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Why do I always dwell on the same issue for so long? Why can't I let it go?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 11/29/2021 at 1:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling


I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.

Top Rated Answers
June 3rd, 2015 6:00am
This situation is very difficult to explain and understand. We continuously go through the same process...think about the same events, especially negative ones. I believe that to let things go..need acceptance of the event and our role on that event. If we are at guilty then forgiveness helps a lot and if other is guilty even then it works.
December 21st, 2015 9:30pm
There are various reasons why you do not want to let go of the issue. Sometimes, we build an emotional relationship with a lot of things. Including problems. Very often, we are so attached to the problem that we sub-consciously do not let go of it. Although we may resolve the issue for a while and focus on other things, the minute we are idle we go back to the same thoughts. This is due to the general tendency to feel like nothing is perfect in our life.. If we don't have any current issues, we dwell on the past one... If we do have current issues, we add the past one to make everything seem large scale. You need to understand that you know the issue and you are the best one to solve it because no on else knows your situation better than you. You just need to find the inner will power and strength to carry on and forget what's in the past. It is not an easy task and it will take more time and effort than anyone can imagine. But, if you keep in mind, that you are the master of your mind, you will be able to overcome any issue, whether present or past..
October 26th, 2015 10:07pm
You may not be able to let it go. Because you have not addressed the issue. Why do you keep getting upset? What about the situation makes you dwell on it.
May 5th, 2015 12:04am
Ruminating is something most of us can relate to. New information may be needed to occupy the mind. If you don't use your mind it will use you.
April 7th, 2015 12:56am
There is one main element that feeds into this never-ending thought process, which is this: "What if" questions. To continuously wonder "what if" something had gone differently -- or perhaps not at all -- will make you likewise dwell on that same issue continuously.
June 10th, 2015 7:52am
Depending on the issue, some take longer to get over especially If you felt you were unnecessarily hurt. Not understanding the emotion evoked by the issue makes you dwell on it as you haven't made sense, peace or had closure to move on. Closure helps to understand and accept what's happened as DWELLING means you are LOOKING for Answers re the issue at hand. I would be honest with myself and write down all the reasons you feel caused the issue, then look at your part in it, then write down what you could have done to prevent the issue . You may write this a few times as you may find , after reading what you wrote and comprehending the impact of the emotions you felt will help. Put the note aside and read it again the next day and see if what you wrote still stands. This means you are not adding or deleting anything you wrote. See if you have a shift in your emotions and read this a few times till you understand the reasons behind the issue and how to help emotions brought up by dwelling. . This will help you understand and get answers which will eventually stop you dwelling as you were honest to yourself and this will give you your answers. Self counsel works best in this case. Good luck 💕
December 7th, 2015 5:43am
Well if somethings bothering you it's hard to let the thought go and forget about it. But it's not good to hold onto something because you'll be focused on that and not enjoying life to the fullest. So try your hardest to put it aside or forget about it which can be hard so distract yourself from the thought.
April 12th, 2016 5:52am
Your brain might want to further look into a past situation for a reason. It might be unresolved or recurring
November 5th, 2019 11:36am
It is very normal to dwell on something that has happened for a long time. As humans we often think about things for longer than necessary as we will think about the what if's and we think about what could have been different. It can be very hard to just let things go. Some things we will never let go of, but we learn to continue on and learn to accept it. I have been through trauma and dwelled on it for so long, but after lots of therapy, I was able to come to terms with what happened and now I am able to not think about it as much as I used to, I will never be able to let it go but at least I am able to move on with my life.
March 24th, 2015 5:07pm
Well, if you are stuck for so long on the same issue, it's probably the one bothering you the most. Try finding someone to help you deal with the problem, that might help.
November 2nd, 2015 11:21am
Maybe at first you did not realize what the dwelling was for. Identifying the issue and releasing yourself from the same issue is the first step. Seeing the problem is the other half. Doing something about it.. Take real action. They simply let go! Easier said than done but time heals all wounds.
November 7th, 2016 6:33am
If you still find yourself dwelling on an issue even though it has been already solved, it might be simply that your mind got used to the old pattern of thinking and can't let it go because then it would be empty. Try writing affirmations to promote new thinking patterns, it might help.
July 9th, 2018 1:10pm
I totally understand what you mean. it happens to every one of us. The fear of change and unknown seems to play a great part in that. We're stuck in our comfort zone
February 20th, 2018 7:50am
Sometimes it’s hard for us to let go on things that we think about constantly or things we feel that are extremely important
April 23rd, 2018 2:25am
You can dwell on the same issue for a very long time and you aren’t able to let the affect leave you because of the behavior that person chosed to do therefore you are left stuck.
October 9th, 2018 1:11pm
This might be due to the issue might be too sensitive. The issue might be deep in the subconscious mind disturbing the mind all the time. One cannot let it go because it might have huge impact on life and thinking about it hurt you all the time leading to think about it again and again. The issue might have disturbed the life and not able to forget it and about it consequences we keep on thinking about it and due to fear also the issue is not being able to forget.
July 13th, 2020 7:31am
It's hard to answer without knowing what the issue is. Is it an issue that you feel has yet to be resolved and must be resolved? If so, then you have to ask yourself, why does this issue have to be resolved, really? Will it make you happier? Will it make the world a better place? Is it worth the trouble? If you decide this issue is worth pursuing rather than dismissing as a distraction, then you have to ask yourself, what are the steps I can take to reach the resolution? And this is not something that is so easily done, so good luck to you. On the other hand, sometimes I dwell on things that I regret in the past. The best thing I can say for this is to redirect you to the practice of meditation, which is essentially the art of letting things go.
November 29th, 2021 1:53pm
Don't worry, it's normal to feel this way because sometimes there are things that matter for us so it's difficult to let it but you survived 100 % of your bad days so I'm sure you can do it because you're strong and powerful and you're doing your best. I'm proud of you and surely there are other other people who are. The fact that you searched help is a great sign just by itself so I'm absolutely certain you can get through this. Anyway, time heals everything so just take your time and don't force yourself, don't worry, everything's going to be okay