Why do I always dwell on the same issue for so long? Why can't I let it go?
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 7:31am
Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling
I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.
Top Rated Answers
This situation is very difficult to explain and understand. We continuously go through the same process...think about the same events, especially negative ones. I believe that to let things go..need acceptance of the event and our role on that event. If we are at guilty then forgiveness helps a lot and if other is guilty even then it works.
There are various reasons why you do not want to let go of the issue. Sometimes, we build an emotional relationship with a lot of things. Including problems. Very often, we are so attached to the problem that we sub-consciously do not let go of it. Although we may resolve the issue for a while and focus on other things, the minute we are idle we go back to the same thoughts. This is due to the general tendency to feel like nothing is perfect in our life.. If we don't have any current issues, we dwell on the past one... If we do have current issues, we add the past one to make everything seem large scale. You need to understand that you know the issue and you are the best one to solve it because no on else knows your situation better than you. You just need to find the inner will power and strength to carry on and forget what's in the past. It is not an easy task and it will take more time and effort than anyone can imagine. But, if you keep in mind, that you are the master of your mind, you will be able to overcome any issue, whether present or past..
You may not be able to let it go. Because you have not addressed the issue. Why do you keep getting upset? What about the situation makes you dwell on it.
Ruminating is something most of us can relate to. New information may be needed to occupy the mind. If you don't use your mind it will use you.
There is one main element that feeds into this never-ending thought process, which is this: "What if" questions. To continuously wonder "what if" something had gone differently -- or perhaps not at all -- will make you likewise dwell on that same issue continuously.
Depending on the issue, some take longer to get over especially If you felt you were unnecessarily hurt. Not understanding the emotion evoked by the issue makes you dwell on it as you haven't made sense, peace or had closure to move on. Closure helps to understand and accept what's happened as DWELLING means you are LOOKING for Answers re the issue at hand. I would be honest with myself and write down all the reasons you feel caused the issue, then look at your part in it, then write down what you could have done to prevent the issue . You may write this a few times as you may find , after reading what you wrote and comprehending the impact of the emotions you felt will help. Put the note aside and read it again the next day and see if what you wrote still stands. This means you are not adding or deleting anything you wrote. See if you have a shift in your emotions and read this a few times till you understand the reasons behind the issue and how to help emotions brought up by dwelling. . This will help you understand and get answers which will eventually stop you dwelling as you were honest to yourself and this will give you your answers. Self counsel works best in this case. Good luck 💕
Well if somethings bothering you it's hard to let the thought go and forget about it. But it's not good to hold onto something because you'll be focused on that and not enjoying life to the fullest. So try your hardest to put it aside or forget about it which can be hard so distract yourself from the thought.
Your brain might want to further look into a past situation for a reason. It might be unresolved or recurring
It is very normal to dwell on something that has happened for a long time. As humans we often think about things for longer than necessary as we will think about the what if's and we think about what could have been different. It can be very hard to just let things go. Some things we will never let go of, but we learn to continue on and learn to accept it. I have been through trauma and dwelled on it for so long, but after lots of therapy, I was able to come to terms with what happened and now I am able to not think about it as much as I used to, I will never be able to let it go but at least I am able to move on with my life.
Well, if you are stuck for so long on the same issue, it's probably the one bothering you the most. Try finding someone to help you deal with the problem, that might help.
Maybe at first you did not realize what the dwelling was for. Identifying the issue and releasing yourself from the same issue is the first step. Seeing the problem is the other half. Doing something about it.. Take real action. They simply let go! Easier said than done but time heals all wounds.
If you still find yourself dwelling on an issue even though it has been already solved, it might be simply that your mind got used to the old pattern of thinking and can't let it go because then it would be empty. Try writing affirmations to promote new thinking patterns, it might help.
I totally understand what you mean. it happens to every one of us. The fear of change and unknown seems to play a great part in that. We're stuck in our comfort zone
Sometimes it’s hard for us to let go on things that we think about constantly or things we feel that are extremely important
You can dwell on the same issue for a very long time and you aren’t able to let the affect leave you because of the behavior that person chosed to do therefore you are left stuck.
This might be due to the issue might be too sensitive. The issue might be deep in the subconscious mind disturbing the mind all the time. One cannot let it go because it might have huge impact on life and thinking about it hurt you all the time leading to think about it again and again. The issue might have disturbed the life and not able to forget it and about it consequences we keep on thinking about it and due to fear also the issue is not being able to forget.
It's hard to answer without knowing what the issue is. Is it an issue that you feel has yet to be resolved and must be resolved? If so, then you have to ask yourself, why does this issue have to be resolved, really? Will it make you happier? Will it make the world a better place? Is it worth the trouble? If you decide this issue is worth pursuing rather than dismissing as a distraction, then you have to ask yourself, what are the steps I can take to reach the resolution? And this is not something that is so easily done, so good luck to you. On the other hand, sometimes I dwell on things that I regret in the past. The best thing I can say for this is to redirect you to the practice of meditation, which is essentially the art of letting things go.
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