Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I end an unhealthy relationship?

52 Answers
Last Updated: 01/05/2021 at 5:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Ashley Cox, LMHC

Counselor

Ready for a happier, healthier life? I specialize in transformative therapy that empowers you to thrive.

Top Rated Answers
healingSugar79
November 21st, 2014 10:17am
The first step is realizing that the relationship is unhealthy, and you've already done that, so good job! The second step is to make sure you're relationship isn't abusive, and If it is make a police report as ending the relationship can cause more conflict, so bringing in a third party to protect yourself from that person is the best thing you can do. If the relationship is not abusive, the best way to end it is sit down with that person and express your feelings. Don't put the blame on them as it could cause an argument, and that's the last thing you want. Express your feelings and don't let them convince you to stay, as you've already decided that the relationship is unhealthy. Tell them your wishes (eg: please do not contact me, pack your things and leave ect.) and give them time to process the situation, as they might not have the same feelings you do. Ask if they have any questions, answer them honestly and kindly. Hope I helped :)
BeInJoy
January 5th, 2016 5:11am
First you have to ask yourself what is keeping you in the relationship to begin with. Are you in it for your children or financial security? Do you stay because you're afraid no one else will love you in the way your current significant other does? Do you stay because he or she provides you with something you cannot provide yourself? Once you can ask yourself the hardest of questions, and then, answer them with honesty - which is harder, still, you may come to the realization that you no longer need the relationship. If you know the relationship is unhealthy, pinpointing what makes it unhealthy is always the first step. Once you've identified that very key bit of information, the next part is putting all the pieces of the puzzle together to make yourself whole again.
Pinkcookie
April 22nd, 2015 2:06pm
It is difficult to end any relationship. Period. Even if it is the worst thing in the world for you, it will still not be an easy decision to make. But ending unhealthy relationships is very necessary for the sake of your own well being. Resolving to take control of your life is the first step. You don't want to be in a relationship that brings you no or little joy. Talk to a trusted friend, parent or teacher. If you need professional help, don't hesitate to seek a therapist.
handsomeapricot
January 17th, 2016 8:04pm
If you fear your partner may react violently, talking to them in a public setting is a good idea. Furthermore, you may want to consider blocking contact with this person if this is the case, and make sure that you have a safe distance from this person. This is also a good way to seek closure and gather your own thoughts.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2014 9:06am
Think about how its effect you mentaly and physical, do tou need this? Do you want this? You need someone who is willing to be there for you
MaraAide
January 17th, 2016 9:14am
It's like ripping a bandaid off a wound. Just end it. It will take all the toxic stuff out of your life.
mysteriousWillow50
April 8th, 2015 5:15pm
Unhealthy relationships are hard to end and discontinue--- it also depends on the type. Family relationships are difficult, friendships are hard, too. But if it's a significant other, even more difficult, definitely. Because you have that friendship element, but that element of intimacy that you don't have in a platonic interaction. With that, honesty is best (always best policy I feel.)-- but you can be honest with someone and 'let them down gently'. For example, you have a significant other that you care about...but you feel the relationship isn't working--- talk about it, explain the reasons why you don't feel it's working and that perhaps you need a break. Or maybe you need to work things out together. It's really dependent on the situation itself, but there are times when just 'taking a break' from each other--and not contacting each other to get things sorted out in your own mind then progressing forward can be the best thing. Or it may be you need to just cut your ties with that individual altogether. Either way, your mental health and well-being should be a priority.
Nagisa
February 5th, 2016 5:57am
The best is to make a decision and stick to it. Leaving a relationship is hard and we are always worried that we will regret it, but we should think about how the relationship is affecting us. Are you happy? Do you feel safe? Do you see a future for this relationship? If not be strong and break it off - better things are yet to come!
opheliaslost
December 3rd, 2014 1:33am
I think the first step is recognizing that the relationship is unhealthy, and being able to actively identify why. Once you can do that, you're able to recognize that the relationship is not what you deserve. You deserve better. Once you're able to recognize and understand that, talking to supportive friends and family can provide you with the ground you need to stand on your own, take back the power in your life and make positive life choices that will lead you out of that relationship and towards the person you want to be.
beautifulParadise07
May 31st, 2015 10:41am
END IT. Just END IT. I mean, you do not need to suffer more on that unhealthy relationship. If you don't want to ruin your life, simply break up with him/her. You are not getting better with that relationship.
MiraculousMermaid13
July 28th, 2015 12:21am
If you have an unhealthy relationship, you're better off ending it as soon as possible. Though, a long term relationship might seem hard to end, because you possibly love this said person. If you realize that it is an unhealthy relationship you are all ready in the step of the right direction!
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2014 5:39pm
Communication is the best key to everything. If you feel that you are unhappy in a relationship, you can make a closure with the other individual by letting them exactly how you feel and how it is affecting you
Anonymous
January 16th, 2016 4:36pm
first .. if it's dangerous or threatning your safety you need to call a special service ... if it doesn't ... you better talk to him directly and tell him you don't feel like it'll work out ... if you're scared from his reaction take someone with you ... what's important is to stop the relation before you feel more related to him .. and focus on forgeting him
softShell54
February 1st, 2016 2:07am
Best way is to sit down have a conversation explain how it effects you and breakup on good terms so that everything is in the open
Greatlistener87
January 27th, 2016 3:45am
Just end it, be straight with your partner and tell him that you want to leave. Be firm with your decision.
soccer12811
February 3rd, 2016 4:01am
If it involves abuse, then do it in a public place so that people can step in or call 911. If not, then just be completely honest to him/her so there are minimal questions.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 7:43pm
Tell them that you need space for your own health. They may laugh or say no, but ultimately, the decision is in your hands. You don't have to stay if you don't want to.
hearnospeaknoseeno
February 5th, 2016 6:43am
Learn to love yourself and treasure who you are and what you have to bring to a relationship. Understand that you don't deserve to be harmed, please consider contacting the white ribbon society or beyond blue for more specific tips. I hope that you are safe and have supportive friends.
hopefulpoetry
February 6th, 2016 11:02am
Explain to the person what they did wrong on their part. So that the next relationship they are in, they will fix their own problems and won't do it again to another person. Then, you tell them you need to do what's right for the both of you, considering you have realized your relationship is unhealthy and not going anywhere in the future. For the sake of yours and that persons happiness/well being.
Anonymous
February 6th, 2016 8:32pm
Speak to your partner, try to have them understand what your feeling and I guess try to end it.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 4:29am
Maybe you should first the person if he/shes really interested in you or cares for you, if things go south put it in a simple way that hey i don't think this is working out and this how i feel so I think we should break-up
bubblyOcean52
February 11th, 2016 4:29pm
You need to take the chance, tell your partner how you feel and how this isn't what you want in a relationship anymore. Be brave and confident and just end it because the right person is there waiting for you. It's just taking you time to find who you are and what you want and sometimes it's better to be single than unhappy in a relationship.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2016 6:33pm
On a positive note. Let your partner know that parting ways may work better for both of you! But make sure to be polite at all times. And not rude or negative.
YourSupportGroup101
July 5th, 2016 12:15am
Admitting your relationship is unhealthy is the first step to ending it. You, as the other partner, make up 50% of the relationship itself, and that means your decisions and choices are just as important as the other person. To end said relationship, you need to establish within yourself whether communication is clear, and whether or not you can talk to the other person about how you're feeling. If you can, tell them you don't believe this is working, and break it off. If communication is not an option, reach out to family, friends, or even the police/a hotline for help if the relationship you're currently in is fatal to you and your health.
Chiipurple04
October 24th, 2017 2:39pm
You can end an unhealthy relationship by having a serious conversation with the other person regarding the factors that contributes to your relationship in becoming unhealthy. Being in an unhealthy relationship will cause you to lose yourself, that would just worsen the situation you have in a relationship and make it more unhealthy. It'll be better to have some space for the two individuals involve in an unhealthy relationship for them to have a good state of mind so they can think properly of the best solutions whether they could still save their relationship or they can save their selves by letting it go for the better.
Justlovewickedly84
February 20th, 2018 9:35pm
Stay true to yourself, look at what you need out of a relationship and see if this person is A: able and B: willing to give you these things or at the very least try to get there with you...
Kkxxrr
March 19th, 2018 11:23pm
being honest with your partner can be beneficial, possibly talking with someone who understands your experiance or can give you advice - a doctor for example. Make sure to put yourself first and not let others make any decisions for you. I hop you are well and things begin to turn around for you, sending you love and support in this time.
slhX
August 6th, 2018 10:25am
Have a conversation, explain how your feeling and that you need space and you need to come out of the situation. If the situation is worse at this point - completely leave without saying a word.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2018 4:08pm
You tell the person you are breaking up with them and don't speak to the person and you move on and it depends on what type of relationship if its family then if they're toxic you move away from them and block all contact
ButtercupBoo
September 15th, 2020 5:24pm
We all deserve somone who really loves you. And i don't think in an unhealthy relationship, the person loves you. They are looking to manipulate and control you. I don't see a point in why anyone should stay in an unhealthy relationship. But i also understand it's about the feelings we have for that person. To end a relationship with someone you are not happy with but is in love with is hard. It takes so much strength to do it. But just understand that it's not love from the other person no matter what they say. Don't think it's your fault cos the other person says so. They are just trying to be manipulative and blame you for everything they do. You deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you. So leave the person no matter how hard it may seem like. It is definitely for the better. You would definitely realise that sooner or later.❤️