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What could I have done better to fix this relationship?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 04/09/2019 at 3:35am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Hope Hadding, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am a professional therapist with extensive experience working with various mental health disorders as well as sexual issues. I am supportive and non-judgmental.

Top Rated Answers
HazelGreenEyez
September 13th, 2016 8:29am
Every relationship is different. I don't feel anyone should live in blaming themself or their partner but in fact to have self reflection. Also, be honest with yourself with what you and your partner did and didn't do that caused hardships between you two and look at what you could do to fix these problems. Always make sure you are being open with what you need, want, and feel; keep open communication. Also demand respect and give it in return. In the end, you can only do the best you can with the knowledge you had at the time, so try not to look back and do the 'what if's' and regret. Learn from the relationship and move forward and progress.
Glareofyesterday
May 18th, 2015 7:43pm
Be more of a team player in the relationship because problems occur and being one sided and ignorant leads to nothing but more problems.
Anonymous
May 26th, 2015 6:28pm
Understanding where each other is coming from is a big part of relationships, listen to each other and talk things out before jumping to conclusions.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2015 9:47pm
If asking your former partner is out of the question, try to put yourself in their shoes. From their perspective, what do you think you could've done better? Are there any places where you showed selfishness, or lacked empathy? Were you kind and understanding towards their feelings?
HopefulJet61
November 9th, 2015 2:08am
In any relationship taking the time to look at the bigger picture and see what exactly is causing trouble is making a huge step to improve relationships.
DipityEnigma
April 12th, 2016 11:56pm
This question is quite vague in itself and it has multiple outcomes but the most common answers would have been to listen to what your partner was trying to tell you; to have read between the lines a bit more. Depending upon the situation, being a bit more loving and tender towards their needs. Perhaps you needed to spend more time with the person or maybe they felt you didn't care enough if you didn't show your emotions for this person. I would recommend speaking with a Listener one-on-one about your predicament so that the Listener can get a better understanding of your situation and then will be able to talk you through what happened and help you come to your own conclusion. :)
shiningDay13
March 17th, 2015 8:57pm
Unfortunately, there is no single clear cut answer to this. That is something you will need to discuss with your partner. Remember that relationships require work on both ends, so don't burden yourself by blaming yourself.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2015 10:38pm
If you gave it your all, then nothing. Relationships are a two way street. If you're willing to go down your way and your partner is willing to go theirs to meet you half way, that makes a good relationship.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2015 5:53am
Nothing, it wasn't your fault. It was their fault for not realising what a beautiful person they had. They let you go, they lost. You'll find someone better.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2015 12:53pm
I often ask myself this question and I think multiple years of personal growth has helped me realize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It is not our place to be perfect at all times. I personally, pushed myself to be perfect and 100% all the time. Not allowing yourself to feel true emotions will begin to hurt you in the end. It is important to set realistic relationship goals and to communicate effectively with not only your partner but also yourself.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2015 5:28pm
Well, I've just been dumped by my last girl for no reason. Some relationships just aren't meant to be. Talking is a big point with this question, you have to open up to each other, keeping secrets and not telling your girlfriend/boyfriend if you're sad or hurting or depressed can add more stress, mainly because you worry the other person. Sometimes you love the other person more than they love you, and that's what hurts. Like my mother always tells me, if you don't feel the same love back, cut your loses and move on, life happens, and you can only do what you feel is right to fix a relationship.
pandaxia
June 14th, 2015 7:58pm
I think there are a million things you could over analyse to try and answer this, but it will only frustrate and upset you. Why not concentrate on the things you can do better today to make you happier tomorrow - put yourself first. Pandaxia.
hopefulMoment62
November 30th, 2015 2:18am
Its not what you could or couldn't do in your relationship. It takes two in every situation, whether it is good or bad
tomorrow102
March 12th, 2018 10:08am
a relationship bases fundamentally on trust. trust implies sympathy, empathy, forgiveness and acceptance. don't be angry, don't react too emotionally, don't react to impulsive. just be calm. silent is the key for every conversation. learn how to listen. learn how to smile.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2018 12:33am
You did the best you could! There is no need to keep asking yourself what you could of done. The past is In the past.
LittleMissJoy
April 9th, 2019 3:35am
Firstly, you should be proud of yourself for acknowledging your part in the relationship you are wanting to fix. This is something most people fail to do in any kind of relationship. The most effective approach towards what you can do as an individual, to improve the relationship with another person, is by receiving honest and constructive feedback. Sometimes, we may not be open or in favor of getting feedback from others but, the only way we can truly fix something about ourselves is by being told so. In saying that, people providing you with feedback should be specific in the way they give that feedback rather than, speaking in general terms. Once you have heard what people are telling you, you can then focus on improving those parts about you. Also, it is important to be true to you and only change the qualities or things about yourself because YOU want too. Not because of other people's expectations.