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A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?

252 Answers
Last Updated: 05/29/2022 at 6:19pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Sarah Robb, LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker, Supervisor Designation) and LICDC (Licenced Chemical Dependency Counselor)

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Life poses many challenges. Learning to face, cope with, and resolve these challenges can increase our resilience.

Top Rated Answers
sempiternaldreams
June 29th, 2016 9:47pm
Earn their trust, tell them where you are going and if they don't believe you, you can tell them whith who you're going and give them the number of that person so they can call you there and you can prove you're with them. Also, send them a picture if necessary. Do bring your phone with you so they can communicate with you if you have one.
Nada
August 26th, 2016 3:44pm
If you're not lying then there's nothing to be afraid of go where you would like to go you're doing nothing wrong at all.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 4:48am
I know that feeling. Once, I even had to take a photo of where I was just to get them to believe me. Maybe you could ask them to tag along if you want them to. But if you don't, you could tell them where you're going and if they don't believe you, that's their problem.
Sunisshiningandsoareyou
January 7th, 2021 5:51am
I am sorry you have a family member accusing you of lying, it can be upsetting when people close to us don't trust us or think that we are probably doing something wrong, when in the first place we're not and being honest about everything. So maybe ask the member what is making them feel that you're lying ? , and then depending on how they answer, tell them you're telling the truth and it's hurtful how they are still doubting on you...assure them, that they can trust you and you value them believing in you and wouldn't want to do anything otherwise. Maybe that could help them feel understood 💛
Anonymous
December 7th, 2018 3:58pm
If a family member thinks you are lying about where you are going, then you probably have given them a reason to not trust where you are going. Allow your family member to stay in contact with you and always check in to reassure your safety. Family members do care, but they also know what it is like being younger to run off and do things that they are not supposed to be doing or lying about where they are going. Do not take it the wrong way or get upset about it, they truly care about you. If there are guardians or if they know a friend and trust that friend you are with, then the trust shall increase over time.
Anonymous
April 8th, 2018 2:40am
Ignore them, you know you're telling the truth. If they are important to you the would trust and believe you
Apollosdaughter
March 30th, 2018 4:41pm
If that family member is not among your parents then make them believe that you are ture to your words, infront of that family member who doesnt believe you. If among them then seek help from either of the two.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 1:16pm
If you have any way to prove where you are going, that would be a good idea. I also think you should have a family talk with them so they understand more if you explain it calmly. I feel like maybe a tone could change their thoughts. Trust has a massive role in this, try and get it between you and your family! :)
SoulHealing
August 11th, 2017 7:33pm
Whoever holds the truth should never be worried. You should just act naturally and stop worrying and if that family members insists just confront him politely and talk about his doubts clearly
emotionalfreak25
July 21st, 2017 11:28am
Remain calm. When you are accused of something, especially if you are telling the truth, your first reaction may be to get angry or defensive. Getting overly excited or frustrated, while a fair response to an accusation, can actually make the other person believe the accusation is true.When it's clear that you cannot convince this person of your honesty, ask for more information about why she seems to distrust you. Equipped with this information you can strive to be more trustworthy in the future.
FriendlyNeighbourhoodOwl
January 23rd, 2021 8:43am
I know how you must have been feeling if the person whom you are connected to wouldn't trust you. You can do everything in your power to communicate better and maybe prove it to the said member and find out where if there ever was, any kind of communication gap. But, in the end, all you can do is try. You cannot expect them to trust you. You are gonna have to accept that. Make peace with it. Accept that the family member is not trusting you as of now. Try to earn their trust, and if the person still doesn't trust you, then you have done all you can. Good luck
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 11:46am
Send him a Picture of the place, if he see you there he cant say anything against it. Tell him that you arent a liar
DonkeyThoughts
November 15th, 2019 3:14am
I sit them down and tell them I love them, and to ask me about where I'm going. When they start to express doubt, I ask them to elaborate and ask them why they think I am lying about something so important. The most important thing is to make sure that they know they are loved and that you want to be trusted. I wouldn't take a confrontational attitude and would do my best to see why they feel the way that they feel. It could be some sort of miscommunication, or based off of things that aren't true. The biggest thing, I think, would be to just show that you love the family member and be honest about where you are going, and why.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 7:28pm
Just let them know where your going, make sure that they know exactly where you are like keep them updated to where you are all the time.
Allears247
July 26th, 2018 8:25am
If you are not lying than I would not worry about it too much. The truth will reveal itself at some point and even if it doesn't, you know the truth so who care what they believe.
uniqueOasis12
July 28th, 2018 2:46am
Perhaps you could turn your location or something on to where they can see where you're going, or maybe you can just take pictures to prove to them that you are actually going where you say you are going.
millie77
August 1st, 2018 10:25am
Maybe you can prove it by taking pictures and send them directly ? Or try to ask someone with you for confirm the things ?
specialRiver83
August 9th, 2018 8:58am
Explain to your family member that you are an honest person and you have no reason to lie. If you have a history of lying maybe you should find a way to prove to them that you are in fact telling the truth.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 11:26am
Let the person think what they want . That’s stress on them not you . Just remain honest and true to yourself ✨✨
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 10:11pm
Speak to them honestly and tell them that them not trusting you hurts your feelings, be honest with them
wonderfulSunshine91
August 17th, 2018 8:56am
Find a way to prove to them that you are not lying. It hurts when people don't trust you but don't get angry or defensive when they bring the subject up as that won't help gain their trust. Try to keep a cool head when talking about it and be rational. Tell them in detail what you are doing to make it sound as viable as possible. Could you ask them to take part in some way eg drop you off/ pick you up? Or even agree to text or ring them while you are out. Hope this helps.
Anonymous
September 5th, 2018 3:34pm
You should continue to tell them the truth. you could record where you are going to show them later to prove this it is what you are doing, there are also gps tracking apps if they still don't believe you, there are a lot of things to do. As of right now you should sit down with your family member and talk to them about why they think you are lying and you should ask them where it is they think you are going. If they don't believe you even after all that you could change your habit of when you go. you could instead of leaving at night leave in the day.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2018 3:13pm
It sounds like they don't trust you. That must be very frustrating for you to feel like your family doesn't believe what you say. One way to resolve this would be to sit down with your family and initiate a conversation about this. Come from a place love, and be willing to listen to all the reasons why they don't trust you. After you have listened to their reasons, ask them for feedback on how you can build their trust in you again. You will have the opportunity to explain yourself, if you feel they have misunderstood your actions in the past. And you can learn how you deepen your connection and trust with them. They key is to have the conversation from a place of love and openness, and avoid defensiveness.
melody06
October 17th, 2019 9:15pm
I believe you in a situation like you need to ask that family member if you guys can have a conversation. Than when that request is approved start by asking that family member what makes them think that you are lying about where you are going. Maybe also ask if they trust you or not. Once you've got your answers to any of you questions you felt needed to be asked than you can simply let the family know that they don't have worry if your lying or not. Let them know that they can trust you. By doing this will allow them to think better when you want to do something.
AAAAngela
July 21st, 2019 2:36am
You should sit down with them and have an honest conversation with them about where and why you are going somewhere and if you are comfortable with doing this you can share your location when you arrive at your destination to help calm them down. Remember they only think your lying because they care and want whats best for you. Family cares about family and you should be proud to have a family that cares so much about your safety. If you talk to them about there concerns and offer to send your location or an "arrived" text when you get there it should calm them down.
thoughtfulmaniac1993
September 8th, 2019 11:03am
Well in my experience, you cant be to safe, so never lie about where you are going if something was to happen to you someone needs to know who you are with, now sorry that's the parent in me, really if it's a friends house or somewhere like a event, you could video call you could get someone to call them an verify you are there, it's just to reassure them that you are safe an okay an that's all a family member really wants to know now be safe out there an have a good day friend
Anonymous
September 11th, 2019 6:12pm
prove it to them. if you really are going where you say you are, facetime them or something just to show them, build up the trust but after a while gradually stop facetiming them as you dont want it to become a controlling habit. build up the trust, build up the relationship. go out with whoever they are, talk about the things you do wherever it is you are going. build up that confidence between being able to openly communicate with eachother. it will help you in life trust me. relationships with family/friends/ partners who care about you are important. and after a while they will trust that you are going where you say you are because they feel more comfortable with the situation
hopefulLynx2115
October 26th, 2019 2:35pm
Unfortunately, I cannot give personal advise on this topic however I understand how this may be stressful and upsetting for you. Try to understand why they they think that you are lying to them. Think about what you could do in order for them to trust you and not think that you are lying. Do you think that they are mistrusting of you for a reason? If not, what do you think would be the best way for you to show that you are telling the truth. Is there any way that you could show that you are telling the truth when you are going somewhere?
ShannonLstories1
April 21st, 2018 9:35pm
Find out why they don't trust you and if needed let them take you to where you are going to prove to them you were telling the truth
Anonymous
June 13th, 2019 10:14pm
I think you should talk to them and explain where you are going. If they still do not believe you tell them you will send them picture of where you are so they know you are there. If you are going with other people you can text those people and have them fully confirm where you are going. If the person thinking you are lying is a parent make sure they know you will be safe. If the person is not a parent then do not worry about it too much because they are not your parents and can not do anything about it.