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Why can't I be myself around other people?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 08/06/2018 at 10:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
November 20th, 2015 11:09am
In my case, i cant be myself around other people, because i forgot who am i. We are always thinking about what others may think of us, and that leads you to the point that you even dont know who you are. So i stop thinking that i dont know how to be myself around other people, i try to relax, and i remain in silence if i dont know what to say. At first it is strange, but then you start to make some confident moves. Little by little you return to yourself.
October 15th, 2015 9:35pm
I don't know what people mean by "not being yourself" around others - who am I being if not me? If you mean being around others is tiring, boring, gut-wrenching, nerve-wracking, panic-inducing, and your instinct is to get out as quickly as possible, then I know what you mean. Why, and what to do about it, I haven't a damn clue.
January 4th, 2016 1:03am
I don't like small chat and would rather talk serious life things. Also if I sat and just watched all the time I'd never make friends
November 10th, 2015 2:36pm
Sometimes we are afraid to be ourselves in front of others because we are afraid they would judge. Its always good to know that the best people to be around are the ones that excepts you just the way you are regardless. And the best way to know who are those people is to be yourself around them.
December 28th, 2015 5:26pm
Often, we find ourselves overthinking what other people might be thinking of us, of the way we interact, of the way we are in general. And that can set off an anxious reaction that will make it impossible for us to be ourselves, as we are not thinking straight. What I did, was I stopped at some point, and asked myself: Why am I worrying about other's opinions of me so much? They don't know me, and whatever they think is just an impression they've built up, not based on who I really am, so why bother? as for those who are close to me, they had the chance to know the real me, and they are sticking around. We all have our flaws, it doesn't mean our value as human beings should be any less because of them :)
August 24th, 2015 12:44pm
The most common reason for this is lack of self-confidence. It's important to improve self-confidence for more courage around other people. Trust yourself, improve yourself, and be yourself.
May 24th, 2015 9:55pm
Because Society makes you think that you are worthless. Society does not want us to be individual but Fitting into Society
March 19th, 2015 6:39am
According to my views, our behaviour depends on the way we respond to people's actions, words and thoughts. Our behaviour is strongly affected by how people make us feel about ourselves. While one may think, that this kind of behaviour may be sounding like *not oneself*; I think that we are simply adjusting to the respective surrounding and atmosphere at that time. Imagine a chameleon :) It's got different colours he can take, but it's still itself right ?
September 28th, 2015 5:03pm
You can't be yourself because you think that others will judge your true self that is why we wear masks. With different groups of people we have an appropriate mask for what they will like. In front of your parents you act innocent and sweet with your friends you pretend to like what they like so they accept you better but if they are you real friends they should accept you no matter what
July 6th, 2015 3:13pm
You may feel self-conscious about your personality or just who you ave overall. Remember that you are who you are, and there is nothing wrong with that. If the people in your life are not accepting of who you are, that is their problem, not yours. You should always try to make friends that love you for you.
April 10th, 2015 5:54pm
I can be myself, to an extent, but for example, I have worked through my issues for the most part and am comfortable with who I am. There are times when I am triggered, but it is rare, and I would like to think I handle it ok. But I still cannot interface with my father on the issues we had. He came from a physically abusive childhood and still, to this day, figures if he didn't knock our teeth out or beat us daily that naturally he didn't abuse us. Thing is, he was an abuser. I stood up to him respectfully yet sternly when I was in my early 20's and spent the next years reminding him that I will not be around him if he is going to disrespect me. Now I am 46 and the idea of him dominating me in any way is a long past issue. Nevertheless, I still don't see anything constructive in bringing up the fact that I was abused as a child and how it has had an dramatic impact on my life. So in that way, to this day, I still can't be 100% myself around him. But I have his respect, even though it is forced, and still have a relationship with him. So you know, I let sleeping dogs lie when he is around.
October 22nd, 2015 6:24pm
You might feel as if you are always getting judged. Just remember, do be yourself, because you are your own person and deserve to be able to act yourself. Don't leave the house with a "mask" on. Leave the house, take the mask off, and be yourself!!
December 13th, 2016 5:57pm
it can be difficult to be oneself with others, because we're afraid of what they may think, or of rejection.. but the thing is you CAN be yourself and you should be yourself, because that's how the right people find you
September 5th, 2016 4:34am
Because you feel that you have to conform to their way of thinking and behaving, to get ''accepted'' into their social groups.
October 27th, 2015 2:37am
Most people can be themselves around other people, but those people are likely to be their friends or family. When it comes to people you don't know, it's only cause you don't know how people will feel about you, or how they will look at you
July 2nd, 2018 11:14pm
Sometimes we're afraid to be ourselves around other people for fear of judgement or rejection. Sometimes its because we don't feel safe to be ourselves around the company we keep. We have many facets to who we are, just because you act one way around someone and another around someone else it doesn't mean you're not being yourself. Sometime we are who the other person brings out at the moment.
April 4th, 2016 4:13am
Because you probably feel like you will be judged or not accepted with fear of your yourself around people.
January 30th, 2017 6:58pm
Sometimes, we don't want others to see the real us because we're afraid. Afraid they'll judge us or we'll affect them. But it's not healthy, otherwise we'll just build a reputation for ourselves that sooner or later will break us. There's always someone you can talk with. For example here, in 7cups. There's always people willing to listen to your problems and try to help you. But if you don't want to talk about it, you can even write it. Never hold your thoughts or problems, or you'll just build limits for yourself. And those limits will start affecting your real self and make it harder. Let it out. No one can judge you for feeling.
January 14th, 2018 4:18am
Because sometimes, you and even me, felt like we always have been judged by people who see us. But believe me, people doesn't matter. For me, love yourself for who you are. Don't really care what they are going to say to us. As long as you are fine, then it's okay. Being normal is boring, be yourself! You can do it!!
May 29th, 2018 3:54pm
If you feel like you have to put on an act to be around other people, they're probably not people you want to be around. If you're insecure about yourself, perhaps that plays into feeling like you can't be yourself (not shaming you, I've dealt with similar issues!) If you find yourself to click with someone, being yourself is almost effortless :)
May 27th, 2015 7:32pm
People's actions can always persuade you and you might be scared of what they will think of your natural self.
November 10th, 2015 9:15pm
Because you don't appreciate/love yourself enough. You should ask "How much more can I be myself around people"
February 25th, 2015 12:40am
People adapt to their surroundings. In other words people will adjust to the similar attitudes around them. Most people are drawn to people with similar personalities but some will adjust to all kinds of personalities and fit in with most groups.
March 14th, 2015 5:39pm
All of us have the tendency for conformism when around other people,it is a known psychological and sociological term.And sometimes it gets more intense in a way that you feel afraid to show what you are really like and maybe to be different from others.You might be experiencing social anxiety,try to look it up and find some ways of coping with it.
August 6th, 2018 10:26am
Sometimes people struggle to be themselves around other people because they arent confident with themselves entirely. You need to learn to love yourself more so you can express this!!!
April 24th, 2018 6:29pm
Fear of being judged? Misread? Misunderstood? Disliked? there are so many reasons as to why you may not feel comfortable