Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?

177 Answers
Last Updated: 09/07/2019 at 7:13pm
Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Rory Boutilier, Registered Professional Counsellor, B.A. (Honors, Psychology)

Counselor

I use a client-centered, solution-focused approach. Particular interests in: self-injury, depression, anxiety, life stress, and change.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 20th, 2016 6:40am
I have felt hopeless in this world before. I told myself if I shamed myself into submission I would motivated, I wasn't. While suicide was off of the table, I still didn't want to do anything. To feel hopeful I ended up just watching YouTube videos, reading hyperbole and a half about 40 times, and painting. Some days were better than others.
Anonymous
October 6th, 2016 7:46pm
Please remember that happiness comes from within. You can’t find happiness in others before finding in yourself what makes you happy. Learn to love yourself, understand yourself before you learn to love others. You will have heartbreaks, professional setbacks, unfulfilled dreams, or worse. When you understand that disappointment is part of the life equation, your recovery time will be much faster. Please remember that we have less time than you really think we do. Every moment counts so stop planning and start doing. Stop leaving things for tomorrow, for next year. Make this moment count.
SimplyBeing
July 20th, 2016 6:45am
For me, the shortest path to hope was to find gratitude for the things already in my life. Even simple things or perhaps especially simple things like being alive, safe and well fed. Access to a computer and a caring community like 7cups. Gratitude is a practice meaning that it is something we have to work on daily. I thought the gratitude journal was a silly idea until I committed to completing on for a week. Then I began to see the benefits in my attitude. Gratitude has a direct and measurable impact on depression and even in the brain. It seems it is just not possible to be hopeless and grateful at the same time. I hope this helps. I wish you peace. ~J
BronyDice
November 9th, 2016 7:23pm
Keep trying to take care of yourself and do the things that you can. Don't compare yourself to others or beat yourself up. Life won't always be this messed up, I promise. Try to take the baby steps you can to help yourself in this rough time and try to find patience if you can.
awesomeSunset88
March 15th, 2017 10:39pm
When there are several issues at play, it's easy to feel paralyzed and accomplish nothing. Figure out what the BIGGEST problem is, or the problem that seems to be the root of more than one problem, and work on that. Understand that will power doesn't exist, and plan and repetition to change a habit at a time is all you can really do.
Saltedbythesea
July 25th, 2018 2:02pm
There is a lot to answer there, so I'll focus on one important thing that jumps out at me. How we use language is related to our thoughts. I see right away that you may have established a pattern of what is called "all or nothing" thinking. When you say "Everything in my life is messed up." intellectually you know that that is simply not true. However - your mind and body takes it in as true and responds accordingly. I recommend a therapist who could help you catch those thoughts and reframe them.
SoulHealing
August 11th, 2017 7:18pm
First, life is short and we all meant to die anyway. But we are here with a purpose. You have to search for your inspiration and way of life. We all have one
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 2:40pm
Calm down inside your head. There will never be any perfect, ideal situation in life, accept it. Now, to understand why you should live, ask what you would do if there is no obstacle and no mess and no fears? Pick tiniest version of that thing, for e.g. if you wanna be a writer, write just one line today- and do that often. That will make you feel satisfied, happy and you will look forward to it. The problems will come and go as you are focused on creating something new rather than fixing the broken parts. Cheers.
Melody293
August 4th, 2016 6:02pm
Feel hopeful because things can get better. Things can always get better. And if your lacking motivation to live, find pleasure in the little things. Appreciate the beauty of flowers and the happiness in laughter. You can't experience those if you aren't here. Look for beauty in the pavement you walk on top of, and the sky you walk under. Seek love in the embrace of your family and in the smiles of lovers. Their are so many things you need to be here for, and that you won't want to miss out on.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2016 1:23pm
Do something you love...draw..paint..meditate..be with people who makes you happy...help a stranger...smile daily...make yourself a schedule of happy cheerful things & keep yourself motivated by reading motivational quotes and spread around all the people you love be the positive vibes 🌹
lyn26
December 23rd, 2017 2:05am
Your Gonna Be Okay! God is watching over you. In the end everything is going to be okay and if its not Okay Its not the end! I LOVE you! Stay strong!
GentleWaves
July 30th, 2016 4:39pm
I can relate to the feeling... I would suggest to start working on a very small bit at a time... regaining hope and feeling successful with a first step of undoing the mess to create something that corresponds more to our wishes might give the energy to continue with other goals in other domains. Seeking support for a start ight be the first step itself
Neverend1ngLake
May 14th, 2017 5:06pm
When things go wrong, it's easy to forget everything good that has happened to us and we may feel hopeless. I suggest taking a moment, maybe a day to take a step back and reflect on life. Going on a walk is always helpful to make us realize that there is more to the world than the bubbles we live in sometimes. We can use this time to remember the good times we had, and also to plan more things we want to do. Focusing on our future can be encouraging. Even if some don't turn out the way we expect, the experience we gain is invaluable! In the end, life is not about getting it always right, but about trying and learning.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2018 2:08am
Become disciplined. Work out a schedule. Work out a timeline and make things progress the way you want it to. Motivation is great and can be a catalyst to help you produce and gain the things you want. Discipline is to sustain the behavior or practice because you know its meaningful and worthwhile. I suppose my answer is, understand that Motivation may be temporary, but Discipline is good for the long term. And I suppose this can give you hope knowing that you can improve things by being hopeful and genuinely believing that you're actions will push you in the right direction :)
Anonymous
May 26th, 2018 12:25pm
Whenever you feel hopeless or stuck, list 10 things your grateful for. It can be form your health to a favourite drink or location, friends, family, smells, games. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of the good in life.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2018 7:32am
Honestly this was tough for me too but the best way for me to feel hopeful is to stop trying to feel hopeful~ It feels useless when you do something to feel hopeful and it doesnt work so just do what makes you happy.
magnanimousApple56
July 21st, 2016 2:29pm
I have definitely felt this way before. I found great comfort in talking to people that were close to me. I found new hobbies and tried to take my mind off the problems in my life. I taught myself to be grateful and thankful for everything in life, even just waking up in the morning. Being grateful allowed me to have a new perspective on life, and in the end, made me happier. I hope you get better.
CarpetLovesU
July 28th, 2016 4:32am
You have already made it.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2016 11:36am
When so much stuff goes wrong, it can really feel like you are going against the flow, and I personally find it tempting to just go limp and let the tide carry me downstream. However, the relief of giving up is only temporary and can be very costly in many ways. It's brilliant that you've reached out for help. Perhaps longer term support, such as a good counsellor or listener, might help you to cope with the emotional aspect of the challenges you face - It's good to have a place for a relief. There's innumerable ways to make progress and to give yourself hope in the process. Some ways will work for you and others not; If something you read or hear doesn't always work for you, please don't let that defeat you. Personally, in recovery from depression I have used many practical and emotional approaches to problems, and some of these I still use today. Here's my two cents worth: Have you tried using short-term AND long-term goals together? The long term goals could be things such as getting a job interview, learning a new skill, or even completing a game. Short-term goals can be things which contribute towards this, such as improving your CV, buying a book about a skill, or completing one level of a game. Short term goals can also be unrelated to long-term goals. Completing even easy goals can be a little morale boost for yourself. Try to take the time to really appreciate what you've done, before you look at what's next. When you tick off short term goals, it can feel nice. When you tick of the long term goals, it can feel REALLY nice! To help with this, try to look after yourself physically with diet, exercise, and sleep; Through my own experience and what I read, these really help to balance emotions out so you can feel the rewards of your successes. It's not all or nothing - even doing a little towards these is helpful. Hope this has been a little help and good luck with your journey!
Anonymous
October 5th, 2016 8:25pm
There's always room for change sweetie. Change isn't always such a bad thing. It sounds like you think it's pointless doing the same thing over and over again. So change your routine
DancingDaffodil
October 23rd, 2016 11:56pm
Make a list of all the positive things that happen during the day. It could be anything, such as what you had for breakfast to talking with a friend. Just remember to try and be positive throughout the day
heartsNcupcakes
December 29th, 2016 6:17am
You should remember that no matter how bad you feel right now, things, feelings, and situations are forever changing. Nothing stays the same and what pains and aches you now may not 1, 2 or even 5 years down the line. Everyone goes through really low lows and the best thing to do during those times is to kinda yourself and find healthy distractions, people that are there for you, acts of self love. And a lot of people with depression often lack motivation so dont be so hard on yourself!
generalanesthetiics
June 13th, 2018 1:38am
Never be afraid to ask for help. I know that it seems cliche but nothing lasts forever, and that includes negative situations. Reach out to those around you that you trust and practice in self care. Its okay to feel anxious and stressed but remember that it will never be that way forever.
serpentsxspell
August 2nd, 2018 11:43am
I would suggest making an appointment with a doctor to be referred to a therapist. Sometimes changing thought habits can change our lives.
michelle2000
July 23rd, 2016 3:24am
In order to feel hopeful, I usually listen to uplifting music. I prefer listening to Christian music when I feel down, but I understand that not everyone has the same beliefs as me. Overall, I just recommend listening to music to calm yourself down.
RhinocerosWings
July 27th, 2016 3:55pm
Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said, People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. Things that might help you feel hopeful: The 7 Cups Growth Path. The 7 Cups Self-Help Guides, specifically the ones on Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Depression, and any others that you feel might apply to your situation. The 7 Cups Mindfulness Exercises - there are a TON under the various categories, including 5 under Motivation. You're in a good place here to get hopeful.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2016 10:34pm
When motivation shoves up, do whatever makes you happy. Try to eat healthy, sleep enough and spent some time in nature, walking, doing sports. Maybe sound silly, but little sweating can do big change.
shoshho
July 29th, 2016 11:59am
oh! that is one terrible spot to be in, but it's a spot on the map and we all have to take the circuit. It's best if you force yourself to move one and carry on, learn from the past and let go, prepare in the present, make your own schedules, stop doing things that make you feel guilty and aim for the future :)
delightfulHand77
August 3rd, 2016 2:12pm
You should make plans for yourself, set goals. Show yourself what you can do, despite of all the mess around you. Little steps are also steps.
rainbowslover
August 5th, 2016 8:31am
Think of what you like, okay? Like something you like to do when you're free and want to relax. Focus on this. you can do something, you're good at it and you can improve it day by day, it can become a huge satisfaction for yourself. It can be anything, just think of it. And be happy.