How to get over someone I am madly in love with? Without losing my self?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 05/06/2019 at 8:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Sarah Archer, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

As a Licensed MFT I work with clients to more effectively address, process and learn skills to manage the problems that prevent them from living the life they want.

Top Rated Answers
newbiebunny
September 22nd, 2015 8:19am
Find yourself again, get madly in love with who you are :P, spend your time figuring out who you are on your own
NDS369
July 10th, 2015 8:45am
Its obvious he left me as Im still madly in love with him...so I take his que, he moved on , thinking about all his negative points that I ignored earlier certainly helps.
JamDrich93
August 16th, 2016 3:45am
its not an easy one. it takes time and dedication. distracting yourself is the best but it doesn't always solve the problem, finding something to consume your time is good but stress is always present. you need to have closure. accept the facts and be brave to find another source of happiness. its always in time.
GluteusMax
January 25th, 2016 5:24am
Love yourself first, then love another. You can't be in a healthy relationship without loving yourself as much or more than the other.
purpleRaven76
September 12th, 2016 1:01pm
Getting over losing a love is much like the steps of grieving when someone we love dies. It can help to know that grief is like a spiral;, you won't be stuck in the sample place forever, but you may have to revisit painful feelings over time.
thirstycrow
February 13th, 2018 10:51am
You don’t get over love through willpower or by going through certain steps. You can get over planning your inner and outer life around someone who isn’t sharing her/his life with you. Instead base it around yourself, and the things and people who are in your life. Think of how much you love this person, and how you can’t turn it off. If you met a great person now, could you choose to be with that person? If so — great! Go and try to find a great person to be with. If not, you’re like most people: we can’t turn love on and off. This is probably an inability the person you love shares: s/he can’t choose to feel the same way about you. This is (part of) why you shouldn't wait for her/him. Your choice is not whether to keep loving this person. Your choice is how you will live your life now. Do try to place weight/care on yourself rather than on this other person. Best of luck to you.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2015 5:25am
It's hard. For sure. But all you need to do is stay positive and find a new activity to get your mind of off it, and to meet new people.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2015 9:18am
Getting over someone you are in love with is not an easy thing at all, but is something that happens in life. The best way to go through is acceptance that it is over, and that you will still be able to do stuff without the person. Mas for moving on, one you have accepted it will be a lot more easier, but start thinking about yourself, get the things you love to do, like writing, sports, anything you love to do and start doing them to make yourself happy. You have to love yourself and make yourself happiest to the fullest
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2015 11:45am
Delete him out my mind and life burn every thing that once was his to keep any thing that's his it would be back memories
TheSupport
January 26th, 2016 10:49pm
You should talk someone about it. Hang over with some friends and try to be happy. Remember the things you did and turning them into a beautiful memories. Show them youre happy and can survive.
Greatlistener87
August 22nd, 2016 5:49am
Sometimes to love a person is to let that person go if that is the best and right choice to make. Just know that you have given it your 110% and you did the right thing.
MiaHach
November 2nd, 2015 6:03pm
Spend more time with your friends. be busy doing things you love and enjoy, and less thinking about him\her.
meghan3
August 2nd, 2016 8:30pm
Let yourself get upset first. You have to purge yourself of the pent up emotions before you can heal. Find catharsis through venting to a friend, watching a sad movie, or having a good cry. You can even do that right here on 7 Cups! Take some time to wallow, but then quickly work on getting over it. I find the most helpful method of getting over another person is taking time to focus on yourself. Work on goals you have, start a new hobby you've always wanted to try, throw yourself into your work or school. Success is the best revenge, and you'll feel better about yourself in no time.
Stephenathome
January 3rd, 2017 6:23pm
This is one of the hardest things in life. There are many ways and everyone is different. For example some people find someone new and others keep themselves busy or change their lifestyle. It will take a lot of time.
mindfulChaos
July 24th, 2018 7:45pm
Begin to take it like the process of grief. Your goal is to accept where you are at, but of course, that is way easier said than done. Your best bet is to find an active support system or contacting a counselor. It's best to not dwell on the past and to ignore past messages, because in the end that will crush you.
Premisintheair
February 22nd, 2015 8:25am
You need to be in control of your emotions & make things clear before getting in a relation, cause if you make things clear at the first then mentally u will be in your control & you will be in the drivers seat
Eli911
April 2nd, 2015 4:07pm
FOr me it was distractions until my mind was ready to heal. I would try to keep busy. Then I would try to remember how I felt, but not relive the emotions.
divinewillpower86
January 4th, 2016 12:35am
There is LOVE which is Far away distant from Lust/Attraction. Suppose you see a cute small kitten near to road playing and without stopping by and without taking the cat away if you can go straight to your destination knowing that cat might get injure then If you feel you are in LOVE and till though you try to be madly in love with lust/attraction/loosing limits then you are doing neglecting and removing your HEART pleasure.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2017 4:57pm
Don't limit yourself in what you THINK you should feel. If you feel sad, then be sad. If you're angry, then be angry. Surround yourself with friends and family that will listen because they know you need it. I have two specific friends who I ranted day in and day out about the ups and downs of the relationship and even though at this point, they could have recited my dialog word for word, they listened. They patted my back and let me feel. Don't try to cut off how you feel, instead, roll with it. Do what is best for you so if you like to be around others when you're upset, do so. If you like to hike, set out on a nice long one. Do things that matter to you and know that time heals everything.
zaatarHoney
May 6th, 2019 8:43pm
After we lose someone we were/are in love with, there are many paths we can take. Every person impacts us to different extents. With that said, it’s an opportunity to discover who you are in that moment. After all these years and experiences, before this person and after this person, who are you? Without the distraction of losing yourself in someone, or creating a future that revolves around the person you are sharing you life with, who are you and what do you want out of life? It can seem and feel like a curse, but there is a Blessing deeply embedded in this new chapter. You get to make decisions based solely on your own happiness and ambition. But know that, it does take time to grieve. And there are many ways we exhibit grief throughout our healing process, and you should always seek out support during this time. When we stay receptive, or open, to the love around us- we can thrive again, even as our heart is mending. Best wishes, friend.