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How can I end an unhealthy relationship?

52 Answers
Last Updated: 01/05/2021 at 5:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
November 21st, 2014 10:17am
The first step is realizing that the relationship is unhealthy, and you've already done that, so good job! The second step is to make sure you're relationship isn't abusive, and If it is make a police report as ending the relationship can cause more conflict, so bringing in a third party to protect yourself from that person is the best thing you can do. If the relationship is not abusive, the best way to end it is sit down with that person and express your feelings. Don't put the blame on them as it could cause an argument, and that's the last thing you want. Express your feelings and don't let them convince you to stay, as you've already decided that the relationship is unhealthy. Tell them your wishes (eg: please do not contact me, pack your things and leave ect.) and give them time to process the situation, as they might not have the same feelings you do. Ask if they have any questions, answer them honestly and kindly. Hope I helped :)
January 5th, 2016 5:11am
First you have to ask yourself what is keeping you in the relationship to begin with. Are you in it for your children or financial security? Do you stay because you're afraid no one else will love you in the way your current significant other does? Do you stay because he or she provides you with something you cannot provide yourself? Once you can ask yourself the hardest of questions, and then, answer them with honesty - which is harder, still, you may come to the realization that you no longer need the relationship. If you know the relationship is unhealthy, pinpointing what makes it unhealthy is always the first step. Once you've identified that very key bit of information, the next part is putting all the pieces of the puzzle together to make yourself whole again.
April 22nd, 2015 2:06pm
It is difficult to end any relationship. Period. Even if it is the worst thing in the world for you, it will still not be an easy decision to make. But ending unhealthy relationships is very necessary for the sake of your own well being. Resolving to take control of your life is the first step. You don't want to be in a relationship that brings you no or little joy. Talk to a trusted friend, parent or teacher. If you need professional help, don't hesitate to seek a therapist.
November 21st, 2014 9:06am
Think about how its effect you mentaly and physical, do tou need this? Do you want this? You need someone who is willing to be there for you
January 17th, 2016 9:14am
It's like ripping a bandaid off a wound. Just end it. It will take all the toxic stuff out of your life.
January 17th, 2016 8:04pm
If you fear your partner may react violently, talking to them in a public setting is a good idea. Furthermore, you may want to consider blocking contact with this person if this is the case, and make sure that you have a safe distance from this person. This is also a good way to seek closure and gather your own thoughts.
April 8th, 2015 5:15pm
Unhealthy relationships are hard to end and discontinue--- it also depends on the type. Family relationships are difficult, friendships are hard, too. But if it's a significant other, even more difficult, definitely. Because you have that friendship element, but that element of intimacy that you don't have in a platonic interaction. With that, honesty is best (always best policy I feel.)-- but you can be honest with someone and 'let them down gently'. For example, you have a significant other that you care about...but you feel the relationship isn't working--- talk about it, explain the reasons why you don't feel it's working and that perhaps you need a break. Or maybe you need to work things out together. It's really dependent on the situation itself, but there are times when just 'taking a break' from each other--and not contacting each other to get things sorted out in your own mind then progressing forward can be the best thing. Or it may be you need to just cut your ties with that individual altogether. Either way, your mental health and well-being should be a priority.
November 23rd, 2014 5:39pm
Communication is the best key to everything. If you feel that you are unhappy in a relationship, you can make a closure with the other individual by letting them exactly how you feel and how it is affecting you
December 3rd, 2014 1:33am
I think the first step is recognizing that the relationship is unhealthy, and being able to actively identify why. Once you can do that, you're able to recognize that the relationship is not what you deserve. You deserve better. Once you're able to recognize and understand that, talking to supportive friends and family can provide you with the ground you need to stand on your own, take back the power in your life and make positive life choices that will lead you out of that relationship and towards the person you want to be.
May 31st, 2015 10:41am
END IT. Just END IT. I mean, you do not need to suffer more on that unhealthy relationship. If you don't want to ruin your life, simply break up with him/her. You are not getting better with that relationship.
July 28th, 2015 12:21am
If you have an unhealthy relationship, you're better off ending it as soon as possible. Though, a long term relationship might seem hard to end, because you possibly love this said person. If you realize that it is an unhealthy relationship you are all ready in the step of the right direction!
January 16th, 2016 4:36pm
first .. if it's dangerous or threatning your safety you need to call a special service ... if it doesn't ... you better talk to him directly and tell him you don't feel like it'll work out ... if you're scared from his reaction take someone with you ... what's important is to stop the relation before you feel more related to him .. and focus on forgeting him
February 5th, 2016 5:57am
The best is to make a decision and stick to it. Leaving a relationship is hard and we are always worried that we will regret it, but we should think about how the relationship is affecting us. Are you happy? Do you feel safe? Do you see a future for this relationship? If not be strong and break it off - better things are yet to come!
November 22nd, 2014 2:25am
Best way is to get yourself apart for a moment and see the way your relationship is going. Making sure to you that you deserve the best from someone, talk to the person and dont regret your desicion because life will have something better and someone better prepared for you
November 22nd, 2014 6:12pm
Attempt to talk to your partner calmly about why you find it unhealthy ad why you wan tot end the relationship.
December 7th, 2014 3:51am
Calmly and respectfully tell the person how you're feeling and why you want to end the relationship. Communication is key. Let your partner speak as well, honor their feelings as well as your own. If you ever feel you're in danger, you should tell someone before you begin talking to them.
December 17th, 2014 7:37am
Realize that it's an unhealthy relationship first of all,then do everything that you can to walk away. It's not worth the pain and suffering to stay
December 23rd, 2014 2:11am
Be straight up front. Say the following "This isn't good for you, and it isn't good for me. I think it's best we stop seeing each other." If things happen to go bad, and you feel your safety is at risk, there are many ways if preventing any harm your way. ALSO, if you feel telling them in person will put yourself in danger, its okay to use a free pass once in your life to do a breakup over the phone, preferably, not over text.
December 26th, 2014 2:27pm
First, you need to contemplate if this is actually what you want. Next, decide on a proper, kind way to tell the other person. It is wise to do this as soon as possible, hopefully in a safe setting.
December 27th, 2014 10:49pm
You need to get the outside support necessary to help you with this transition. Continue to remind yourself that both you and your partner deserve better than this.
January 2nd, 2015 9:14pm
Try to do it as quickly and cleanly as possible. If you need time to prepare (such as to take back important possessions or find a place to stay), try to plan ahead and to this beforehand. If you feel you might be in danger, leave when it's safest. Ask friends or family to help, and don't hesitate to call the authorities if things get dangerous -- police can even escort you to pick up your stuff in some areas. Good luck!
April 10th, 2015 8:36am
"This isnt working for me. I know i can do better. Ciao. Sayonara. Arrivederci. Au revoir. So long."
May 3rd, 2015 12:13am
I got unhealthy relationship lately, the best way to end it is talk. Talk deeply with your lover, think about future, and if it have blurred future, just end it.
June 30th, 2015 3:00am
Decide what you really want, make your intentions clear to the other person and walk away. Ensure you take care of yourself in the process.
July 13th, 2015 5:30pm
Well, that ending cannot be painless. But, when it's done, you'll feel relief. You tell to your partner that you want to end it, and when he tries to get you back, do not give in. Be consistent. And don't forget to stop every kind of contact.
January 13th, 2016 11:25pm
unhealthy relationships are hard to deal with and if it is unhealthy then find some way to get out of it
January 16th, 2016 8:29pm
Pull them aside and tell them how you feel about the relationship. Tell them exactly what you want and need.
January 17th, 2016 2:40am
first try to sit down with the other person and talk to them about whats going wrong and bring them to realization. hopefully they will agree and the relationship will end mutualy. or you can bring a friend or two with you and end things on the spot with protection and back up prof from your friends.
January 23rd, 2016 4:22pm
Speak to your partner in a good manner and tell him/her what is bothering you and that its not healthy for the both of you.
January 24th, 2016 4:18am
You have to explain why the relationship is failing, yes it'll be hard to hear the reaction but that's great that your ending it before it got worse.