us a different perspective, usually something that we, ourselves often miss or cannot see. They will ask us questions that help us open up our minds more, discover areas that have been hidden, and eventually, when we see the light up ahead, that is when our lives will begin to shift and finally continue to move forward in our journey.
How has something once hurt you become part of how you help others?
In my childhood, Grade 3-12, it seems that I had been neglected on an emotional level. My parents and brother did not understand my depression, my fears, stresses and anxieties. Rather than understanding, it turned to neglect and blame. Which resulted in fighting and suffering alone. For over two decades, I've been on medication, seen Psychologists, Counsellors, Psychiatrists.. it wasn't until 2017, when something changed. This is also the year when I joined 7 Cups, when I decided to make a career change. Going from retail to going back to school to earn a Certificate and be in a career I now have passion for. In Cups, I tried to offer my experiences, with those of similar struggles, in hopes that my words will be the support that they are seeking. At work, the most recent incident was when I noticed a coworker seemed to be in a bad mood. I stepped up and approached her. Asking if everything was okay (she was surprised I noticed), and offered to be a listener if she needs to vent. I also gave her a hug. I checked-in with her again a week later. With my years of depression, I have developed good observational skills, as I did a lot of people-watching whenever I was in school or out in the public. I have always wanted to use my experiences to help others with similar struggles, hoping to be their light, or at least, guide them to the light up ahead.
When someone truly "believed" in me.
Early this year, after a life-changing event, I made the decision to leave the hospital I worked at for the past 7 years. It was close to home, a five minute drive away, but I was a Casual worker, so financially, it was very unstable, as I only worked when the staff on my team goes on vacation. So, I ended up applying to a regular part-time position, at a hospital that is an hour drive away from home. It was the best decision I made. I started my month-long orientation in May and officially started my position in June. Two months into my career, Management comes to me. We have two Supervisors, one daytime, one for the evening. The daytime Supervisor had appointed me to become a Clinical Instructor, for the profession I'm doing. This is based on her belief in me, and I'm completely honoured. Teaching had always been a secondary dream career of mine, I even have a TEFL Certificate and dreamed of teaching abroad. Now, I get to teach in a career I have passion for, that's a bonus for me. I am totally excited for this new role, my first cohort to start in February 2026. I feel fully supported by the Management Team at this hospital, from the 2 supervisors, the Manager, and the RN's that work in my department. To see how that Supervisor believes that I will be a good instructor, it really makes me feel good and more confident. To be honest, when I went for my interview for the part-time position, although the interview was an hour long, within the first 30 minutes, the Manager already said "you're hired". She says I'm the first person they hired on the spot. That in itself, shows how much they felt I would be a good addition to their staff. The passion I have for my career, and the mindset I have for the work that I do, it is very rare and unique. I think nowadays, not many people choose to work a career with similar thoughts than I. From what I have observed, many of the staff here, are only doing this job because working in healthcare means that pay is decent, and if they work until they retire, the pension at the end is good.
@GlenM
Can I add something (random thoughts that surfaced)? I'm not sure if this is part of this "paddling alongside others".
But if we talk about compassion, I sometimes feel that it is in my nature. To always be in consideration of others, and at times, I don't even know if others notice it. Whenever I act it out though, I feel that it is just a part of my personality and my principles in life. I feel that the depressive phases I've been through in life, has become life lessons. These lessons and experiences have developed, increased insights of things that happen, and I hope that with what I have been through, can be help to others who seek it. Sometimes, I feel I'm overly kind, but it just feels like the right thing to do. That's why I feel it's in my innate nature, to act the way that I do towards other people. Whether that be strangers in the public or coworkers. Like how counsellors had been my guides in the past, I want to be someone who does the same for others. Now, it seems that as a Clinical Instructor, I can fulfill that part too. Let's hope I perform well, and can continue to teach after my first term.
@Jaeteuk
you know we agree with you as many only in jobs due to the pay they not truly care about the people around them like you we seek out ones who need a companion even when just out shopping or other places we can no longer work for pay but we feel each person we can help is worth the past suffering even the suffering now as in it we see the even tiny blessing others be to us and want to pass that on to others
hope you have a great career and touch many in positive ways we need more people who like you who care and show it too
Aww.. thank you for your kind words.
You know, I heard one coworker in his late 20s say something, I thought I'd only hear teenagers who is working their first job would say.. He said, "I'm only getting paid this amount of money, so I'm not going to do extra work. If they want me to care about that and do more work, I need to be paid more." I couldn't believe what I heard, like I said, I thought I'd only hear young teenagers say something like that. That just shows, that he's one of the many others who are only working this type of career, because of the pay.. since healthcare workers have better pay than the average hourly rate.
I feel my career is kicking off a bit later than others, as I'm in my late 30s. But I've learned it's never too late, and to be able to reignite the fire in me, I'm a lot more happier than I was before. Going to work gives me purpose and that drives the motivation, so, even if I didn't get a good night's sleep, just working, wakes me up. Almost like getting an adrenaline rush.
I've offered my help to a previous coworker before too. We took the Certificate program together, so we were classmates. We ended up working in the same hospital (my previous one), but it was really stressing her out. She ended up taking a Stress Leave from work, and during her time off, I kept in contact with her. Understanding her stresses, I offered my support. She ended up quitting, went back to school to earn another Certificate, and is now working something that she can feel more relaxed in.
I've always been the teacher's helper back in school, so helping others, whether it's directly or indirectly, is something that I feel is in my nature. Something I enjoy doing, whether or not others see or appreciate it, at least I'm doing something that makes me feel good, and feels like it's the right thing to do.
@stormieandpaws
@Jaeteuk
for us we learned to work very young due to grandparents lived next door on a 280 acre farm so was always work to be done but most it we enjoyed as we love being outside
think is that most young people was raised being entertained so anything that not fun like working or even school work is boring it like they have to have something going fast most have to have noise going too can not stand the quiet at all so for many who was raised with TV, gaming systems, cell phones ect but did not work at home many never played outside too
so far different then the ways we was raised were you was kicked out in morning in summer listed of things that had to be done then after them done could go swimming ride bikes and play outside but had to be home before dad was think this gave us deep rooted vauls about work and doing good job not only doing it to get payed
worst part about becoming fully disabled at age 32yr was not being able to work for living we did not really see that not being ble to work for living did not make one worthless
so we fully get what you saying :)
@Jaeteuk thank you for sharing all of this. I'm sure you are going to perform great. How has it been going so far?
Changing hospitals was the best decision I've made for my career. To have full support from the Management team makes a big difference in my advancement. I actually went to see my GP this morning, mainly to get refills for some medication (I always need an inhaler at home as a backup, in case I catch a cold) and I told her the good news of having my first cohort as a Clinical Instructor for February 2026. She told me that it's truly a blessing for me. She believes that if it wasn't for the grief I went through last year with my Grandma, I wouldn't have decided to make a change in my career.
Today, I also met up with a couple that my parents are friends with, for lunch. Just the 3 of us, and she knows about my teaching opportunity next year, and she says compared to when we last grabbed a bite together, I look a lot happier and is more open.
Management also recently added another responsibility for me, along with the Senior Tech, gave me an additional responsibility. Suggested to add me as the other contact person for when our system is experiencing downtime. Of course, they would contact the Senior Tech first, and I'd be the secondary contact over the weekend shifts. It feels good to know that Management trusts me enough to give me these roles.
I'm excited for the teaching to start, I'll be getting an Instructor Package this month, as the college prepares it for me. I'll have to go on campus to pick it up once they have it ready.
@GlenM
@Jaeteuk
I'm so happy to hear that you are much happier 💖
@Jaeteuk
I really love how you’ve started looking at your counseling sessions as an act of compassion rather than just someone doing their job. It makes so much sense that having an intern close to your age helped you feel truly understood during your grief; there’s a unique kind of comfort in knowing the person sitting with you is navigating the same world you are. It sounds like those years of feeling misunderstood and neglected by your family were incredibly heavy, but the way you’ve taken that "people-watching" survival skill and turned it into a superpower for noticing when a coworker is struggling is just beautiful. You are essentially offering people the exact presence and recognition that you deserved for so long.
Hearing about your success at the hospital actually brought a smile to my face. Being hired on the spot and then asked to be an instructor within just two months says so much about the light you carry. In a field like healthcare where it’s so easy for people to just work for the paycheck or the pension, your passion stands out as something rare and precious. It is so moving that your dream of teaching is coming true in a way that lets you use every bit of your history to help others find their footing. That "overly kind" nature of yours isn't a weakness. It’s your way of paddling alongside people. Your first cohort in February is going to be so lucky to have you as their instructor!
@Heather225
When I was younger, I had trouble forgiving my family for misunderstanding my needs and being neglected. I kept blaming them for who I turned into, with the depression and all. At one point in my late 20s, I began to accept who I had become. Although at times, it does make me feel more lonely because it felt that my so-called kindness is not always reciprocated or noticed, but I think that it is also because of what I had been through earlier in my life, that also shaped me into someone who feels empathy towards others.
I like how you see that "people-watching" is a superpower. I don't know of anyone else that have a similar trait. Like, you know with social media, I follow specific music artists, actors, and actresses. Ever since several years ago, whenever I see that person post a selfie picture or even videos of them rehearsing, my heart aches for them. Compared to what other fans comment on the picture, like how handsome they look, how they want more pictures. I feel like I can see through them, to what they are feeling deep inside, yet, try so hard to not show it to the public. Or maybe, they don't even notice that their emotions can be seen and are hiding it well.
I've been seeing a lot of clips showing up in my feeds on my social media accounts, all talking about kindness and how when one person feels emotional or cries even by watching a movie, that those tears indicate high emotional intelligence. Because I can feel what that character is portraying in their role, like, I remember, I even shed tears if I watch animated movies.
I once had a coworker, whom I worked together with for less than year. Yet one day, he came up to me and asked if I was okay. He said through my eyes, he saw that there was some sadness, that there was more to me than what I present to others during my shift. Honestly, not once in my life, have I ever thought someone could see that in me. If he didn't end up moving back to his home country, I think we could've been good friends.
Providing that presence and recognition for others, and yet not receiving the same for myself as much, I think created a void in me. Always longing to have that reciprocated, and becoming disappointed when it's overlooked. Yes, I have been trying to stay positive about it, and try to keep my hopes up of finally meeting that one person who sees me for who I am, deep inside.
Sometimes on the river, it feels like I'm trying my best to keep everyone stay afloat, to help them overcome their barriers, and yet whenever I'm the one that's struggling, no one comes to my rescue. Often, I'm the one that has to figure it out myself. I guess in a way though, that's also a good thing. Learn my own lessons, even if it takes longer that way. I felt that with this change in my career, able to fulfill my dreams, has made me feel more confident. So, I'm hoping that this confident will shine enough for others to notice me, and help attract that one person who will become my life partner.
@GlenM
@Magicpawsoffuture