I Love my ex girlfriend but she dumped me, I cheated by talking to other girls online (sexting etc) is there’s a chance we could fix this?
Last Updated: 04/27/2021 at 3:55pm
Monique Thompson, LPC, LPC-S
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am in my 21st year as a psychotherapist. I have worked with over 3, 000 people over the course of my career.
Top Rated Answers
There is a huge loss of trust that goes along with those actions. The best you can do is apologize and tell her what your relationship meant to you. If you two were in love, she might give you a second chance but just realize that it could just as easily go the other way and you should be prepared for that.
Try to apologize sweetie. Don't expect an easy fix. Love, Gertrude
It's tough to be in a position where you know you have hurt someone and still want to work it out. It's important to keep communication open and honestly is the best policy!
That's not something I can answer from the information given. While relationships can survive and recover from infidelity, it takes a level of commitment from both parties - and there's no mention of that commitment from the girl friend. What I'd tell a friend in your situation is to spend some time working on themself. There's a reason you cheated - figuring out what that was and what they can do to correct it should be the first step. Once you have that under control, you can think about trying to work things out with the ex. Be prepared though, she may not have any interest in getting back together no matter what you've fixed in yourself.
Anything is possible, but I think the real question is whether or not you truly want her back as your partner. Think deep and be honest about the reasons why you'd like her back. Were you a good fit for each other? Did you motivate and support each other to be the best you could be? Are you simply lonely and wish to have someone by your side? Also ask yourself what you're looking for romantically in your life right now. And when you have the answers to these two big questions, compare them and see if they are similar or different. Then the final question: would it be good for the both of you if you got back together? Well, even if you decide that it would be better for you two to be together, she might not agree. And we can't force others to decide or act in the way we want. So if you truly love her, you'll respect her decision if she wishes to remain apart. Wish you peace, clarity and all the best in your journey. :)
Honestly, I cannot answer if there is a way for you two to fix this or not. That is something that would be between the two of you. You can always try to ask if she is willing to have a conversation about it and go from there. If she says yes, then you can let her know how you feel and what you would like. If she says no, I would urge you to respect that. All you can do is ask about having a conversation but there is no way to control the outcome. As with any relationship conversation, respect it key.
This is a very tough question and it really depends on where you two stand in the relationship. You have option A) where you let her go and both start healing from this or B) you guys attempt to fix this. If you chose B, then the first thing you need to figure out is if she even wants to fix this. The next thing you need to figure out if you have the patience and time to invest in fixing this. You have broken the trust that was established and now it is going to be MUCH more difficulty to fix it. Imagine you have a mirror, it works right? Now you broke the mirror, you can put the pieces back together but it will take A LOT of time and YOU may get hurt in the process. The mirror won't even be the exact same, since now there are cracks in it. The mirror is also a lot more fragile and there may be pieces missing. Are you okay with that? Is she okay with that? If you both are, seek couple's therapy and therapy FOR YOURSELF. It is important to remember now that this relationship is at HER pace. You cannot rush this process.
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